Velvet Puma
Minhas Craft Brewery

Velvet PumaVelvet Puma
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Beer Geek Stats:
Style:
American Malt Liquor
ABV:
7%
Score:
Needs more ratings
Avg:
1 | pDev: 0%
Reviews:
1
Ratings:
1
From:
Minhas Craft Brewery
 
Wisconsin, United States
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Rotating
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Velvet PumaVelvet Puma
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View: Beers | Events
Reviews: 1
Photo of woodychandler
1/5  rDev 0%
look: 1 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

Why, oh why, must Ravinder & Manjit MInhas & their so-called craft brewery be such a pain in my side, courtesy of The CANQuest (tm)? Theirs is a breeding ground for Cybermen & Cyberfuel since NOTHING that they produce is fit for human CANsumption. I CANnot resist a new CAN for The CANQuest (tm), though, making me a target for their insidious plans & machinations. Grr.

From the CAN: "Malt Beverage with Natural Flavor and Caramel Color"; "All trademarks and designs are the property of Mountain Crest SRL".

Okay, first, Minhas Craft Brewery does NOT know the meaning of the word "Natural", so WTF is that?!? SeCANd, yes, because who else would want to be associated with any of it?!?

I beCAN by Crack!ing open the vent on this massive 24-fl. oz. CAN o' joy. Does anyone else openly weep when they Crack! open a CAN of beer? These guys just make me sad. 8=( I had no idea what to expect, as the "beer's" first reviewer & rater, but I CAN assure you that I was NOT expecting what I saw! It came rushing forth to produce a fizzy, foamy, off-white head like that of soda pop, only to quickly dissipate into wisps. Color was Clear-Pale (SRM = 0 - 1) with NE-plus quality clarity. I once CANtemplated becoming a hairdresser, especially during the teased & tormented 1980s when seemingly everyone wanted a spiky, tousled punk look. Why do I mention this? Do you know what the shade Champagne" refers to? This beverage was THAT color! What in the highest name of Ball/Crown/Rexam does this have to do with either Velvet or Panthers!Both suggest "Black" & yet this was a clear liquid of highly-dubious origin! The nose smelled of rotting apples, almost to the point of vinegar. 8=O They may have outdone themselves with this gem! Mouthfeel was thin & watery & I may as well have been drinking fizzy pop. 8=( The taste was as unnatural as I have enCANtered with a slightly apple-like flavor amid a haze of dry cleaning solvent & a CANbination of pink bubble gum & cotton CANdy. 8=p My numbers are going to seem like a joke, but the real joke is on me for having fallen yet again for this kind of rubbish! Heck, it even stopped The Cybermen in their tracks as they came tramping up my alleyway. Unfit for human CANsumption? Unfit for cybernetic units! This was filth! The CAN's beautiful graphics were the best thing about it. Finish was in that grey area between semi-sweet & semi-dry. I think that you re going to have to take my word for it as I would not reCANmend this trash to even my worst enemies. 8=p Is your gag reflex supposed to kick in like this?!? Ugh. Beyond "Poor".

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Velvet Puma from Minhas Craft Brewery
Beer rating: 1 out of 5 with 1 ratings