Ballast Point t shirt contest

You should send it to me because:
1. We're both FL BA's
2. First!
3. It won't fit me, but that's okay cause my wife LOVES beer related shirts.

 

I am in Jax so I could pick it up from your house and share beer with you! Also, it will fit me.

 

I look seriously fabulous in moomoos!

 

I like long walks on the beach, romantic candlelit dinners, and slightly-too-big brewery t-shirts.

 

Hold on to it , if you drink steady you'll fit into it

 

"I don't want to look like a weirdo- I'll just go with the muumuu."

 

Just had my first Sculpin tonight. Yum. Now with your help i can advertise em'

 

Just tuck it in! Did I win?

 

if you pump iron you can drink more beer and if you drink more beer the shirt will fit you so keep it

 

You see, in this world there are two kinds of people, my friend: Those with shirts too big and those who dig. Send it to me.

 

I made an imperial sculpin ipa clone, we could trade.

 

Because my current t-shirt rotation still includes a 1999 NY Knicks Eastern Conference Champions tee and a 2000 Bronze Division runner-up tee from a dart team I played on that was sponsored by a bar that is now a toilet and batroom fixture store. AKA....I could use a few new t-shirts dude

 

Cow shirt ?

 

I can imagine myself walking in the sunset, holding hands and smiling. Hearing the crash of the waves as a gentle breeze flows through my body and hair. Walking miles and miles, while the moon rises high into the sky. The whole world is asleep, but I am the only one living a dream. The graceful peace, settling into my heart. For once I actually feel alive. This is what it should feel like. This is how you're supposed to live. A longing sense of comfort. And as we lay on the sand staring into the night sky, the stars become brighter and multiply. Soon enough, the dark sky is brightened by each star's shine. We close our eyes, hand in hand and lie in a moment of silence when all we can hear in the background is the calm waves alining upon the shore and the light night breeze. We make a wish and lie together in a few more moments, appreciating eachother for everything we are. We then both open our eyes to the diamond-like sky, staring for a brief moment as we then both turn to eachother, lying on our sides. I am looking into your eyes and you are looking into mine. I look at every inch of your body, then interlocking my eyes into yours once again. I inhale as you take a deep breath. I then begin to speak in a soft whisper. I tell you this is everything. You are all I've wanted. You were in all my dreams. You love me the way I wanted. You care for me like no one else has. I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, everything you've spent on me, everything you've said to me and everything you've felt for me. You are the only one I want. I am in love with you. Please keep me forever. Locked away in the eternity of time. You are different. You give me ideas. Thoughts, feelings, unlived visions of places I've never been or never knew existed, walking beside you in every one. It may be simple to state how I feel about you and say I love you a thousand times, but it is all too complex to fully give you the understanding of the meaning of the immense amount of love and appreciation I have for you. I tell you you're the one. You're everything anyone could ever ask for. I am thankful to have you in my life. I love you. I then pause and look into your eyes. You don't say anything. You can see the moon reflecting onto the calm ocean. A warm chilling feeling flows throughout my body as I watch you begin to slowly close your eyes and bring your body closer to me. Your face inching towards mine. As I close my eyes, I take one deep breath, tasting the chilled ocean air. I slowly bring myself closer to you, as you put your arms around me. I can feel your body heat and your soft hands touching my body. Our lips then touch. We kiss. Passionate, gentle, everlasting. This one kiss expresses all my thoughts, feelings, emotions and every little detail of every little existing idea, dream, form of all the words and feelings that I've developed for you. That moment, it was all unveiled. We lied there for minutes, sharing this dream we both created together. As we slowly move our faces away, I lay my head upon your shoulder and your arms around my body. The night had never seemed so bright and beautiful up until this day. It's like the world turned and everything completely changed. Everything was clear and I can actually breathe and feel each beat of my heart pound against my chest, as the blood slowly flows through my body. I can feel, hear, touch, taste, see, smell and understand everything, in what now feels like what is heaven. Lifelessly floating on a cloud, feeling fully alive. The feeling of being so unrealistically content and that a perfect life and person can exist is far beyond anything I could have ever perceived. You are my savior and meaning for existance. I thank you for everything you will do and being there, always. We lie, staring into the sky feeling the air get colder as the night becomes later. It doesn't bother me though. My body is filled with a warming sense of completion. Everything I'd dreamed of having is fulfilled, finally. I close my eyes and daydream once again of having and sharing this same exact moment with you. Soon enough the stars slowly fade away as the sky becomes lighter and the light of the sun pierces through the sky, slowly rising as time repeats itself once again. But this time is new. The feeling of being reborn into a life that you feel you've lived every single day. It feels so right. Life is beautiful with you. I appreciate things much more thoroughly. I love you. I always will.​

 

If you don't give me the t-shirt then you're nothing but a big fat phoney!!!

 

tl;dr

 

When you don't have good beer to drink, you get angry. When you get angry, you argue with your wife. When you argue with your wife, she stops cooking for you. When you cook for yourself, you don't eat as much. When you don't eat as much, you lose weight. When you lose weight, your clothes get too big. And when your clothes are too big, your cool new BP shirt looks like a muumuu. Don't be the guy wearing a muumuu.

 

I have a very small penis.

 

I will share with you the rectal temperature of a hummingbird.
[don't ask how I measured it and don't speak with anyone named John Paul Ziller before this contest is over]