Can you help me find a beer??

Here's the description from the website, it fits OP's description. OP said it had a cream soda thickness, low ABV, sweetness, and vanilla. Cali Creamin' is the right beer.

One of our most popular beers ever, this light cream ale has a malty backbone thanks to some flaked corn and honey malt. A medium bodied cult classic, it is sure to woo the ladies, but also flavorful enough to satisfy the dudes. You’ll swear you were drinking a cream soda…but tricks are for kids.
5.2% ABV

 

He also said it was a stout.

 

If he can't remember the name, it's possible he can't remember the style. He might have been told it was a stout by the server and he assumed it was a stout but I think Cali Creamin' fits perfectly, he should give it a try and that's the only way he will know for sure, cheers!

 

That could literally be any number of stouts.

 

Thin with a low abv, have you had an FBS before?

To the OP's question though maybe some kind of cream or milk stout. I'd guess stone milk stout also as it looks like you're in. Cali. I'd have guessed maybe Bells Double cream stout or something like that but Bells doesn't distro in Cali. Good luck man.

 

breckenridge vanilla porter?

 

He said the beer was either Ninkasi Vanilla Oatis or "Mother something or other". The OP then ruled out The Vanilla Oatis. Sin Tax Imperial Stout by MOTHER EARTH BREWING is a widely distributed stout in that area and is very sweet and very desert-like. I would be shocked if that is not the beer, given all of the information in this thread.

 

Was actually drinking it when I posted. The FBS I was drinking had vanilla and no detectable alcohol (compared to other stouts) so I thought it fit his description pretty well. With the initial vague description it was a shot in the dark.

 

This is what the rating system is for...

How is the OP supposed to figure it out? By buying and drinking every single beer mentioned in the thread until he finally goes "Eureka!"? Hopeless thread is hopeless.

 

I'm sorry to hear that, that's an appetizer portion.

 

im this close to putting my finger on it

 

Highwater Campfire Stout?

 

Utopia?

 

Breckinridge Vanilla Porter or Tallgrass Buffalo Sweat?

 

LMFAO! You have just earned my greatest respect, my friend. After that hilarious post, I now greatly want to help you solve this mystery.

 

ballast point victory at sea vanilla porter?

 

Must have loved it. Joined BA to find out what it was.

 

or passes out in a drunken stupor before choking to death on someone else's vomit?!!?