Hoperation Veterans Inc.
Wormtown Brewery

 

 

There are a few times in history where something was so horrible, it changed history. For example, The Crusades/Inquisition, torture devices, Gitmo, mustard gas, etc. They will always be looked back upon in history and shown what man can really become if pushed too far. Beer should never fall into that category, but yet here we are.

The torture begins with bleeding of the eyes, as a putrid pond scum looking bile pours into my glass, thankfully it's not as thick as '97 Tripel Bock but looks about the same color. Even the head that tried to form was so sick of looking at itself that it ran away in tears.

From there, the festivities continue with the nose, I'll just sum it up thusly: like the dankest forest in the back alleys of New Jersey, regurgitated the crusty pine sap that had collected on every car in the city, and burnt them on the oil soaked engine block, cooking it with caramel and demon piss. That's pretty much what this smells like.

It doesn't end there, oh no! I eventually had to taste it. a big spicy pine tree air freshener burps noxious gas into my mouth, a myriad of pine sap, fresh pine needles, rotting mint, and mushrooms growning from the spent grains I threw in the woods behind my house last spring. Some caramel boiled in pond water also seems to have found it's way into this witches cauldron just before the eye of newt.

Mouth is still somehow a bit slimy, or at least my mind perceives it that way, some carbonation I think, I don't dare go back and reaffirm it.

Overall, well let's just say I'll be busy for a while planning the funeral for my tongue.

Editors note: I reviewed this specifically because I love Wormtown, almost everything they make is gold. So the fact that they actually released this artillery shell on the unsuspecting public is very hurtful and sad. I know it's supposed to help Veterans and all, but there are better ways to do that, like giving this beer to their enemies.

Picked up a 4 pack of this at the brewery. 100% of the proceeds go to a pro-veterans charity.

A - Poured into my Duvel tulip a super super murkey almost golden black. A light black? Not really brown and not really black but like someone took a golden super hazy IPA and added some drops of green, blue, and red food colouring. To be frank, the colour looks awful. Just awful. The head was a half finger off white slightly brown head that faded shockingly fast and left just a little wisps, a thin halo, and not much lacing. I mean...I guess if there was no head whatsoever this would be a straight 1 but my goodness. It really looks like mud made by a human.

S - Aromas some bitter, acrid roast, dark malts. Maybe a little bit of stale incredibly cheap imitation chocolate. Little bit of stale, old coffee too. Like, the bottom of a pot at a sketchy gas station that's been sitting on the warmer overnight. Fair amount of vegative notes as well. If I go hacking through it with a machete I find a little bit of citrus. There is some dirty earthy notes as well. Sooo, it smells like earth based mud. Yippie. Does this smell offensive? No not really. Does this smell like anything I want to drink? No not really.

T - Taste is an absolute mess. Starts of nice and citrusy, like Be Hoppy. Good orange notes. And then WHAM, melted imitation chocolate in a burnt coffee pot. It lacerates through the hops, completely ruining what was a solid IPA. The harsh roast and dark malts clash about as hard as something can clash in a beer. They make a weird vegative flavour that definitely should not be there but keeps peeking out just when things start to taste halfway to decent. The citrus comes out at the end again as if to say "hey, look over here, I was an IPA once!" but by that point my tongue has long since checked out.

M - Mouthfeel is about the only aspect of this beer that isn't a complete sham. Light, bright carbonation, little crisp and clean. That acrid roast though still manages to ruin things, and the body is a little light.

O - Overall...why? Seriously, why? I love black IPAs, practically to a fault. Style wise it can be fun as the dark malts can play off the hops (especially citrus forward ones) and make for a cool chocolate orange type of flavour profile/aroma. Not this abomination though. I expect garbage like this from some novice home brewer using one of those Mr. Brew home brew kits you can buy at Target, not from an established brewer/brewery. I would have been better off simply donating $13 and change to veterans directly. At least then I wouldn't have cans of this taking up space in my fridge. I mean, I guess this is great for gags. Give it to someone and watch their reaction type of thing. I certainly won't be sending any of this overseas. It truly is stunning how horrible this beer is, made all the more so by the fact that the bright citrus hops do poke through every now and then. I don't think this is Wormtown's first rodeo when it comes to this style, but if it is please don't ever ever make this beer again. Burn the recipe and then burn those ashes. One of the worst beers I have had in years, worse than even some of those troll beers JLindros has given me in the past. I'm going to have to call a priest to perform an exorcist on my sink. Come on guys, you're way better than this.

Serving Type: Can