A poem for your enjoyment

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by Troutbeerbum, Aug 12, 2018.

  1. Beer_Economicus

    Beer_Economicus Devotee (402) Apr 8, 2017 Indiana
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    I am not normally that guy, but...

    That was aweful. Really.
     
  2. TheIPAHunter

    TheIPAHunter Poo-Bah (1,589) Aug 12, 2007 Pennsylvania
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    As an emcee, I feel qualified to jump in here. What type of stanza were you looking for? The traditional a-b a-b, or otherwise? I feel like I took my rhyming ability to the next level when I started to read the romantic period of poetry.

    I'm not saying it's great, but I respect the format. I get the sense that, perhaps, you might not be all that familiar with traditional poetry.

    Peace to the OP.

    "I establish parameters, through iambic pentameter."
     
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  3. Troutbeerbum

    Troutbeerbum Initiate (91) Dec 5, 2016 Maine

    I had heard a quote from that poem many years ago. For some reason it came to mind, and through the power of the internet I found it. Posted it purely because of the subject matter.
     
  4. Beer_Economicus

    Beer_Economicus Devotee (402) Apr 8, 2017 Indiana
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    It's not about form. I am a fan of Poetry and familiar with many poetry styles. The writing is just bad IMO.

    It's like when Twain or Shakespeare have a character write a poem in their work and it is pourposefully bad. That's how I see this.
     
  5. TheIPAHunter

    TheIPAHunter Poo-Bah (1,589) Aug 12, 2007 Pennsylvania
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    I respect your opinion. Cheers.
     
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  6. Mothergoose03

    Mothergoose03 Poo-Bah (2,277) May 30, 2005 Michigan
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    Of poetry I am not a fan,
    and I still ain't.
     
  7. rronin

    rronin Initiate (177) Jul 4, 2005 Washington

    It's very much of it's era. It ain't great poetry but it spoke to me (I coulld picture a Victorian gent, puffing on a stogie while sipping a cold one) and I liked it!
     
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  8. smbslt

    smbslt Champion (812) Dec 26, 2010 Illinois
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    Yikes! I reacted.
    Of poetry I know not.
    This is not helping.
     
  9. zid

    zid Champion (879) Feb 15, 2010 New York

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  10. Shanex

    Shanex Champion (833) Dec 10, 2015 France
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    Curiously, I like words, rhymes and puns but poetry has never done it for me.

    Cheers.
     
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  11. TheIPAHunter

    TheIPAHunter Poo-Bah (1,589) Aug 12, 2007 Pennsylvania
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    Thank you. It wasn't meant to be anything greater.
     
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  12. Troutbeerbum

    Troutbeerbum Initiate (91) Dec 5, 2016 Maine

    While we’re on poetry, I want to segway into literature a little.... I’m a huge Steinbeck fan, Cannery Row being my favorite book. This poem brings to mind a Mac, Eddie, and the rest of the boys at the Palace Flophouse.
     
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  13. Lahey

    Lahey Disciple (327) Nov 12, 2016 Michigan

    It lost me for a bit, but the last few lines were kinda dope. Good on them for mentioning nut brown ale in the poem!
     
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  14. dcotom

    dcotom Poo-Bah (1,971) Aug 4, 2014 Iowa
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    I like it. Expressing such deep thoughts with a few well-chosen words is a true art form. As far as the construction goes, it reminds me a great deal of the hymn "Love Unknown." It flows smoothly despite the terse phrasing. Besides, it describes perfectly what I am doing right now. (Except for the cigar.)

    De gustibus and all that.
     
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  15. Troutbeerbum

    Troutbeerbum Initiate (91) Dec 5, 2016 Maine

    Segue, not Segway.
     
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  16. SammyJaxxxx

    SammyJaxxxx Poo-Bah (2,205) Feb 23, 2012 New Jersey
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    That was so bad, it hurt my soul when I read it.
     
  17. beertunes

    beertunes Poo-Bah (5,434) Sep 24, 2007 Washington
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    I thought one was required to relinquish ones soul when one accepts a position in your field? :wink:


    Poims versus haiku is
    An interesting type of
    Comparison of chat
     
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  18. cavedave

    cavedave Poo-Bah (2,427) Mar 12, 2009 New York
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    I don't claim the skill of a Poe or a Thackeray
    But I can tell you for certain that poem was hackery.
     
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  19. Ahonky

    Ahonky Initiate (108) Feb 13, 2018 New York

    I actually found that to be a well constructed poem.
     
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  20. rgordon

    rgordon Champion (844) Apr 26, 2012 North Carolina

    I am a life long student of poetry and a practitioner on occasion.
    I read and appreciate all kinds of work. Charles Bukowski, Ted Hughes, Theodore Roethke, Thom Gunn, Gary Snyder, William Wordsworth, George Gordon (Lord Byron), and just so many more. This piece doesn't bother me, it's well written and highly contrived. That's OK.
    The poem does remind me of a classic English folk song, John Barleycorn Must Die, most famously done by Traffic with Steve Winwood on ethereal vocals. It is the nut brown bowl reference that keeps popping up.
     
