Mons Snowflake
China Resources Snow Breweries

Mons? haha so funny. You must read it in the right way. It´s Snow.
Extra light colour, tasteless, awful beer!

 

Bland less than average fare

 

 

 

 

Scoff all you want, if you CAN, but The CANQuest (TM) is deeply indebted to boatshoes for his generous CANtribution that has taken me far too long to review. He translated it as "Mons Snowflake" and I am not going to disagree, given the differences on the CAN coupled with the lower ABV. Leave it to other wiser folks to decide the necessity for a merge.

In the meantime, all of this back and forth between Arizona and China has strained both my ship and my crew. I had hoped that a ration of beer ( http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1075/58920 ) would sustain them until we could get some Mons Pubis, but I had a near mutiny on my hands that was only quelled by a timeout for a Golden Shellback initiation as we began to cross the International Date Line for the umpteenth time and I ordered the helmsman to take us south so that we could simultaneously cross the Equator. BTW, "MONS" is "SNOW" upside down and backwards, just as "POTREZEBIE" is "CHANDLER" sideways.

From the CAN: "Brewed with an authentic professional technique to give a fresh, clean and smooth taste, which is distinctive from all others."; "Ingredients, Gravity (8.0 deg. P), Date of Minimum Durability, Storage, and Product Standard No.: GB4927 Excellent Quality"; plus a lot of Chinese characters.

I am so angry at my crew right now that I could just pop! Instead, I will indulge in my last Pop! & Glug for the foreseeable future. Geez, Louise, I CANnot remember such a quickly dissipating head! It was white and fizzy and gone before I had a chance to do anything. This beer was shaping up to be a Greg Koch special - a fizzy yellow beer. Speaking of which, its color was a light lemon-yellow with NE-quality clarity. Nose had the unmistakable grape-y quality of the worst kinds of AALs. Have the Cybermen been to China?!? OMG! Mouthfeel was surprisingly thin for all of the fizz and the taste was cheap, poorly made lager - grape, corn, blah. Boring as all get-out. For this, we crossed the Pacific, donned camo gear and scaled a mountain?!? No wonder the crew is revolting. No, check that, they have been revolting since I first recruited (ahem) the lot of them in Shanghai, but now they are engaging in open revolt, known as mutiny in my Navy. Finish was dry, bland and boring. I have built up my immunity to the point that I am not easily subsumed. I am, however, NOT impressed.

Let's get back to Arizona one last time (but not before a quick wave to Momma China, a zaftig, heavily inked exotic dancer from SWPA who I met at Papa Joes, just outside the gate from Roosevelt Roads Naval Station in Puerto Rico in 1993)!