5 3/4 Bears Oatmeal Stout
Alley Kat Brewing Company

1L howler from Wine & Beyond Southgate in Edmonton (and yet not available chez Alley Kat, for some stupid reason), which is one of the weirder distribution vectors for this oldest and most venerable of YEG craft brewers, and at the outset, it fucking sucks, IMHO.

This beer pours a solid black abyss, with rather scant red cola basal edges, and three fingers of puffy, rocky, and silken brown head, which leaves some dissolving sudsy mesa-esque lace around the glass as it genially subsides.

It smells of gritty and grainy caramel malt, a free-range roastiness, bittersweet cocoa powder, subtle cafe-au-lait, earthy anise spice, a touch of dark orchard fruitiness, and some faint leafy, weedy, and musky floral green hop bitters. The taste is bready and doughy caramel malt, toasty hot chocolate, slightly soured milk, day-old coffee grounds, earthy black licorice, a touch of yer kid's morning porridge, and some still well, well understated earthy, musty, and floral 'verdant' hoppiness.

The carbonation is fairly tactful in its stolid frothiness, the body a decent medium weight, and mostly smooth, but for a wee smoky acridity that takes things down a notch or so, even given the burgeoning oat-driven creaminess. It finishes trending dry, the roasted essence lording it over the lingering malt, cocoa, coffee, and milky notes.

Overall - yeah, I'm not certain about the math skills inherent in this particular operation any more, but we've gone from halves to quarters to who the hell knows since the original incarnation of the Three Bears Oatmeal Stout. If my suspicion is correct, the newer names refer to ABV, but that makes no bloody sense for the original brew. You see why I'm not talking about the actual virtues of this tasty oatmeal stout anymore, right? Wow, hipster or millennial marketing at its 'finest'.