Moscova
Ostankinskiy Drinks Plant (Останкинский Завод Напитков)

Holy fuck this is some terrible shit. Has an almost amber colored appearance, lacks any sense of head or carbonation that resembles anything you would describe as beer (maybe some janky cask brown ale I guess).

The aroma was vile. Rubbing alcohol feels. Like can I disinfect my countertops with this?

Thick mouthfeel, astringent, alcoholic taste. Seems like the diacetyl is covered up by all the other rank off flavors.

Definite bottom tier, worst pale lager I have ever had probably.

 

Woof, this one is only cool for the bottle. Actually, the appearance is all that's going for it, a little better than yellow, no head, lace etc. . . aroma was rubbing alcohol/vodka maybe? Privet!

Tastes like Russian winter, i.e. rough. Hops, no. Malt, not really, enough to make the color darker. Alcohol, yes, in the taste, way more than it should.

Cheap. It's got that going for it.

Lightly murky orange-gold with a modest number of flakes and specks (nothing scarily large though). There's some nasty stuff living on the bottom of the bottle that I'll try not to let get anywhere near my mouth. The small, cheap looking, off-white head falls rapidly to a thin film of soapy scum. Any lace? Nyet.

The nose get points for originality even if it isn't especially praiseworthy. Moscova doesn't smell anything like a Euro pale lager. Rather it smells musty and vegetable-like with a quasi-pleasant butterscotchiness that seems to be diacetyl's bastard brother. It's interesting and, most importantly, isn't off-putting.

The beer tastes almost exactly like it smells (see the paragraph above for the description if you suffer from short-term memory loss). The flavor profile makes a nod toward sweet early, but never really develops along those lines. It's isn't really bitter either, but occupies some middle ground. Things become much more butterscotchy with warming.

Moscova is the oddest tasting EPL that I've run across. In fact, I wouldn't even put it in that style grouping. It's more of a Russian amber ale that uses a Ringwood yeast variant. I keep drinking though. Not because it's good, but because it's interesting, unique, odd. I'm not sure that it was worth the $1.99 that I paid for it, but it wasn't a total loss either.

Pours a decent gold hue with a fair white head that lasted about halfway down the glass. No lace to go with it, though. The smell is sweet and fruity, with just a touch of sour. The mouthfeel is dominated by sweetness (sweetner?). The taste is sour fruit and a touch of malt. Not totally unpleasant, though. There's just a trace of hops in the finish, but the aftertaste is all fruit. This beer isn't as bad as I expected, but that's not saying much.

Amber in color. Not much of a head. Looks flat. Aroma is sweet, musty and soapy. Mouthfeel is slippery and flat. A titch syrupy with a body of about medium. The taste is a bit astringent. But also a bit cloying. Interesting mix to say the least. This is a European style pilsner? Never would have guessed it. This beer is bordering on Drain Pipe Quality, but I think it is just enough better than horrible that I'll finish it.

Now I understand why the Russians drink so much vodka.