advice on communication issues

Discussion in 'Trade Talk' started by danh53, Jul 8, 2015.

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  1. danh53

    danh53 Initiate (0) Dec 28, 2014 Florida

    Friday 7/26: I agreed to a trade. Partner wanted to hold off shipping because he would be out of town the following Tuesday and "for the rest of the week."

    Saturday 7/4: I send him my address and ask him to send me his so I can get package ready to ship on Monday.

    Monday 7/6: Still haven't heard from him so I give up on that trade and negotiate another deal to get the beer I am looking for.

    Tuesday 7/7: He responds back and still wants to do the trade.

    I'm out of town now so nothing will be sent until Monday. Would you still honor this trade?
  2. JavaNoire

    JavaNoire Initiate (0) Dec 4, 2010 Iowa

    If it's a trade I'm interested in doing, absolutely. If it's a trade I committed to, then yes, definitely. If.I hadn't committed to it & was no longer interested I'd simply convey that message.
  3. evilcatfish

    evilcatfish Defender (619) May 11, 2012 Missouri

    Doesn't sound like a trade request was sent/accepted so I'd go with the other trade you mentioned if the other individual seemed more interested
  4. pagriley

    pagriley Meyvn (1,032) Oct 27, 2014 Illinois

    I would have a pretty bad vibe unless the reasons for not communicating were clear. They mention being out of town - perhaps they didn't have their computer with them?

    Either way, if the trade is in the system I would honor it. If it wasn't finalized and accepted I would say that since I didn't hear from them in a week I arranged something else.
  5. NickWebster87

    NickWebster87 Initiate (0) Jul 30, 2014 Massachusetts

    If the trade request wasn't sent and/or accepted I'd say its fine to move on otherwise I would honor the original trade.
  6. ResIpsaLoquitur

    ResIpsaLoquitur Defender (622) Feb 28, 2010 New York

    Ok, so I'm going against 2hat seems to be the prevailing opinion here.

    He told you he be out of town the rest of the week, which to me brings us to the following Monday morning. He responds to you on Tuesday.......I see nothing unusual or out of line about this.

    Was a trade request sent and accepted? If so you back out, you're a bad trader.

    No request sent and accepted? I still see no acceptable reason to back out of this.

    Maybe I'm wrong, but the vibe I'm getting is you're just looking for an excuse to get out of the trade
    JArt, mxracercam, rightcoast7 and 3 others like this.
  7. jrnyc

    jrnyc Meyvn (1,169) Mar 21, 2010 New York

    I am with you on this one. As I have said before, sometimes these threads end up "exposing" the OP more than they do the person being called out.
  8. pagriley

    pagriley Meyvn (1,032) Oct 27, 2014 Illinois

    @TheVicster @jrnyc perhaps a bit premature? The OP isn't 'calling out' anyone just asking for advice.

    I am making no judgments on the communication level of both traders; it could have been bad from both sides, just the OP or just the other guy.

    For me personally, if a potential trade partner wanted to hold off on shipping a week that would be fine, but I would ask to finalize the trade, agree to a shipping date, exchange addresses and accept the trade before they left for their vacation.

    If that didn't happen (which it sounds like it didn't) then there really isn't an agreed trade - for me personally, you aren't 'backing out' of anything until all the details are accepted and agreed.
    KSOZE and JavaNoire like this.
  9. core42

    core42 Zealot (556) May 5, 2010 Michigan

    This is my feeling as well; lets have some understanding that people have lives outside of BA especially when we are talking about sending a message on a major holiday.
    Maybe you didn't do much on the 4th or maybe you got a message out before partying but either way he responded 2 days later & may have had huge plans for the 4th.
    My thought is that you agreed to the trade & agreed to delay so you should follow through with the trade when you are able to
    rightcoast7 likes this.
  10. JavaNoire

    JavaNoire Initiate (0) Dec 4, 2010 Iowa

    It's not clear that he ever actually agreed to the trade. If details weren't worked out that were acceptable to both then there was no final agreement. If the details were worked out & acceptable to both then a trade request should have been agreed to by both parties. If a trade request was accepted he needs to proceed with that trade or he's a bad trader.
    KSOZE likes this.
  11. mikevanatta

    mikevanatta Initiate (0) Sep 29, 2014 Minnesota

    So someone wasn't available to reply over a holiday weekend during which he told you he'd be out of town? Hold on, I'll call CNN, you get the Better Business Bureau on the phone.

    Seriously though, if he read the message and didn't reply, that's one thing. If he plain wasn't on the site for a few days, that's called having a normal human life outside of the internet. I understand the expectations you had to ship Monday but what's the harm in getting the box ready based on the assumption that the trade was still on since you hadn't heard otherwise? I can't imagine nuking a trade for this.
    rightcoast7 likes this.
  12. rightcoast7

    rightcoast7 Disciple (385) Apr 2, 2011 Maine

    Agree with @TheVicster on this one. From the OP, sounds like the trade was finalized ("I agreed to a trade"), and it was understood that shipping wouldn't happen during the entire next week. To me, that means shipping Monday 7/6 at the earliest. It seems unfair to bail on the deal, which was agreed to not just being worked out, just because the guy doesn't respond for 48 hours over a holiday weekend. If he definitively agreed to the trade, I don't see why you would assume he had changed his mind.

    On the other hand, it would have been wise for both parties to send/accept a trade request prior to the week long break, so I don't think it's cause for outrage for OP to move on, but it does seem premature. The better practice IMO would be to do the original deal.
    jrnyc and mxracercam like this.
  13. mxracercam

    mxracercam Disciple (325) Jan 14, 2014 Pennsylvania

    ISO: your time machine. either that or you waited a year, which after a year, yeah, i'd move on too.


    in all seriousness, there's no reason for you to bail on the guy when he was upfront about being out of town.
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