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  21. JayORear

    JayORear Savant (999) Feb 22, 2012 New York
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    Mr. Arnold, I've served with poets. I know poets. Poets are friends of mine. Mr. Arnold, you're no poet.
     
  22. rgordon

    rgordon Champion (844) Apr 26, 2012 North Carolina

    Ah, Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle. The greatest put down I've ever seen! I wish Hillary Clinton had told Trump to get the hell away from behind her in that debate. She surely would have won. He was really creepy.
     
  23. nw2571

    nw2571 Initiate (31) Feb 26, 2017 Indiana

    I once had a can from Nantucket....

    Nevermind. You guys are all critics.
     
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  24. rgordon

    rgordon Champion (844) Apr 26, 2012 North Carolina

    That was part of a dozen in a bucket.
     
  25. beergoot

    beergoot Poo-Bah (4,031) Oct 11, 2010 Colorado
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    Christ, give me some Bukowski sensibility (and a cleansing shot of whiskey)...
     
    #26 beergoot, Aug 26, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2018
  26. cavedave

    cavedave Poo-Bah (2,427) Mar 12, 2009 New York
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    When last one was gone
    Still my thirst carried on.
    I saw one of yours, and I snuck it.
     
  27. spicoli00

    spicoli00 Zealot (584) Jul 6, 2005 Indiana

    without analyzing too deeply...the structure is supposed to mimic the lacing in a glass.

    related to these lines:
    So, if I gulp my sorrows down,
    Or see them drown
    In foamy draughts of old nut-brown,
    Then do I wear the crown,
    Without the cross!

    the crown he wears is him tipping back his head to chug the beer and the glass is the like a crown.
     
  28. cavedave

    cavedave Poo-Bah (2,427) Mar 12, 2009 New York
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    While I am not an emcee, I have been writing poetry as an amateur for fifty years, so take my criticisms for what they're worth.

    The rhymes were forced by making unnatural groupings of words, and the words themselves seem poorly chosen, such as in this sentence, in which graceful describes the smoke and free describes the cigar. It is incongruous.

    "The graceful smoke-wreaths of this free cigar! "

    Really? No word(s) came to this guy to complete the image so well started with the word graceful? The whole poem suffers this same malady.

    It strikes me as something written quickly, and likely while a bit drunk, and not given a suitable look over and re-write before declaring it completed.
     
  29. JohnnyChicago

    JohnnyChicago Crusader (793) Sep 3, 2010 Illinois

    Here’s a poem my 3 year old came up with yesterday:

    Untitled
    (note: I asked him if it had a name and he said, “no”, so the title might actually be ‘No’)

    Dad’s makin’ beer
    We’re drinkin’ beer
    Take ‘em all
    Five-forty


    Of note: “Take ‘em all” is a clear reference to one of his favorite songs; “Five-forty” is just a number he likes for some reason.

    Way better than the other one...

    Suck it, George Arnold!
     
  30. rgordon

    rgordon Champion (844) Apr 26, 2012 North Carolina

    I drank my first beer with my grandfather
    he comes to me in dreams....
    like the cowboy he was
    he tells me about things that used to be
    and how to remember all of the quiet things
    I tell his story everyday
     
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  31. nw2571

    nw2571 Initiate (31) Feb 26, 2017 Indiana

    The summer heat warms
    bubbles in my glass arise
    Oktoberfest now?

    Written while enjoying a marzen in August....
     
  32. TheIPAHunter

    TheIPAHunter Poo-Bah (1,589) Aug 12, 2007 Pennsylvania
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    I don't think I ever said it was great. I was just trying to defend the guy from unnecessary criticism.
     
  33. SudsDoctor

    SudsDoctor Devotee (499) Nov 23, 2008 New York
    Premium

    A wordsmith I'm not
    I'll lift a glass, not a pen
    An Alesmith will do
     
  34. cavedave

    cavedave Poo-Bah (2,427) Mar 12, 2009 New York
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    Since he's dead all criticism, and praise too, is unnecessary :grin:
     
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  35. Lahey

    Lahey Disciple (327) Nov 12, 2016 Michigan

    I sit at work, going berserk.
    Reading of beer, yet I'm stuck here.
    Oh to sit in my chair, watching the game
    Drinking a beer while my lions play lame.
    My only intentions on football sunday
    Drinking ale, eating food and wasting away.

    As you can tell, I'm ready for the season to start.
     
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  36. TheIPAHunter

    TheIPAHunter Poo-Bah (1,589) Aug 12, 2007 Pennsylvania
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    You're a bad MF. You know that? I hold you in high regard, obviously. Cheers, sir!
     
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  37. cavedave

    cavedave Poo-Bah (2,427) Mar 12, 2009 New York
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    Right back atcha. Cheers to you, sir!