Pale Ale
Neptune's Brewery

I can't really compete with Knuckles' loquatious review above, but I'll simply second it. Easily one of the worst beers I've ever had. I couldn't get down the first sip - and I can drink Bud Light when necessary.

My only hope here is that the batch I tried was somehow tainted. I'd be happy to pull my review if the brewer finds that there was a problem with the lines.

12oz picked up in Steven's recent Montana trip... my half poured into my balloon glass.

Lite gold... no head but still adequate carbonation.

Aroma is "beer".. nothing discernable. Come on... give me something.

Watery.. not much taste.. drinkable is the best compliment I can give it... big-time cardboard ... oxidized beyond compare. I am thinking about a drainpour, but I only have a few more drinks.

I've had this brew a few times before when passing through Bozeman/Livingston on the way to my fiancee's family home.... everytime!! this brew has been a horrible let-down. That being said, the brewery taps are not all that bad... but all need more body... A higher mash temp will do all their brews very well. I had their hefeweizen on tap and brought home a growler 2 summers ago, and it was a big hit at the growler party.

A: Poured a copper color with very small head, no lacing down the glass
S: Very, very little if anything at all. Slight sweet smell....possibly. Also smells of melting plastic as the beer nears the bottom of the glass.
T: Tastes like a skunky old Keystone Light with a tad more hops. Gross, just plain nasty.
M: By this point I don't think a good mouthfeel is going to make this a decent drinking beer. Nonetheless, mouthfeel is very thin and wattery.
D: I have had this before, in addition to a few other brews from Neptunes. Everything I have ever tasted has been very subpar from this place. Would not reccomend buying this beer.

So I'm standing at the Osco in Bozeman to grab some beer for the road. I have a six pack of Headstrong, a six pack of Zonker Stout and a six pack of Snake River Pale Ale in my basket when I see this beer in the cooler. I very stupidly remove the six pack of the Snake River Pale (which is an excellent, excellent beer) from my basket and replace it with this. In a cross country road trip filled with great beer karma, this is the only false move I make (and it's pretty goddam false, let me tell you).

Appearance: When I pour a pale, I expect it to be slightly orange/amber in color, and the deeper the color the better. This beer drops the ball on all counts. I want the color to be darker than the whizzes I throw after drinking coffee all morning, but this doesn't even come close. To quote Patches O'Houlihan: "I don't have to drink my own urine, but it's sterile and I like the taste." Me, I don't like to drink my own urine, but I'd take it before this beer. At least I know it's sterile.

Smell: Uh, what in the fuck is that? Some weirdass fruitiness in the nose that I really don't expect, and really don't care for. I'm going to make the assumption that it's the yeast they use, but I very much do not like it. I think there is just a faint hint of maltiness, but it's buried under the Fruit Stripe attack I'm getting at the front, and I'll be damned if I can find even the faintest hint of hops anywhere.

Taste: This is, hands down, one of the worst beers I've ever had the misfortune to taste. I have a hard time believing that this is the flavor the brewer was going for, but this is also the only sample I've got. I don't know if this thing is infected or what (it certainly isn't oxidized, as that's a flavor I'm sadly familiar with), but it is absolute crap and almost impossible to finish.

Mouthfeel: Very thin, very unsatisfying. There is really nothing about this beer that is right, and it shows here as well. This beer has all the body of Listerine, without the pleasant mediciney and minty-fresh kick. Here all I get is stank mouth and the desire to take sand paper to my tongue.

Drinkability: Bozeman is a college town (and my college town, for that matter), so I know that there are assloads of people that could drain this six pack without breaking a sweat. I, however, am not this person. A friend of mine once related a story that involved him going over to a trailer just outside of Big Timber for a party. In a bucket outside the front door of said trailer, sat a coyote head in a bucket of water. I would rather drink that water before I had another bottle of this. (I'm not engaging in hyperbole, here. I gave a bottle to FirstMan. He took one sip and almost gagged in his haste to spit it back out).

I lived in Bozeman for five years in the mid 90's, and never once heard of this brewery. Believe me, it wasn't for lack of trying, as I went out of my way to sample every Montana beer I could get my hands on. What this reminds me of, more than anything, is the crap that the Lighting Boy Brewery churned out at the same time I lived there, and until I had this, Lightning Boy was the worst Montana brewer I had ever encountered. If you are like me, and find yourself at Osco staring at the pale ale selection, resist the urge to go for the Neptune. Grab a Headstrong or a Snake River instead.

Open letter to the brewer: If this was a bad batch, send me a new bottle and I'll happily re-review. Until then, all I can do is assume that you are bottling beers from infected lines or bottling a really bad beer and foisting it upon some of the beer drinkers of Montana. If that's the case, please stop. This will be a better world if you do.

06/27/05- Purchased at Osco Drugs in Billings, MT.

Presentation- 12oz bottle with no dates. Poured into my Wyder's Cider pint glass.

Appearance- Orange-golden coloring. 1/4 inch spritzy head at first, but evaporates immediately. The lightest of lacing if any.

Smell- Most of the scent comes from some floral and fruity hops. Maybe a touch of malt.

Taste- This reminds me of a poor mans Pyramid Pale Ale. It has the same hop and yeast taste. Which IMO, is not to great. Definite fruity overtones on the hops and light malt as well.

Mouthfeel- Slightly watery and lower than expected carbonation. Almost going flat.

Drinkability- The flavor isn't too bad, but there are plenty of other good or even decent pale ales out there. This one was good enough for me. I'll have to try more of there beers when I am back in Bozeman in September. Not too impressed with the first one though.