Funny quotes from beer reviews

Sounds like it mighta been Anheuser-Busch's 8% WILD BLUE.

Gee, sure looks like Flying Dog's label artist Ralph Steadman called in sick that day.

 

You nailed it!

 

Not to point at any specific review but I always laugh seeing mediocore reviews on hype beers accompanied by an on par rating 'Not my favorite, solid beer and reflective of the style 4.5/5'
Like you're allowed to disagree with the norm, rating a popular beer poorly isn't negative points on your palette.

More frustrating is seeing some limited release from your local owner-brewer operation get a review that reads like 'Best beer I've had in some time, really solid, will be buying again 3.5/5'

 

On the contrary having a good palate makes you understand and appreciate the garbage a bit more. At the end of the day the brewers intent should be what is reviewed against. All AAL is just cheap mass marketed beer, the brewer is doing exactly what they want perfectly well to make Bud light the same beer every time for millions of barrels. That's a big fact that thousands of reviewers seem to forget when they write a review. BJCP is a good guide.

Also I didn't like micheladas at all until a year after I first tried them, now I love them. It's an acquired taste.

 

@UGADawgGuy

Oh Joy! One of these gems is in my cellar right now. And as it just so happens, I will be seeing my brother, brother-in-law, and father in a few days. Perhaps the moment has finally come to share and spread this fresh giraffe manure with the ones I love.

Just one question: Should the innocent, rest of the family be evacuated before the opening ceremony begins?

 

We, as consumers, have no possible way of knowing the brewers intent. All we can do is judge what's in front of us. Like that miserable-assed pickle beer I had yesterday: if I was going by what "the brewer intended", I'd have to give it all 5's, on the assumption (s)he wanted to produce a beer that tasted like straight pickle juice. It was a strong candidate for worst thing I've ever put in my mouth, so it did not get straight 5s.

 

I’ve seen lots of funny reviews on BA. I particularly find enjoyment in the super descriptive reviews from our users with more “nuanced” palates. I especially like seeing descriptors of “barnyard”, “hay”, “sour milk”, and “horse blanket”. I often times wonder what could be desirable about a beer that has these flavors and aromas. Cheers.

 

If you dig deep enough, descriptions become total bullshit at some point. This comes up especially with whisk(e)y. The language used becomes so over the top that it’s utter and complete bullshit. @Squire is probably well aware of to what I am referring, as there was a pretty good thread about this on straight bourbon.

 

Yes, preferably to another state.

 

Precisely why I find it to be funny. Brings to mind your thread from last week about why someone reviews. I certainly hope those folks don’t think they’re helping anyone when they use 1000 characters to describe a beer. “Chocolatey, fudgey, brownie batter, bread dough, roasted grain, toasted grain…” and the list goes on.

 

It only takes a paragraph to tell me what you like about the beer.

 

I think it was the first year that this beer was introduced (maybe it was the late 90s?) that I bought a 6-pack, and I kind of liked it. However, a heavily-fruited, sweet beer seemed to be a new concept then and I didn't think that brand would stick around, so I kept one full bottle as a collectible. I guess I was wrong about it sticking around.

 

On some of those, I'm guessing that the reviewer is imagining what that is like, as they've never been withing 100 yd of an actual horse blanket. In my experience, old-wet-dog is often a more accurate descriptor of what is present in the beer.

As for those sour/wild ales, give em a try - the descriptions are just an approximation of what's there, and the whole is better, and sometimes even awesomely better , than the sum of the parts, & how it sounds.

Ex : https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/18120/92078/

The morning after I had the beer (mid Feb., IIRC) , I walked by a field that had been covered with manure pond slurry two weeks earlier, then rained on that morning. *lightbulb moment* - THAT is what the beer smelled like when I opened it. Loved the overall taste & experience of the beer, even with that aroma.

As for the rest, it's not just, or even at all, perceptive ability - it might just be experience. I smell, and often taste, even if just to know & spit it out, anything I come across. (My own curiosity, plus, at work, I often have to describe plants to people with no experience of them, sometimes before or after they are in season, or over the phone, or via email.)

If I mention "persimmon", "pawpaw"[yeah, Beer Tree actually had an IPA that had pawpaw flavor! ] , "horehound" , etc, it's because I've experienced those flavors.

 

Whatever happened to @northyorksammy? That guy was like Barney Fife, Ed Norton, and Lenny Bruce creating a new language. I loved his reviews that I hope to God he meant to be funny.

 

That is probably the best review I have ever read.

 

AB probably offered their employees a bonus.....

 

I used to party with some northern NY folks who had him as an occasional member of their tasting group. They described him as a " regular" kind of man, not the kind of person one would suspect from reading his reviews. Doesn't he post under another name now? I must admit I haven't given it much thought for a lot of years, especially now that I don't buy beer/use reviews as buying tool.. Your comment brought it to mind, especially since I too used to get a kick out of his unintentionally comedic review style.

 

That's RB!

 

I've a new review hot off the presses for those of you who enjoy going down the rabbit hole with me on petrol station budget beers: https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/782/429187/

Happy Thanksgiving.

I think I need a nap.