Helles Pülleken
Brauerei C. & A. Veltins

 

 

 

330ml bottle here in Bavaria. This is what happens when a large mass production northern brewery tries to make a southern Helles. Pours a clear light yellow with a unremarkable white head. A little too bubbly for a Helles. Aroma is very strong malt like an American lager. Taste is really not as bad as expected but still far from the mark. If I would have known better I would have called it a poorly made Pils. Mouth feel is like a Pils and not a great one. Sad

Draft at Here's How. Foggy golden pour, thin silky white head. Grainy aroma, bready. Taste stays the course, grainy, biscuity. Full feel. A little bit sweet .

Bremen 21/7 2023. 33 cl small chubby bottle from Edeka Center Bremen Hastedt, Pfalzburger Strasse, Bremen. Some happy citizens carrying a beer barrel containing a Fool in a red outfit.

Pours clear yellow with a mid-sized white head. A little bit bubbly. Settles as thin but unbroken layer of foam stretching to cover the surface of the beer. Crawling up the sides of the glass. Moderate lacing.

Aroma is moderately intense with a sweet malty odor mingling with slightly salty scent and a bit of citrus. Sweet pale malts, bread and straws. Lemon. Whiff of salt water.

Medium strong carbonation. Slightly thick, watery, tingling texture.

Flavor is moderately intense with a medium strong sweetness followed by a moderately strong bitterness. Aftertaste is lightly bitter with a sweet undertone. Lingers for a bit. Finish is a bit watery.

Refreshing - but so is water.

 

 

Oh, brace yourselves for the horror show that is this so-called "beer." I'm convinced it's the lovechild of a skunk and a rusty pipe.

Upon cracking open the can, I was greeted by a scent that can only be described as a blend of regret and despair. It's like someone bottled the aroma of a musty basement and threw in a hint of wet dog for good measure.

The first sip hit me like a freight train of disappointment. I don't know what kind of water they used in the brewing process, but it must have been sourced from the municipal swimming pool. It's as if they liquefied sadness and carbonated it.

The flavor profile is a masterclass in how not to make beer. It starts with a bold note of stale bread, followed by an overpowering metallic tang that makes you question if you accidentally took a swig from the tin can instead of a glass. The aftertaste lingers on your palate like a bad joke that nobody laughed at – awkward, regrettable, and seemingly never-ending.

The mouthfeel? Let's just say it's akin to washing down a mouthful of gravel with flat soda. I've had smoother experiences eating sand at the beach.

As for the alcohol content, I'd say it's just enough to make you question your life choices but not nearly enough to make this ordeal worthwhile. You're better off chugging a bottle of vanilla extract for a more pleasant buzz.

In summary, if you enjoy torturing your taste buds and have a penchant for self-inflicted punishment, go ahead and give this beer a shot. Just make sure your health insurance is up to date, because you might need it after subjecting yourself to this liquid tragedy. Cheers to bad decisions!

 

From the bottle, it pours a clear light golden color with a modest, longer lasting white head that slowly reduces to a thin layer. The nose gets grassy hops and light malt. The taste is lightly malty with a touch of honey and a bit of spice.

Straw colour with a white head, what else do you expect from a Helles. Honey sweetness and bread dough on the nose. Another reviewer mentioned onion notes in the aroma, and while I probably would have never thought of that on my own, I can sort of see where he's coming from. Almost has a hint of one of those chicken seasoning mixes. The flavour is all about that sweet bready malt and honey. The malt lingers long into the finish, building to a crescendo like a yeast dough rising overnight. The barely-there hops character is gently herbal, recalling green kitchen herbs, oregano, parsley and the like, very subtle touch of bitterness, but the balance is definitely sweet. Goes down a treat - I've polished this 330mL bottle off in just a few swigs. Overall an interesting and deliciously sweet Helles.

 

Brauerei C. & A. Veltins “ Helles Pülleken”
,33L brown glass bottle coded “Mindestens haltbar bis: 04.03.22. 1 27 143212”. Sampled on 30.09.21
€,89 @ REWE CITY, Hohe Str. 30a, Köln

Notes: Pülleken is a slang word meaning a little bottle that looks like a pill.
Look: Clear straw gold body beneath a full head of white foam that holds well.
Smell: Slight yeast sulphur, lightly sweetish malt, and some grassiness.
Taste: Sweetish Pilsner malt dominates with little in the way of balancing hop flavors or bitterness. What I find is mainly floral and grassy, and slightly herbal. The IBUs are around 18-20.
Feel: Medium leaning towards medium-light, and gently crisp-then-smooth.
Overall: While it’s not a great helles there is a certain character to it that leaves it charming and quite drinkable. For those who enjoy a beer on the sweeter side this is a besonderem geschmackserlebnis!
Review #7,478

At Mägges during visit to Germany

L:
-pours a clear straw golden with a small to medium,foamy,white head
-low to medium carbonation visible
S:
-grainy,honey,spicy,malty,onion-y
T:
-grassy,herbal,spicy,honey,grainy
F:
-medium carbonation
-light to medium body
O:
Highly drinkable Helles.