Best quotes from reviews

I just saw someone say on a PBR review "im white trash and im in trouble"
I thought that was really funny.

 

"I'm thinking this is what homeless people drink when they have a poor day panhandling. " -WC

 

"Good Lord!!!! This is a beer to serve your enemies. Got a case at cut-rate prices about 8 years ago, and found it one of the most loathsome substances on God's green Earth!!!! After a few, I would play a game by slipping it into coolers at BBQs and other parties. Most of the unwitting consumers immediately realized their mistake." - Dixie White Moose

 

" Imagine biting into an oak barrel that you can't even imagine, now do that nine more times. That is how this beer do "

 

For Smuttynose Gravitation:

It starts with this:

And ends with this:

Thanks, @kojevergas

 

As I mentioned in another thread (got deleted), I thoroughly enjoy his reviews. I just wish I had time/patience/palate to write up reviews like he does. When perusing beer at stores, I tend to seek out his reviews.

 

" This would be a fine drink if you're a 22 year old girl and want to end up pregnant in the bathroom stall at an indie concert ".

And who are you talking about @donspublic

 

Several of the reviews for 5 year anniversary persimmon sour from Bayou Teche brewery have left me in stitches. Just go and read.

 

@kojevergas he rates to style is goes into a lot of detail, when I am looking to try something I haven't had before I will usually look for his review. It won't stop me from buying it if he doesn't like it, but I can pretty much know what I am getting into if I do.

 

Bullfrog COP review had my dying:

"...I've had a lot of good beer and a lot of bad beer. Crime Of Passion is probably the worst beer that i have ever had. It smells like diapers, old Indian food and regret. It tastes like nail polish, water from Chernobyl, rusty nails and rigor mortis. Getting this down the hatch was difficult as i almost threw up, so i had to pinch my nose so i would not smell this death trap while drinking it. COP ended up in the dirt, and i feel sorry for that dirt, but i had to do what I had to do..."

 

Is the Sammyisms website still a thing?

 

I will always read whatever stinkyfishboys posts. Usually nothing critiquing a beer at all, just random gibberish. Pretty funny stuff, though.

 

from an excellent review found here:

"Suggested food pairing: Funyuns, Slim Jims, Pork Rinds, a pack of Pall Mall cigarettes, a night of bad decisions, regret"

 

Still my favorite comment ever on a beer:

http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1464/79633/?ba=Ryan011235

And I echo those sentiments. That beer was brutal.

 

"I hate you Tailgate!" -VelvetExtract, on Tailgate IPA

 

"Horse taint aroma"

Can't remember who the reviewer was or which beer was being reviewed, but this is my all time favorite.

 

hahahaha "9-volt battery" thats great

 

Is "WC" me? I don't remember that one!

 

Well, this thread is damn intimidating. I don't think I'll ever come up with anything close to these literary gems even after knocking down a few of the beers described here.

 

C.mon, of course, who else could come up with that kind of inspired and intelligent derision?