Kellner Malt Liquor
Oskar Blues Grill & Brew

 

Out of curiosity, I was looking to see the reviews on this beer. Only one, so I dug through the old receipts and coasters i tend to write tasting notes on until I found this one.
Burnished gold, with just a weak collar of bubbles as it arrived in front of me. Clear and bright, but the lack of head belies what I'm getting into.
Smells sweet and readily boozy. I'm sure the good folks at OB wanted to drop the hammer with the hops, but they managed to restrain themselves. I can respect that.
The flavor is exactly what I expect when I twist off the top of a giant clear bottle in a paper bag. Really sweet and malty, very carbonated, and finishing with a hearty dollop of booze. It's a little hilarious that the good OB folks managed to capture that essence with all their brewing expertise, but I think that maybe I should only be paying $1 for a pint, and that's still expensive. I didn't hate it, but I felt like I could be having a more authentic experience in my back alley with the stray cats, and only drop $3 for the pleasure.
I haven't had a proper 40 in a while, but I don't remember much difference between this and the Private Stock I favored as a youth. Sweet, sticky and boozy. Somehow, I think I imagined more. I'm sure this is brewed by real people at a real establishment with real ingredients, but it could have just as easily been a machine lifting a 2000lb bag of corn sugar. I guess this style is simply destined for an existence of irony and despair.
Malt liquor is like a cheap date. I'm happy when it's there and I'm wallowing in my sorrow, but I always feel the acute shame the next day.

Had this one on tap at Oskar Blues Homemade Liquids and Solids up in Longmont. Pours a medium orange color with a little white head. Heavy malt aromas here, with a little earthy hop. On the palate, this one is hugely sweet, malty and alcoholic. Good carbonation, with a warming, alcoholic finish.