Total Rant From A Chick Who Loves Beer

Because the dominant paradigm of our world is still that men are superior and women in inferior.

It's not craft beer enthusiasts that are just sexist jackasses, it's pretty much everyone (though I am sure you have much more awareness of this than I).

With that said, though expected, I too am always disappointed by the amount of sexism I see just on these boards. It's pretty remarkable. I highly support and encourage you to politely turn towards folks who speak to you in such a fashion, raise your middle finger and say "go fuck yourself."

 

I also love digging through the tap list and some times I'm sure my wife thinks I'm being rude.

The guy was probably hitting on you.

You should have ordered the most "impressive/limited/expensive/high abv" beer on the list and bought him the root beer/cider. It would have been worth the extra money.

 

After the OP ordered her beer she should have told the bar keeper to bring her new friend a chocolate milk.

 

I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but that was his attempt to hit on you. And, I suppose, an attempt to "show" you how much knowledge he possesses.

 

Very much he was hitting on you. He was trying to impress upon you his infinite wisdom of the craft world. Throw such a character a fail card next time and don't let that be a stereotype for the rest of the community.

 

Maybe he was trying to pick you up. A pretty lame line but what would you expect neck-beard. You could have said pick me one and pay for it if I don't enjoy it.

 

Please tell me this douche was wearing a fedora.

 

That was a pretty weak attempt of hitting on a woman though. Many guys like that though are arrogant and think they know it all and women don't. That's a jackass move on his part. I think women in the craft beer scene is a good thing actually. I love talking good beer with a woman who knows what she's talking about. Hell, when I was in VT on a trip, I had a woman sit next to me at the bar and was telling me all sorts of useful information about where to get stuff that even I didn't know. I felt bad jetting so quickly though after she told me about a place down the street that had just gotten some stuff like SoS and Lunch in when she was there. I took off pretty quickly to snag it. She was laughing and said good luck to me getting some, which I did! All because of her tips.

 

As others have mentioned, the craft beer 'scene' is still mostly populated by males. Based on my experience, lots of males can be major jackasses. Eh. Some people are like that. I look at it the same way as when I take my two daughters to a park, for example, and get get comments (entirely from women, mind you) like 'you're brave to do that on your own' or 'can you handle both of them?' My advice - F 'em and don't worry too much about it. It's still a largely sexist society but things are slowly getting better.

 

I always cringe when someone places people in groups, and then complains about that group. Men are sexist, white people are racist, etc. Every situation is different. Generalizations aren't helpful. They just divide us.

Sorry about your bad experience.

 

Sounds like he was a little over-bearing while trying to impress you.

He shoulda taken the hint, but beyond that you're kinda generalizing. He picked the wrong lady to try and hit on at the bar. The fact that he didn't take the hint makes me see ulterior motive behind 'trying to help'

You must be hot and know your beer, JK, try not to read too much into dudes that are socially slow.

 

To be fair, a lot of guys are complete sexist jackasses so the percentage might not be any higher than the general population. I'd like to think that he would also patronize a guy who takes a few extra moments to look at the menu but I doubt it. As you note, the beer enthusiast community is largely male and some guys are really impressed with their own knowledge. It sucks. And it really makes you crazy when somebody is that condescending. I know. And it has to be extra aggravating when part of the reason they condescend is because you're not a dude.

Next time, maybe ask his opinion about one or two of the beers on the list while giving your own analysis. You might get the chance to have a nice conversation and even let him know that he comes across as an arrogant jerk (though perhaps not in those terms). He might not be a bad guy but he needs to learn how to treat other people, and women. Because if he's this way with you about beer, then it'll come out in other situations as well.

On another note, the guys in the community (and the world) need to step up and say something when we witness this behavior, whether or not a female is present. As a guy, I love when I meet a girl who likes to drink and talk about beer. If I had seen this I probably would have gone up to the guy and asked him to tell me about all the beers on the menu. At least he'd be out of your hair.

 

Not a fan of huge tap lists either. Keep it simple folks. I don't need a book.
He probably was on his second and believed he meant well in his harmless attempt to chat you up. But he's also a bit of a chode for thinking he's on better grounding beerily. So... What'd you order?

 

As an adult male, my mother raised me, if I am first to get to a door that needs opening, to then always hold that door open for others near by and let them preceed me, regardless of their age, gender, size or how well I know them. More than once I've had a woman berate me for being a sexist when doing so. A woman raised me and some women berate me. Confusing.

 

This is a horseshit response that reinforces the sexism being discussed. "If you're attractive and in a beer bar, you're going to get hit on." Why? Maybe she doesn't want to get hit on? Why is it that because a woman enters a place where there's a lot of men she has to expect to be hit on? I never willingly walk into situations expecting to be made to feel uncomfortable. I'm not naive, human beings are going to flirt with others. But right off the rip she made it clear to this dude to back off, but he kept going. She shouldn't have to just deal with that. Second, the "have a beer and relax" line is even more insulting than what the guy in the bar did. Why does she have to "let it go." If it bothers her, then it bothers her.

 

Why does the cashier always ask "What did you do wrong" when I'm buying my girlfriend flowers?

Why do people assume that when I'm grocery shopping that I'm going off a list a woman wrote for me?

Why did the waiter assume the salad was for her and the fries were for me?

There's zero excuse for sexism, but unfortunately it's very real. Traditional gender roles are still extremely pervasive. Somehow we started associating beer with men and wine with women, and our entertainment culture is helping those perceptions grow.

Commercials for beer... men having fun. Women in TV and movies... drinking wine. Man hands woman a beer in the latest RomCom... bitter beer face. Man drinking wine on latest-fat-comedian-has-hot-wife-and-ethnic-best-friend sitcom... gay.

My girl and I love the dark beers. Hell, she pulled me out of my Miller Lite rut and into the sun! Beer culture is something that we enjoy together and I think women have a lot to offer the community and the evolution of beer.

Unfortunately, we haven't changed the world prejudice yet. That sucks. But in the meantime, we can make small differences. I'm sure small talk with neck-beard wasn't something you wanted in the first place, but did you correct him and show him the error of his ways? Maybe recommend something to him instead? I'm sure he was enjoying the latest hops-hoppity-hop-hop-did-we-mention-hops-so-many-hops macro/micro offering and good for him, but Beer Bros rarely take advice from anyone other than another Beer Bro. He needed you! It was a cry for help. "Save me from my narrow mindedness and show me a better life".

Opportunity lost. What a shame.

 

well look that would be an okay thing to do if you had legitimately seemed confused or there had been evidence that you didn't know anything but judging from the way you described it it sounds like the guy was just a condescending asshole, I have done this sort of thing before but only when it was obvious that the person (male or female) knew nothing, there's nothing wrong with being helpful, but that's not the same as being a prick, but in any case as you said yourself, most BA users are male which means that by default there are likely more male craft drinkers than female (not saying that makes it okay because it clearly does not), but in any case regardless of the gender percentages or the gender of the person, there will always be condescension in craft beer men condescending to men, men condescending to women etc. Haha I think that if someone did that to me I'd order the strongest thing I could think of and tell them to fuck off