Hydra Hostility
Ill Will Brewing

 

I'm not a fan of cantaloupe. YMMV.

The can is supple and pliable in a way I'm not used to, indicating a lack of pressure or perhaps an underfill. However, this shit pours thicker than kafir yogurt out of the can, leaving me absolutely stunned that they are able to actually can it in the first place. And in keeping with the yogurt theme, it has the off-white eggshell hue of vanilla flavored, unlike anything I've ever seen in a glass before.

This is without a doubt the thickest beer I've ever had out of a can, and in the age of 450 North becoming commonplace, that's saying something. Watching them struggle to fill growlers early on was one thing, but this is a whole other feat. At the same time, this explains why the can felt the way it did--I don't think the carbonation can penetrate through such density.

All that having been said, the cantaloupe is actually more expressive than I've had in pretty much any other application of the fruit elsewhere. It's really very floral and even botanically fragrant. It's the dominant force here, aside from the banana's thickening element. The banana does contribute a little flavor as well, while the pineapple perhaps lifts up the cantaloupe while cutting through the nearly gelatinous gooeyness without adding a distinct character.

No, I absolutely can not find a single semblance of beer quality within this libation, and this is after years of exposure to the insane smoothie concoctions that breweries like The Answer, Drekker, Rar, Mortalis, Smooj, and others sling around. Yet, it is admittedly an enjoyable treat, though not something I can really quaff. For me, it's more suitable as a dessert, or maybe breakfast, as in a literal food dish, not a drink.