Beer Horror Stories

It was a starless night somewhere under the dead ohio sky. A faint pssst noise was heard coming from the other room. "Someone's got beer!" I yelled, surprised,because I was home alone, broke and sober. I quietly tip toed to the kitchen to see a freshly opened bottle of head hunter ipa sitting on the counter, a pub glass filled to the top with a beautiful, golden straw glow. "Is anyone in there?" I asked, alarmed, but also intruiged. I slid silently through the shadows, picked up the glass, and was greeted by the unmistakable hop aroma of this great ipa. I slowly brought this unexplainable treat to my mouth, took a sip, and....

 

That's a monster in law. You're probably way too nice.

 

It was @Tilley4 's monster in law !!!!

 

As usual, DelMontiac brining the wisdom!!! Great advice.

 

We had been promised a very rare cask of Old Ebenezer at my local for Christmas and it was met with barely suppressed glee by those who heard the news. Barleywine was a rare visitor to the pub, the landlord being of the opinion that people drank less of it as it was too strong, or got drunk quickly and went home early, he was wrong on both counts.

The cold blast straight off the North Sea funnelled along the banks of the Tyne and stole the warmth from your bones as it whipped around the stone walls of the pub, several halves of warming barleywine would be welcome indeed. A relic of the area's rich maritime history the pub stood like a single tooth in the maw of an old crone amongst the ruin of demolished riverside warehouses and shipyards. The patrons were a motley bunch of souls but they rubbed along together well enough with a shared appreciation of good beer. Beer and a need for sanctuary from the bitter winds of the dark winter season and the remorseless progress that had laid waste to the local industries. Sanctuary, shelter, camaraderie and good cheer for those lost like fog bound sailors navigating toward the welcoming beacon of a small dockside ale house.....
To be continued.

 

Was kilt by an chainsaw repairman.

 

I'm in...

 

I skipped on Lou Pepe for 22 bucks, along with a whole shitload of other relatively inexpensive cantillons and 3f stuff when I was in Amsterdam last summer because I had just bought a bunch of westy 12's. I still get sweaty nightmares to this day.

 

This one time, the bartender at my regular watering hole impaled me on his brewing equiptment, and my blood dripped into the beer! When my wife came to look for me, the bartender told her I decided that I prefered the company of men, and left her. He then served her a beer with my blood in in, which made her fall in love with him.





not really though. That happened on The Simpsons. Which I am currently watching.

 

Brutal

 

This thread is 2spooky, perfect for Halloween.

I wish I had scarier stories to contribute... but the only one is that I opened the fridge and all that was left in it was a few Keystone lights. I even cracked one and finished it!

 

It was Halloween night, 2010. My good friend and neighbor was having his annual Halloween party but I was stuck at work until 1am. I had talked to him earlier and he said I should still stop by as they would surely still be going. I get there around 1:30 and sure enough the party was still in full swing though everyone definitely had a big head start on me in the drinking department. So I tried to play catch up....bad idea. Ended up getting black out drunk and waking up on the floor in my living room wearing a flying nun costume (I do not own a flying nun costume and didn't wear a costume to the party.) I had my camera with me so I figured I would go through the pictures to see what I missed (a la the scene at the end of the movie The Hangover). Some funny and crazy pictures as I scrolled through the night (the end of which I had no memory of) until the last picture on my camera taken at around 6am. It is a picture of me taken by me walking home holding two empty bottles...Bourbon County Stout 2009 bomber and Russian River Consecration. Don't remember ever running home to raid my cellar or even drinking them for that matter. I later asked my friend if he remembered me bringing them and he said, "yeah, you ran home an came back with two bottles of some stuff...we played drinking games with them." Wish I knew how to get the pic off my phone so you could share in the horror with me.
https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/...5725839360691022978&oid=100752166040487453680

 

I was in Ft. Wayne, Indiana for a concert over the weekend and was horrified lack of beer love I saw. I was hunting for Three Floyds and Sun King in a liquor store and I spotted some BrewDog on a shelf. I got really excited because I had never seen any in Illinois, walk over and they are coated with thick dust. Check the labels and the "Best by" dates on the Hardcore IPA and Libertine Black Ale were 3 months in the past and they were still expecting full price. :|

Then I ask the employees if anyone in town carries Sun King and they hadn't even heard of the brewery. At least the store had a couple of Panzer Wolf bottles, the venue had a couple bottles of Alpha King and I got something out of that town's slap in the face to the enjoyment of good beer.

 

That's a pretty awesome story...I know that picture brings you pain but it just provided me a great laugh. (hope that makes you feel at least a tiny bit better)

 

Back in like 2001 maybe? My wife and I grabbed lunch in Grand Haven, MI and ran into a similar issue but this took stupid up a notch. I noticed they had Tenet's, so I requested one (only thing not macro oddly enough) but was denied due to all the Sunday-ness happening. Fine. I can get over it and just remember to avoid whatever county on Sundays (Ottawa maybe?) but what torqued me very well was when my wife commented briefly to the waitress that "darn, she was going to get a raspberry Pina Colada". Waitress promptly responded that said drink containing RUM was FINE. Apparently the brilliant minds in the Ottawa county leadership clown car felt that beer is the liquid of Satan himself on Sunday but you can enjoy LIQUOR as if angels spit it into your glass.....idiots......

 

I laugh about it now...it's just beer. Just sucked that most if not all of the people at the party probably did not even like the beer and I don't remember drinking it. I need to get one of those ignition interlock devices that they put on peoples' cars when they get DWI/DUIs on my cellar door.

 

Funneling can after can of Natty Ice (yeah I know..) with my fraternity circa 2009 during a USF tailgate. Ended up blacking out/sleeping in my seat during the first half of the game and miraculously not getting thrown out. Puked up Niagara Falls later that night.. Never. Again.

 

I was drinking a beer, and then I finished it. NO MORE BEER!

 

Hahah pretty much the worst

 

When ever I buy Hopslam every year I have to drink the entire six pack fresh and can't save any for later thus having to wait another year for more.

I heard another horror story from this guy who had a few cases of Westy 12 in his garage he brought back from Belgium and some teenagers broke in and stole it all.