you might be a homebrewer if...

You take a break in the middle do a conversation at a restaurant to critique the beer.
You find a way to turn any conversation, anywhere and any time to talk beer.
You have been banned from the kitchen for multiple beer crimes.
You own way to many beer and brewery T shirts.
And, your basement is now for fermenting and bottle storage, anyone going down to the basement is immediately suspect!

 

Much to your spouse's chagrin, you rearrange the fridge to make room for your yeast

 

You try to explain to your SO why you need a 4th fridge.

 

Your belly buttom aim at the floor

 

You invest in a spare LP gas canister on a 'just in case' basis.

 

The wife asks when you are going to brew again because the kitchen needs cleaning.

You always get separated from the group on a brewery tour, and end up talking to one of the brewers for the entire time.

You actually take notes at a brewers festival.

 

Your wood shed doubles as a brew spot when it rains.
You run an extra outside water line so wort can cool while the wife waters the flowers.
Your trash can hold way too many empty 1 and or5 lb grain bags.
You have plenty of empty 55 lb rah Rhar and Maris otter for bagging leaves, and
Your favorites are Ba, more beer, mid west brewing and every craft brewery you are currently tracking.

 

...you have to explain to your wife why to keep the A/C at an optimum temp range for your ferments in the summer months.
...you have to tell your wife to give the yeast starter a swirl every few hours while you're at work.
...your wife hates helping you cap your beers at bottling time, but loves to drink the beer you make.

Notice a similarity among all of these??

 

All easily solved...
- fermentation fridge
- stir plate
- kegging

(I'm assuming you want to keep the wife.)

 

All on the birthday/christmas list for this year!

....I should add another one then. Convincing the wife that you actually need these things.

 

I like to live dangerously, at least that's what the kids say

 

... the neighbors called the cops because you were growing suspicious plants in the back yard.
... your neighbors call you Heisenberg.

 

Gotta love a hobby where spending money on yourself makes the wife happy.

 

Another one I'm very proud of, and hope no one minds me sounding my own horn:
... Friends call you every week asking what you are brewing and if they can go in on a grain bill for a 12 pack.
... You do a bottle swap at work and people that don't even brew are buying bottles of beer just to be able to swap with one of your home brews.

 

You keep a huge, broken down chest freezer the power company is offering $50 for, because it might make a winter conical chamber some day.

 

You keep passing up expensive beers at the store that you believe you can make yourself for 1 tenth of the price.

 

and it is better.

 

if you ever used a mop on a ceiling.
You loudly cuss when you see a Country Malt Group ad in the Yankee Brew News

 

...you get drunk and talk about attenuation : )