Bonfire
From The Barrel Brewing Company

There are few times in your life that you can really troll someone. Whether it's on purpose or accidental, or egged on by others (<cough> '06 Kate <cough>), but sometimes the perfect setup just falls into your lap and you have to run with it. And I don't mean newb style Rick Rolling, that was a lame excuse for trolling. First let it be said that this was a growler picked up at the same time as the Strictly Simcoe, which was delicious... so not a growler issue as far as I can tell. Also I don't remember this tasting too bad at the brewery, but then again I had a few others in front of it and a small sample. I remember thinking that I can't wait for rudzud to try this... he loves hot pepper stuff, and hates his taste buds. So the troll chance just fell into my lap. Without further delay, here it goes.

Pours a huge creamy fluffy head, fades slowly with lots of messy lacing, super murky dark mahogany reddish brown color. Not bad so fart... I mean far. 4.25

Nose is weird, and by weird I mean vomit enducing! Very vegetal and peppery, like peppers rotting and fermenting with rye malt and herbal rye bread that was covered in some horrible regurgitated mold spore, 5 year old grain with a husky thing, rotten vegetable oil, and even band aid etc. At least there are hints of what could have been something decent. a sweet malt I thing and rye, with rotting hot pepper extract. 1.5

Taste is just... bad. I wish I had given up after the aroma, but must... complete... troll... with... straight... face... big weird vegetable oil and rye mess, fermented rye bread and reddish malts, so at least there's something. But then it goes into a tomato vegetable like thing, tears of rotting orcs seem to wash over, so much rye that the rye seemed to rot in the growler in those couple days. Plenty of pepper heat, not crazy but obvious capsaicin extract like heat, but more pepper spray capscacin that seems to have sprayed in the eyes of toads and their tears fell into this. Also I get some rust and melted bandaid, ick! Finish is massively nastificated, I think it tastes better as vomit. Long bitter finish and notes of transcending putridness. I really didn't think the taste could be worse than the aroma, but there you go! 1.25

Mouth nice carb, just right to expel the horrors more quickly into your mouth.3

So overall, not bad, if you're an Ogre! I wouldn't go as far as to say this is the worst beer I've ever had, in fact there were flashes of something that it attempted to be, but that just turned into rotting flesh and 5-year old vegetable matter. I'm really sorry FTB for this, but I don't know what happened to this beer. If I hadn't have gotten this myself, I would have thought this came right off the Jersey trash pile. I don't know how this got so bad, it's like a mutant was born inside the growler in the few days it sat in the fridge, some crazy metamorphosis. As horrible as this was, it was fun to troll... I mean... eh whos kidding, take that rudzud!!! That's for talking me into the Rare Barrel Society! 1.5

Thanks to JLindros for sharing this growler. Reviewers edit: Upon drinking this beer I retract my "Thanks for sharing" comment and instead shake my fist in a rueing motion.

A - Poured into a Kate the Great tulip a hazy copper hue with a fluffy head that leaves sticky lacing and a thin blanket 4.25 (x .05 = .213)

S - Aromas of...uh wow. What the heck happened here. Smells like rotten peppers, stale rye bread, little capsaicin. The smell is just awful, seriously, I think I need to wash my nostrils out. Bandaids and mace. Not mace in a spicy/hot/painful sense, moreso in an atrocity. I cannot write any more, because my hand shakes almost violently when I raise the glass to my nose. 1 (x .2 = .2)

T - Taste is, well, quite frankly I'm afraid to. Alright, here I go...I hate you JLindros. So, so very much. Argh. Almost as bad as the nose. This is what Dominic Greene must have felt like after having been forced to drink motor oil in Quantum of Solace. JLindros: "This tastes like rust" Me: "As a geologist I've eaten rust before...That is an insult to rust!". Seriously, this beer is disgusting. Rotten vegetables galore, the very bad kind...You know, the level of rotten food that caused peasants to revolt in France. Or colonist to be tarred and feathered. Or people in the 1800's to be sent to penal colonies in Australia. Or Mao Yenrai to shed tears of scarlet. "If...Spike were here...you would never...have done this..." Moldy rye bread, covered in black mold mind you not glorious penicillin. Actually, now that I think about it I should probably take some penicillin after I drink this beer. The peppers, instead of offering their fruity heat partake in a glorious "bear mace to the tonsils" type nonsense. It's that good! The ONLY reason why this is not a 1 on taste is I occasionally get a severely underwhelming generic 'beer' taste that one can only presume is cowering in fear from all the hideous off flavours in this beer. 1.25 (x .45 = .563)

M - Mouthfeel is on the lighter side, I think. I daren't take another sip. 3 (x .1 = .3)

O - Overall this beer was absurdly awful. I love ghost chilis (so it's not a case of "oooo you can't handle a beer with habaneros in it") and I can handle heat, but this is using mace as breathe spray. It's not too hot, more astringent bitterness and rotten vegetable. I feel like Jared's trolled me though instead of laughing manically in the background he is sharing in this horrific abomination of a beer. This will surely be spring cleaning for my body. Congratulations on this awful beer...if I was in a living situation and this was the only beer I could drink, I would never drink again. 1 (x .2 = .2)

Total Rating Score: 1.48
Serving Type: Growler