Buying a thermometer/temperature gun for beer?

You're overthinking this, bruh.....

 

For anyone still interested, the freezing point rule of thumb for beer is 28 F. For a 3% beer, that would go up to about 30 F, and for a 10% brew it'd drop to about 27 F based on the alcohol content and no other extraneous factors. So a three degree spread in freezing temp over a swing of 7% in ABV alone, not factoring in residual sugars or other "stuff" that affects freezing point. The rate of freezing will likely change as well, but there's more external factors involved.

The can and contents are cooled by conduction. Rule of thumb again is about 90 minutes to freeze as solid as its going to get, but I can say from experience that this is a really loose interpretation of reality! Twenty minutes or so are theoretically safe, but we have had a few surprises ( the missus will pull a beer off the shelf and put it in the freezer for 15 - 20 minutes and had it freeze on opening thank you pressure change. Even a 15 percent big boy beer is still 85 percent water, so even though the alcohol won't freeze solid in any conventional freezer, the beer being mostly water is still pretty damned solid.

As opposed to water, ethanol freezes at minus 173 F which no residential or normal commercial freezer is ever going to reach. So that alcohol will remain dispersed as a liquid amongst the ice crystals. If you fish out the ice that's largely water, you can raise the ABV, which is technically distilling and not exactly legal.

If it's close to that freezing temp and you open the container, the sudden loss in pressure will cause it to freeze pretty solid assuming the bottle or can hasn't burst from water expansion. And it takes forever to thaw and it ends up flat and lifeless.

 

My dad gave me a pretty big mini fridge ( I can squeeze probably 50 cans and 50 bottles in it) that I use exclusively for beer. Now that I’ve had it if it broke I would definitely buy another one, it’s great having it And frees up tons of space in the kitchen fridge. Plus it looks like a tool chest so I’m flying incognito