Dark Lord (2018)

Why does all Dark Lord taste like chicken?

 

Put on my bow tie, suspenders, and fedora to enjoy the derby.

Fiancé: You look nice
Me: Thanks! Alexa! Play Wu Tang Clan
Alexa: Shuffling songs by Wu Dang Clan
Fiancé: You're an idiot

That is all

 

It is so nice outside. This is the best. I wish I had a big cup of dark lord in one hand and a tiny taster cup of friendshareliquid in the other while a generous neckbeardstranger was pouring a mysterious bottle all over my face and shirt right now.

Ah, I shouldn’t lie to you guys. I definitely would already be shirtless.

 

First we wait for the date to be announced
Then we wait for website to go up and ticket sales to be announced
Then we wait for ticket sales
Then we wait in the ticket sales queue
Then we wait for the bands to be announced
Then we wait for our tickets to arrive in the mail
Then we wait for brewpub tickets to go on sale
Then some people wait in line to buy brewpub tickets
Then we wait for the variants to be announced
Then we wait for the festival map to be released
Then we wait for the festival itself
Then we wait for our buddies who arrive late
Then we wait in line to get in the festival
Then we wait in line to get some beer on draft
Then we wait in line to get some merchandise
Then we wait in line to pickup our bottles
Then we wait in line for food
Then we wait for the headliner
Then we wait for our transportation
Then we wait (sleep) to feel like a human again
Then we wait to do it all again next year

*waiting subject to change at any time

 

Warpigs rep here doing a demo. Doesn't even know the wax color this year let alone a peep about variants.

 

Ill informed then because unless they do something different for the first time ever, wax is silver

 

My wristbands arrived today. The wristbands, unfortunately, were already attached to a severed human arm. (That’s so metal). Should I assume that this is the type of thing that guest services can take care of?

 

You will need the original owner of the disembodied arm present with you for admission. Read the fine print!

 

DAMMIT!!! That’s going to be hard to match up.

 

Maybe he knew, maybe he didn't. Just said FFF is being really tight lipped about everything.

 

That’s FFF version of the Golden Ticket.

You get to ride a boat on the river Styx with Dying Fetus while Giant bearded Norwegian men spray you with beer.


Still less terrifying than the boat ride on Willy Wonka.

 

I definitely was the “buddie who arrived late” 2 years ago. Got shit faced on whiskey and PBR the night before. Apparently my friend who was picking me up the morning of DLD was knocking on the bedroom window where I was sleeping at my moms house about 430am but to no avail. I woke up and saw the clock that read 6am. All of my friends who I was supposed to go to DLD with arrived around 5:30-6 so I had to shamefully ask my mom for a ride to DLD. Arrived around 730-8 and line cut a bunch of people so I could hang out with my group who arrived earlier (yes, I was that guy). Thanks for the ride ma!!

 

Getting dropped of by mom is so not metal. Unless you guys were blasting some metal. We need more info.

 

Two weeks from today! Who’s ready?!
*Variant and Map info coming soon.
*Subject to change.

 

You never know, in 2011 Behemoth had white wax and Dark Lord had yellow wax, but they did release an Ohio only Behemoth later that was yellow wax

 

Happy Cinco de Mayo. Hope no one is drinking fizzy yellow beer with limes.

 

Just lemon-lime and other such shandies at Hoppin Frog, minimum 7% ABV. Blueberry, pineapple coconut, mango, hot peppers, tequila, ya know...feelin good

A little BA DORIS and BORIS Royale in between never hurt anyone...

 

Hmmm I had an accidental Miller lite during my morning trip to the barbershop.

 

You know the saying. “Sun’s out, man-tits out!”

 

It’s definitely not metal and we didn’t jam anything close to metal on the way to beautiful Munster. I was shamed by it. However, when in doubt...always rely on ma! She's super cool and wasn’t doing shit that early in the morning anyway. Drove me from Oswego to Munster no prob! I was an irresponsible 31 year old back then...however 2 years later, I’m just as irresponsible