Joose Somm
Armistice Brewing Company

You're a discerning craft beer drinker. You're in several beer clubs, bottle shares, and less-than-legal interstate beer trades. You have every badge on Untappd, including unreleased badges such as the forthcoming Kvass RYEot badge and Roamin' in Romania badge (and yes, you've enabled retroactive badges, so you'll get credit for styles you've already explored). But you've been stuck at level 100 on the Haze for Days badge for, well, days. In fact, you're putting your activist energy towards raising the maximum level of badges to 1000. Good for you. You know how to make hazy IPAs glow for your Untappd photos and for the IG account that's exclusively for beer pics and #ISOs. You love the nose of these juice bombs. You're pretty sure you can tell the difference between Citra, Ekuanot, Rakau, and Simcoe, all of which are present in this specimen. You're over Cascade. You're a sommelier of juice. You're not a Cicerone. You're not even a Certified Beer Server. And you've never heard of the BJCP. It doesn't matter. You're an expert. You're a Joose Somm.