Area Man Cellars Beer For Two-Plus Years, Thinks Maybe It Tasted Better Fresh

Discussion in 'Great Lakes' started by summitbeer, Dec 28, 2018.

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  1. summitbeer

    summitbeer Devotee (365) Feb 6, 2013 Minnesota

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    ST. PAUL, MN—Bryan Walters, 30, has a basement full of old beer. With a collection of cans and bottles numbering in the “low-dozens,” the local human resources professional has beer ranging in age from 12 months to five years — all unopened and long since expired.

    Stored upright on custom-built heavy-duty shelves that some handyman named Todd mounted to the cement-block wall, sources confirmed Thursday that the beer remains in total darkness and at a cool 53 degrees year-round. “The smart guys on the internet say these are ideal conditions for cellaring — or aging — craft beer,” Bryan with a Y explains, “but I’m not sure they actually drink beer because it all tastes awful.”

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    A photo from Bryan with a Y’s totally dark beer cellar
    Cellaring, a popular activity among the most dedicated aficionados of craft beer, is said to improve a given beer’s flavor profile as time goes by. But Bryan with a Y is skeptical. “The beer changes as it ages, sure. But the breweries put an expiration date on their packaging, and I suspect after that date the beer actually gets worse.”

    An occasional homebrewer, Bryan claims he is familiar with various flaws and off-flavors in beer. “Take this sour plum imperial pilsener from Boise,” Walters says. “Two years ago it was bright and funky with notes of dark fruit. And now? Tastes like cardboard.” Bryan shakes his head and grabs another specimen from the shelf. “Same with this bourbon barrel-aged maple pancake stout — high ABV cardboard.”

    Frustrated with uneven results, Bryan with a Y thinks he’ll give up the hobby soon. “I never turn the lights on down here. Like, I do my laundry in total darkness. Last week I put soap in the dryer. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.”

    At press time, Bryan with a Y discussed plans to go upstairs and just grab a fresh Summit Keller Pils from the fridge. “I can’t even read the labels down here, so it’s easier to see what I’m grabbing from the fridge. Like, last night my girlfriend wanted a brandy barrel-aged barleywine with her ice cream, but I accidentally grabbed the non-barrel-aged version. She was really mad about that.”

    Bryan with a Y’s girlfriend could not be reached for comment, as she was angrily sorting her massive collection of Lularoe leggings, most of which were ruined when Bryan put the damn soap in the dryer. (Pro tip: air-dry the Lulas, BryGuy.)

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    Because Summit Brewing Co. has the equipment and capacity to cellar and condition our beers prior to packaging, they’re all ready to enjoy cold and fresh. So do that.
     
  2. evilcatfish

    evilcatfish Pooh-Bah (2,116) May 11, 2012 Missouri
    Pooh-Bah Trader

    I know this is a silly ad but so true.
     
    JMN44 likes this.
  3. barrybeerdog

    barrybeerdog Pundit (941) Aug 17, 2012 South Dakota

    I believe Dirk would disagree:rolling_eyes:
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    emerge077 and NeroFiddled like this.
  4. KarlHungus

    KarlHungus Grand Pooh-Bah (3,315) Feb 19, 2005 Minnesota
    Pooh-Bah

    I think you're missing the part of the story where Bryan with a Y complains about the beers he cellars for years already being 10 days old when he finds them at the store.
     
    LittleGus and NeroFiddled like this.
  5. macgroveguy

    macgroveguy Initiate (0) Jan 22, 2015 Minnesota

    I really enjoyed my 1 yr old Union #6 last night. Sorry I didn't follow your passive agressive advice, I'll refrain from buying Summit to cellar from now on.
     
    josephwa, TCOlson and maximum12 like this.
  6. JMN44

    JMN44 Pundit (809) Sep 19, 2013 Minnesota

    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or if you are offended by Summit's joke hitting a little to close to home to you.
     
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  7. macgroveguy

    macgroveguy Initiate (0) Jan 22, 2015 Minnesota

    Both
     
    Chaz likes this.
  8. Dizmal

    Dizmal Crusader (437) Oct 28, 2009 Minnesota

    Lighten up, Francis.
     
    HoppyHawk, TimJohnsonMN and JMN44 like this.
  9. FBarber

    FBarber Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,325) Mar 5, 2016 Illinois
    Mod Team BA4LYFE Society Pooh-Bah Trader

    LOL - well done.
     
  10. MNAle

    MNAle Initiate (0) Sep 6, 2011 Minnesota

    C'mon, it's supposed to be humor!

    I've cellared a few Summit beers, but not so much because I wanted to cellar them, but because they represented styles from Summit that are not in their normal lineup (and had a high enough ABV where they might survive).

    Union Series #5 did well for the first year+, but after that, results were oddly mixed. Some bottles were too "hot", others still quite nice. They are all gone now.

    30th Anniversary English-Style Barleywine (2016) - I still have some, and it has been holding up reasonably well. I still enjoy it.

    I have 4 bottles of Union #6 (2017) left, and like your experience, I enjoyed the one I had awhile ago.
     
    JMN44 likes this.
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