Privyet Russian Imperial Stout With Vanilla
DESTIHL Brewery

 

On tap at the Destihl Brewpub in Champaign. ~8oz snifter.

Motor oil doesn't begin to capture this beer's appearance. It's got more in common with tree sap than water and makes black holes look like living suns. Mysterious. Ominous. What's about to happen to my mouth?

If you dare to inhale, your nostrils will be kicked in the face with a huge hit of vanilla bean. If you are a big fan of vanilla, please ensure you're amongst people you trust, because there is a very real possibility one of two things may happen upon smelling this beer: 1) You may orgasm. Until smelling this beer, I thought the whole idea of calling something 'orgasmic' was just a [bad] joke. I now believe it's a valid adjective, because almost all of the same pleasure centers in the brain can be tripped with the right sensory overload. And 2) Similarly, you may have a hard time controlling your muscles when smelling this and [nearly] drop the glass.

The taste somehow lives up to that nose. Thick. Smooth. Just the right amount of creaminess & sweetness. Completely unbalanced in the best possible way. This is vanilla syrup. Alcoholic vanilla syrup. But instead of a grotesque amount of sugar, there's a wonderful malt backbone. The roastiness I attribute to a RIS is fairly subtle, but blends-in perfectly. And that vanilla does not seem at all fake to me. I legitimately would choose a glass of this over 90% of desserts in the world. In a word: delicious.

I love stouts. I love vanilla. I'm pretty sure whoever crafted this masterpiece has the same taste buds as me. There's no way you will enjoy this beer as much as I did. But as it stands, this is easily in the top 1% of beers I've ever had.