Axe Head Fruit Punch
Minhas Craft Brewery

Axe Head Fruit PunchAxe Head Fruit Punch
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Beer Geek Stats:
American Malt Liquor
Needs more ratings
1.43 | pDev: 0%
Minhas Craft Brewery
Wisconsin, United States
Axe Head Fruit PunchAxe Head Fruit Punch
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Reviews: 2
Photo of ThisWangsChung
1.85/5  rDev +29.4%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 1.5 | overall: 1.5

24 oz can into a teku glass. *sigh* Why do I do this to myself?

Appearance: Pours a radioactive-looking FD&C Red 40 color. The clarity and sheen are frankly amazing - I have to give SOME credit where it's due. No head here. None at all, but at least there are some alcohol legs. It looks like a glass of carcinogenic Kool-Aid... (2)

Smell: ...and SMELLS like a glass of carcinogenic Kool-Aid. It does smell like fruit punch - just a cheap, artificial fruit punch. Still, the 12% alcohol is suitably smothered. (2)

Taste: The initial flavor is Kool-Aid. The finishing flavor is fusel-y gasoline. Much like regular Axe Head, it's horrendousness doesn't hit me on first sip. Actually...come to think of it, it never hits me as being flat-out horrendous. Bad? Absolutely. Worse than 95% of all craft beer on the market? Oh yes. To be fair, this isn't really beer to me, this is a friggen' wine cooler. But after a few sips, some cereal grain, diacetyl, and caramel appears on the aftertaste. Still, the only offensive quality about this is how damn sugary sweet it is - compared to the horrifying experience that regular Axe Head was, that's somewhat of a pittance. (2)

Mouthfeel: Light in body, and boozy. I just feel my tongue being coated with sugar, and my esophagus being coated with alcohol. This is a winter warmer, that's for damn sure. Carbonation isn't very strong, allowing the sweetness to choke the palate almost completely. (1.5)

Overall: Y'know, if you happen to drink Arbor Mist, you may not hate this...the only agony this brew brought came via next morning's wretched hangover - actually finishing this was a doable prospect (if not a pleasurable one). The aforementioned artificial messiness makes this somewhat of an improvement over regular Axe Head. Only winos and Arbor Mist aficionados need apply; everyone else should run from this like the plague. (1.5)

1.85/5: Just like Arbor Mist with a 75% nastier hangover!

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Photo of woodychandler
1/5  rDev -30.1%
look: 1 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

I bought this (and several other gems) at a seedy neighborhood store in northeast Philly, not far from the Frankford Terminal Center. I was on my way back from a Grey Lodge event and I was curious to see what I could see. This was being passed up by the junkies and alkies, so I knew I had to have it for The CANQuest (TM)!

From the CAN: "Contains Alcohol"; "Contains Schisandra Berry & Damiana Leaf Extracts"; "Union Made".

The Crack! unleashed a spritz of a liquid of clearly unnatural origins. I gave it a quick Glug to get this debacle started as I felt my human body once again transforming into that of a Cyberperson. I had a quick finger of fizzy, pink head with about as much retention as you might get with a CAN of pop. Color was a CANdy-like reddish-pink (SRM = N/A) with NE-quality clarity. Nose smelled like a cross between raspberry Kool-Aid and Jolly Ranchers. Thankfully, since most vestiges of my humanity had been stripped away after years of drinking products from the Minhas Craft Brewery, this did not bother me in the least. Mouthfeel was thin and watery. The first thing to register was the high fusel alcohol heat! Phew! This might have an effect on even The Cyberleader who is not known for having many weaknesses. I still question how human beings CAN drink these things, but clearly, humans were NOT their intended audience (or at least I hope not). Once my cooling jets activated and I was able to register actual taste as opposed to heat, I got a melange of fruity CANdy-like flavors that was so sugary that I wondered what it might do to a human with diabetes. It would probably throw that person into diabetic shock! I was shocked that they produce and sell such a beverage. I CANtinued to work my way through this monstrosity, feeling circuitry and other important CANnections short out as I did so. The finish left a burning reminder of the path of my once-human gullet as I rebooted my circulatory system to be able to do something productive.

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Axe Head Fruit Punch from Minhas Craft Brewery
Beer rating: 1.43 out of 5 with 2 ratings