the beer trading game

Several. First, it would be helpful to hear your trading partner's side of this story as well, as several things aren't adding up for me.

At least with the trades I've set up, my trading partner and I always set up the parameters of the trade arrangement before we make the actual trade. If it's just a straight bottle for bottle trade (I generally never do this), then that's specified at the outset. If our trade is based on the value of the bottles we're exchanging (this is typically what I/we do), then that's specified at the outset. I tell my trading partner first, what the likely cost is going to be for me to obtain the beers he wants. If my actual cost looks like it's going to be significantly higher than expected, then I text that information to him before I pull the trigger. If he doesn't get back to me, I don't make the purchase. Beers I'm receiving in exchange, I know in advance what the out of pocket cost is likely to be for my trading partner, and how he arrived at that cost. If there's something I really, really want, and my partner has to go out of his way to obtain it (either by trade or paying an especially high fee to obtain it), then of course he'll let me know what the added cost is going to be BEFORE he obtains it. On one occasion I wanted to obtain some 2011 Blushing Monk for my wife, and I was willing to pay a premium to obtain it. I made that VERY clear on the front end, but even then, told my trading partner that if the price was over a certain amount, to forget about it.

Reading over your post, the most glaring problem I see is that both of you made certain assumptions, and you did not discuss the parameters of the trade before hand. Just my two cents on this, but the less of a trading history you have with a potential trading partner, the more important it is to lay out all the ground rules at the outset of the trade. In this case, I agree that your trading partner should have told you in advance that he was going to be paying a huge premium to obtain the beers you were looking for, but on the other hand, I think you should have also spelled out to him that you were not willing to pay more than a certain amount (retail, current grey market value, etc.), and that if it cost more than that, then he should not try to obtain those beers.

Time and time again, the primary problem I see with trades that go south, is that both parties did not communicate their expectations sufficiently to the other individual. That clearly seems to be the case here.

 

I don't know what to tell you TeemuWPG. Maybe I'm just cautious by nature, but I'm a big believer in not leaving anything to chance. Whether I initiate the trade or someone else does, I always want to know what an item is going to cost me before I arrange to trade for it. Based on my limited trading experience, my impression is that everyone has a different idea regarding the value of an item. Some folks try to factor in a beer's after market cost, trade value on the open market, difficulty in obtaining the beer, rarity, etc., in coming up with what they feel is the beer's exchange value. Personally, I refuse to play that "game," and I tell any prospective trader that up front. In fact, just as mentioned in the OP, the first thing I do when I'm talking to someone about a possible trade, is to explain the trade parameters.

If I happen to know the person I'm trading with, that's one thing (as I generally have a better idea what to expect from them). However, if this is someone I've never traded with, it just seems incomprehensible to me that I wouldn't try to get some idea what it's going to cost me to obtain a certain beer, and how that individual came up with that cost. I would NOT assume that my idea of what constitutes a fair price is the same as what his notion is of what constitutes a fair price.

If you have a chance, read over some of the Bad Trader threads in that forum (if you haven't already). Again and again, I've seen trades fall through due to a lack of communication, and/or because the two parties made assumptions about the other party that turned out not to be accurate. Frankly, your "let's just use common sense when it comes to figuring out a fair value" for a beer has all too often led to disappointment and resentment. My impression is that the scenario described by the OP is yet another example of that.

 

This is what I do as well.

I don't disagree with your approach, especially as it seems to have worked just fine for you.

The OP was outlining a scenario that pretty clearly seems to have resulted in a fairly significant misunderstanding. It sounded to me as if he was asking for vindication of his actions, but also was wondering if he or the other trader were responsible for what transpired. My take is that neither (or both) members are likely responsible for the misunderstanding.

Assuming the story we're hearing from the OP is completely accurate (my experience is that there are generally two sides to these types of misunderstandings), then he's absolutely right... it seems very strange to me that his trading partner would have gone to all the added trouble and expense of obtaining those other beers without making sure the OP was on board with the added costs. On the other hand, it sounds like the OP was aware that his trading partner was going to have to make an added extra effort to obtain the additional beers, yet apparently he didn't tell him that if the cost of obtaining those beers was too great, he shouldn't go to the trouble.

He asked for our thoughts as to what could have been done differently to avoid the misunderstanding (at least that's my interpretation of his post). That's what I've provided.

Cheers!

 

That definitely puts things in a different light. From your OP, I got the impression this all took place over a much longer time line. $4$ trade probably means the same thing for you that it does for me.

I have to admit, the more you tell us about this trade, the more puzzled I'm becoming. Why in the world was he in such a hurry, and why in the world did he go to this much trouble and expense? Especially without ever contacting you. Also... did he really initially tell you he had everything you wanted, except for one other bottle... and then fessed up that he actually had to trade in order to obtain several of the bottles on your wants list? Also... did you really tell him up front what your cost was going to be? So he knew in advance going into the trade what the $4$ allowance was for the trade? Assuming the answer is yes, that definitely puts things in a different light.

 

Assuming all the information you provided is accurate, I'm not liking the way this is starting to smell. If I were you, at the very least I'd start asking for a few explanations. What bothers me the most, is that you told him in advance what your cost was going to be to obtain the beers he wanted, and that you were expecting a $4$ exchange. A few dollars over or under is to be expected, but if there is a huge variance in your costs as opposed to his, anyone would expect their trading partner to get in touch with them first to get the OK on that.

I can't think of one good reason why someone would do something like that (not get in touch with their trading partner to get an OK on the added cost/expense). I can think of a lot of bad reasons though.

 

I think you make a lot of great points, and frankly, I think the sort of experience pwdbyhops is describing (and what you read about on the BT forum) is the exception, rather than the rule. When it comes to trading, the folks I've dealt with on BA have all been friendly and generous, and I've never had a problem with the exchange value. I've never felt like my trading partner was trying to take advantage of me, or was trying to hit me with a premium because a beer was rare, limited, or had a huge after market value.