Best quotes from reviews

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by sergeantstogie, Sep 21, 2015.

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  1. David_Deas

    David_Deas Initiate (0) Jan 26, 2016 North Carolina

    Many of the best reviews have been culled as "not constructive"
     
    #181 David_Deas, Feb 10, 2016
  2. dlcarst

    dlcarst Zealot (733) Aug 21, 2015 Missouri
    Trader

    "So me and my boy D-Kwon was in Safeway and he told me to buy that Winter pack. I said that sh**s $20 son! Aint nobody spendin that much on drinks. But he said its got that chocolate stuff, the gritty gritty. So I thought it may be worth a taste.
    Got home and poured it in my plastic solo cup and it looked dark as hell. I said, this stuff is crazy dark and smells like chocolate 2!
    I was snackin on some of them dubble stuff oreos and was like, damn son, these things taste bomb together. Check it, I would drink another one if D-Kwon didnt drink it first."

    http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/35/14309/?ba=Freshlikeugh

    The phrase "gritty gritty" has been in my vocabulary since I read this gem a couple years ago.
     
    #182 dlcarst, Feb 10, 2016
    Lahey, PatrickCT, Harrison8 and 2 others like this.
  3. brewmudgeon

    brewmudgeon Initiate (0) Jun 26, 2007 Wisconsin

    Best example of what I can't stand, and from someone who has reviewed thousands of beers, but I give it credit for being so explicit:

    "It's much better than most Pilsners but still just a Pilsner to me." Sometimes I find myself singing this line in a country western style vocalization. (The beer in question, despite being "much better than most Pilsners," was rated a 2.65.)
     
    #183 brewmudgeon, Feb 10, 2016
  4. deford

    deford Pooh-Bah (1,559) Nov 11, 2013 California
    Pooh-Bah Trader

    I wish this thread was longer...when I get to the end, I'm not done laughing...
     
    #184 deford, Feb 10, 2016
    WesMantooth and obrike like this.
  5. JMS1512

    JMS1512 Initiate (0) Feb 18, 2013 New Jersey

    That's mine!!!!! I'm honored.
     
    #185 JMS1512, Feb 10, 2016
    LifesAnesthesia, ChiCubs78, utopiajane and 2 others like this.
  6. JMS1512

    JMS1512 Initiate (0) Feb 18, 2013 New Jersey

    Wait... you opted for 9-volt battery over fresh giraffe manure?!
     
    #186 JMS1512, Feb 10, 2016
    CJNAPS likes this.
  7. CJNAPS

    CJNAPS Pooh-Bah (2,492) Nov 3, 2013 California
    Pooh-Bah

    The whole thing was great hahaha
     
    #187 CJNAPS, Feb 10, 2016
    ChiCubs78 likes this.
  8. monkeybeerbelly

    monkeybeerbelly Initiate (0) Dec 6, 2012 New York

    you sir are a genius!
     
    #188 monkeybeerbelly, Feb 10, 2016
    JMS1512 likes this.
  9. sergeantstogie

    sergeantstogie Initiate (0) Nov 16, 2010 Washington

    "it amazes me there isn't a category for just New Glarus fruit beers because no one does it quite like this fills your mouth like over excited high-school quarter back on prom night and it coats everything and it's a flavor that lasts. Great mouth feel " from the mi ass t recent review of Wisconsin Belgian Red
     
    #189 sergeantstogie, Jun 19, 2016
    gillagorilla likes this.
  10. laketang

    laketang Grand Pooh-Bah (3,017) Mar 22, 2015 Arizona
    Pooh-Bah

    Looks nice but then you put to your nose and its an unpleasant burnt tire acid, almost like burning rubber or burning electrical wiring. A bit like burnt sour grapes.

    from a DeMolen Mud& funk review , i'm thinking he got burnt.
     
    #190 laketang, Jun 19, 2016
  11. ChiCubs78

    ChiCubs78 Initiate (0) Jan 2, 2015 Illinois

    The 9-volt battery part had me dying too.
     
    #191 ChiCubs78, Mar 22, 2017
  12. Shanex

    Shanex Grand Pooh-Bah (4,960) Dec 10, 2015 France
    Mod Team Society Pooh-Bah Trader

    Everybody could have written this, but this guy did first and got 22 likes for that review:

    SoCold, Mar 26, 2015
     
    #192 Shanex, Mar 28, 2017
    AZBeerDude72, VABA, Eamonn-Cummings3 and 1 other person like this.
  13. Donco

    Donco Pooh-Bah (1,639) Aug 12, 2013 Pennsylvania
    Pooh-Bah

    I think there's a direct correlation between how much alcohol has been consumed at the start of a review and it's "entertainment value":wink:
     
    #193 Donco, Mar 29, 2017
    dbl_delta, lordofthewiens, WellRested518 and 1 other person like this.
  14. mudbug

    mudbug Pooh-Bah (1,762) Mar 27, 2009 Oregon
    Pooh-Bah

    #194 mudbug, Mar 29, 2017
    cavedave and AZBeerDude72 like this.
  15. HorseheadsHophead

    HorseheadsHophead Grand Pooh-Bah (3,732) Sep 15, 2014 Colorado
    Pooh-Bah Trader

    #195 HorseheadsHophead, Apr 4, 2018
    cavedave, AZBeerDude72 and Hoppedelic like this.
  16. needMIbeer

    needMIbeer Pooh-Bah (2,178) Feb 5, 2014 Virginia
    Pooh-Bah Trader

    #196 needMIbeer, Apr 4, 2018
    HorseheadsHophead likes this.
  17. cavedave

    cavedave Grand Pooh-Bah (4,157) Mar 12, 2009 New York
    In Memoriam Pooh-Bah Trader

    #197 cavedave, Apr 4, 2018
    HorseheadsHophead likes this.
  18. ThinBlueLine

    ThinBlueLine Initiate (0) Aug 23, 2014 New Jersey

    Sitting here laughing my ass off at some of these reviews. Actually now inspired to get more creative if and when I make a review.
     
    #198 ThinBlueLine, Apr 7, 2018
    HorseheadsHophead and cavedave like this.
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