Dark Lord Day (2020)

Your announcement is Trump and Pump levels of awful.

Let this be the first shitpost of the thread!

Cheers, @Jaycase !

 

I heard the brewpub burned down and they moved the fest across the street to Centennial Park and all the hotels banned bottle shares and the variants will be in 16oz 4 packs this year except vanilla is infected but also the Town of Munster denied the event permit but the people of Munster will not stand for it leading to the second Munster Rebellion.

 

What caused the first Munster rebellion?

 

You are in for a fun read: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Münster_rebellion

 

They are moving back to choose your own variant this year. Better get that group A ticket.

 

"The city was then besieged by Franz von Waldeck, its expelled bishop. In April 1534 on Easter Sunday, Matthys, who had prophesied God's judgment to come on the wicked on that day, made a sally forth with only twelve followers, believing that he was a second Gideon, and was cut off with his entire band. He was killed, his head severed and placed on a pole for all in the city to see, and his genitals nailed to the city gate."

Ah, who can forget about Matthys' famous sally forth! Religion is quaint, isn't it?

 

To be fair it's "choose to make your own variant"...better get group A before they run out of vanilla beans and bourbon extract don't want to be left with freeze dried strawberries and sauternes extract....

 

First time attendee. Should I just bring good local stuff? I figure I’ll pick up something exclusive like double Dry hoped Goose Island now so I will have it by then because it is hard to find. Also, if I fill a camelback with mead will security give me trouble about my ounce limit?

 

First time attendee here too. Do they give me my Marshmallow Handjee case upon entry?

 

I just want them to bring back the Harlem chopped cheese.

 

I’ve heard to get the full case you need to play the game of skill where you spend a month pre-hyping the random variant you will get and then use arbitrage and market manipulation until you can trade one Turtledogg into 12 handjees.

 

Luckily, I just bought a book: "Ratios for new scumbags on the beer scene"

 

In that case, im bringing a handle of bourbon, breaking into the helicopter in the veterans memorial and blacking out. Fuck a variant.

 

The 6th edition with the foreword from the guy who specializes in moving infected beers before the infection is widely publicized? My favorite line is “the secret to success is establishing a wide network of disinformation.”

 

The only way to trade a Turtledogg involves kidnapping and copious amounts of powerful narcotics.

 

I just bring a couple bombers of Keystone Ice. Really turns whales' heads and earns me the finest pours.

 

(remembers the time I turned Turtledogg into Chemtrail)

 

meanwhile, someone is tracing the scar on their abdomen, remember the time they woke up in a bathtub full of ice with a post-it note on their forehead saying “ @croush was here “

 

I'm assuming that occurred at DLD, so it can't be ruled out.