Vanilla Bourbon Oak
Border Brewery and Barbecue

 

On tap at the source.
Solid black color with a thin tan head on top. Big roasty light chocolate maltiness with some nice vanilla and oaked bourbon notes. Light earthiness and a touch of alcohol round this one out nicely. Pretty good stout right here.

I've been ragging on, sometimes even formally reporting, shitty BA reviews that don't actually say anything about the beer. One I saw was an obviously drunk guy who said he was waiting in a real long time in line for CBS, so obviously it deserved a 5. Another guy said "My wife loves it! Tastes like soda!" and gave it a 5. LIke, come on, guys. Some of us are taking this seriously and we would kind of like to, you know, use this site a resource that helps up pick out beers.

But this beer, this Vanilla Bourbon concotion, makes me want to write such a review. Specifically, I want to write the word "No." And maybe post a picture of a cat with a squinty face.

Pours very uneven, if that makes sense. Sometimes I've made batches of not-so-great homebrew that look okay from a certain angle but they just don't hold the light well, like there's a weird oil-and-water separation going on and the ingredients need to be shook up before they're mixed together.

It smells like sharp alcohol. Er... actually, it smells almost exactly like that highly alcoholic imitation vanilla stuff you put into cookies. Like they just dumped a bucket into the beer right before kegging. That blots everything else out.

Tastes like it smells: fake vanilla and raw ethanol. No variance, no complexity.