Simon Pils 190 Joër
Brasserie Simon

This is a limited edition version of Simon's Simon Pils. Best before: 25/09/14. 33cl aluminum bottle with black/red label and branded red pry-off pressure cap acquired at Base Camp in Prague and served into a dimpled mug at me friend's gaff in Prague. Reviewed live. Expectations are average given the country of origin (no offense to Luxembourg, but based on what I've had, they should stick to grey market cigarette sales). Cost was 49 koruna.

I haven't seen an aluminum bottle like this since I drank Ibiza Beer in Ibiza, Spain.

Served cold. Side-poured with standard vigor as undercarbonation is not anticipated.

No bubble show forms as it's poured.

HEAD: One finger wide head of white colour. Fairly thin. Retention is average - about 2 minutes. Leaves no lacing as it recedes. The complexion and consistency aren't very impressive.

BODY: Predictable translucent transparent yellow. Very basic pilsner. No yeast particulate or hop sediment is visible. Average vibrance.

Appears adequately carbonated. Not unique or special, but there are no obvious flaws here. I can't say it looks better than any other pilsner.

AROMA: Pilsner malts, straw, stale barley, and some generic floral hop character. A simple, fairly pleasant aroma of average strength.

No yeast character, alcohol, or off-notes are detectable. These aromatics are quite standard for a pilsner, but I do pick up on some faint hop oils which are interesting.

TASTE: Pils malts, straw, unevocative barley, and generic floral hop notes. Very simple and basic. One might even call it plain. I'd venture to say boring. But it's not bland; there is some flavour here, albeit the depth of flavour is below average.

Average duration and intensity of flavour. Balanced? I guess. There isn't much cohesion here, and it's certainly not a gestalt build. It also doesn't have anything of note - e.g. subtlety or nuance. Why brew this?

TEXTURE: Unrefreshing. Stale. A biteen coarse and dry, actually, which doesn't suit a pilsner. It's aptly light-bodied and isn't too thick. Nor is it syrupy, gushed, hot, boozy, astringent, or harsh. But the light roughness on the palate is unbecoming, and as a result this texture fails to complement the flavour profile well. Overcarbonated.

OVERALL: It's just a very boring middle-of-the-road pilsner and offers nothing to the discerning drinker. Downable and forgettable. If I was in Luxembourg, I'd definitely reach for Czech imports over this. The gimmicky bottle had me suspicious, and those suspicions were confirmed upon tasting. This is one you can avoid.

C-