Darklord Day 2017

This conversation reminds me of this: https://g.co/kgs/VJs9WP

 

Umm, if this conversation reminds you of something at that link, there is NO WAY I'm clicking on that while at work!

 

Getting close to a month out....

 

1st post. Excited for DLD!

 

I get first dibs on VIP for the show!
#BackStagePass

 

Word on the streets is that Fetus Banger will be opening for Dragon Abortion on this upcoming tour.

 

They are co-headlining. Opener is Uterine Genocide.

 

I'm just disappointed they didn't ask Womb Tomb to play.

 

Any change the backstage passes will be barrel aged this year? If so, count me in!

 

Fine, here are the lyrics. Just not as funny without Brian Posehn on the mic.

VERSE 1:
They’ve killed METAL twice, but it will never really die!
It’s kind of like a zombie or even that Jesus guy…

So grab your friends, some instruments and start a metal band
Just sing about death, Egypt and wizards or rip off Ayn Rand

We’re coming to the end of the first verse…
Then comes the breakdown, a pretty chorus and then the second verse.

I know I just rhymed verse with verse
That’s because I’m sooo METAL, bitch, where’s your fucking purse?

PRE-CHORUS(BREAKDOWN):

BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight…
BREAKDOWN!!! Don’t be scared, the chorus will make it all alright

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a baby could do it, just give it a try
Just sound like Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

SECOND VERSE:

I have to change my voice to make me sound (gang) MAD!
If I tried to sing clean it would make your ears (gang) SAD!

This is the (gang) GANG VOCAL and I’ll tell you the (gang) TRUTH!
It’s four sweaty dudes yelling in a (gang) BOOTH!

Music really sucks now Posers and trendy FOOLS
But compared to Coldplay and Nelly, EVEN SHITTY METAL RULES!
It’s metal by numbers, it’s not arithmetic
John Mayer, Kelly Clarkson…they all can suck my PENIS!

PRE-CHORUS(BREAKDOWN):

BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight…
BREAKDOWN!!! Don’t be scared, the chorus will make it all alright

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a monkey could do it, just give it a try
Copy Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

MOSH PART:
(BUILD UP)
Here it comes! C’mon! All Right!
ARE YOU ALMOST READY??
Dammit! I missed it!

(SPOKEN) This is the mosh part! MOSH!!!
Or don’t. It’s your call. I'm too old for it. I just stand in the back and try not to get hit. Watch out for the shirtless white trash guys. They’ll punch you and they stink. And look out for the screamo kids trying out their karate kicks. Dude, you look gaytarded. And look out for the giant Mexican guy, he looks really pissed. I wish everybody would put their shirts back on, it’s kind of gross. Is this part still going? Here comes the lead break…Oh, not yet. Here it comes… here it comes. GO!

SOLO(Jon Donais)

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE!
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a ****** could do it, JUST GIVE IT A TRY!
Steal from Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

 

Is there a bottle share list for Hampton Inn Munster

 

Try here...
https://www.beeradvocate.com/commun...17-ip-trade-bottle-share-spreadsheets.499731/
The links are at the top of the page.

 

Holy Fuck is really good. And not metal

 

Long time lurking, first time posting! Honestly thank you everyone for laughs and great information.

So far this is it on the list between my gf and I:

1. Big Bad Baptista | Epic
2. Convenient Distraction | O'so
3. Pentagram | Surly
4. Old Rasputin Barrel Aged XIX | North Coast
5. Big Bad Baptist | Epic
6. Tweak | Avery
7. 2015 Bourbon County Brand Stout | Goose Island
8. 2016 Bourbon County Brand Stout | Goose Island
9. 2016 Bourbon County Brand Barleywine | Goose Island
10. Goliat | To Øl
11. 2015 The Abyss | Deschutes
12. 2016 Barrel Roll No. 3 Pugachev's Cobra | Hangar 24
13. Java Cask | Victory
14. Arctic Devil Barley Wine | Midnight Sun

 

Dying Fetus at DLD would be fucking brutal.

 

True, they're tons of fun live, but with your avatar, I'd have guessed you'd prefer Gorgoroth...

 

Never in a million years would Gorgoroth play DLD, but could you imagine the complaints on this forum after the event if they did? Would be incredible!
"Dead animals on stage is to much, I was absolutely disgusted and couldn't enjoy my Handjee"

 

All this talk of dying fetus just makes me think of the pregnant woman I know that's going to dld.

 

these band names are unreal

 

Don't worry, they'll all be FFF collabs soon enough.