Favorite or Classic BA personalities

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by JoeAmerican77, Sep 5, 2014.

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  1. JoeAmerican77

    JoeAmerican77 Defender (601) Oct 11, 2009 Colorado

    What are the classic BA's out there that make you laugh and cry daily. I want the stereotypes to flow, the good the bad and the ugly:

    I'll start:
    1) The Homestate Advantage BA: This BA only advocates beer from their home state because obviously Colorado is the only state to make great beer.
    2) The Mute Ticker: Never one to write out a beer review this BA has "reviewed" over 1,500 beers in the 1.5 years they've been on the site.
    3) The Professor: This BA's knowledge of everything beer is so accurate and so widely trusted you don't even need to Google or hit Wikipedia to fact check, you just believe.

    Who else we got out there...?
  2. johnyb

    johnyb Crusader (709) Aug 11, 2012 Florida

    The Resident Trade Expert.........constantly offering his two cents on whether your ISO: FT will fly.

    "Sorry brah, won't happen... You're going to have to pony up whalez for that one"
  3. TongoRad

    TongoRad Poo-Bah (2,768) Jun 3, 2004 New Jersey
    Society Trader

    Mr. No Shelf Beers!- will offer up only recommendations of obscure, hard to get beers, even when the OP specifically requested easy to find substitutes for just that sort of thing.
    Drew26, OleGee, cavedave and 99 others like this.
  4. Daemose

    Daemose Initiate (0) Oct 3, 2011 Texas

    The Houstonian: Will go out of their way to line up for every single beer release at Downtown Specs if Joey tweets it out saying it's limited. May also be prone to using hobos as mules for bottle limits and for visiting/hoarding Austin breweries, begging them to distribute more in Houston.
  5. King_Ranch

    King_Ranch Initiate (0) Feb 19, 2014 Texas

    The offended by everything BA
    OleGee, frognot, kjkinsey and 49 others like this.
  6. drtth

    drtth Poo-Bah (4,006) Nov 25, 2007 Pennsylvania

    The Amateur Comedian (Trying to Sound Cool).... With 10,000 real Comedians out of work, he still persists in throwing out boys locker room beer jokes that were old when his Grandpa was caught sneaking a PBR behind the barn.
    #6 drtth, Sep 5, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2014
  7. EricTKole

    EricTKole Disciple (353) Jan 4, 2014 Michigan

    The guys who play the game of chasing the most coveted limited releases and then complain about how much they have to pay for them.

    KBS sucks guy. (Side note this really could be any limited release but guy who thinks it has changed for the worse over the years or is just mad that he didn't get the allotment he thought he deserves)
  8. johnjohnbeer

    johnjohnbeer Initiate (160) Oct 27, 2012 Ohio

    One of my favs right here.
  9. russpowell

    russpowell Poo-Bah (10,242) May 24, 2005 Arkansas
    Society Trader

  10. fredmugs

    fredmugs Meyvn (1,484) Aug 11, 2012 Indiana

    Imma say what I want guy:

    OP asks for great barrel aged beers. Imma say what I want guy recommends Founders Breakfast Stout.
    OP asks for great IPAs he can get on the east coast. Imma say guy recommends La Cumbre.
    ASTMONATE, OleGee, PSU_Mike and 20 others like this.
  11. Fezzik1970

    Fezzik1970 Initiate (0) Feb 22, 2014 New Jersey

    Mr. Everybeerisasessionbeer and his uncle Mr. Thereisnosuchthingasasessionbeer And there cousin from across the pond Master Everythingbritishunderthreeisasession
  12. Providence

    Providence Crusader (704) Feb 24, 2010 Rhode Island

    The "oh this topic again" BA. This BA flies into every thread that comes out frequently and says stuff like "Oh great, I haven't seen this thread in a while" or "the search button is your friend." This BA is actually trying to brag about how long s/he has been here by showing the rest of the forum that they've been a beer advocate so long that they have seen all these threads. This BA also doesn't seem to understand that message boards dedicated to niche hobbies frequently attract people with similar questions/concerns/thoughts.

    Don't cry for this BA, they're already dead.
  13. keithmurray

    keithmurray Meyvn (1,384) Oct 7, 2009 Connecticut

    What about the MrIonlydrinkbeerfromVermontorNorthernCalifornia guys
  14. kuhndog

    kuhndog Disciple (340) Sep 6, 2011 New York

    The "I only drink whales" guy. Beers like Anchor, Sierra Nevada, Lagunitas, etc., all suck according to him.
  15. RickBelgique

    RickBelgique Initiate (68) Jul 16, 2014 Illinois

    The Exclusive Style Snob. These are the people who think that the style of beer that they like is the greatest in the world, with all other styles being lower than a can of PBR left in the sun for 5 years. I throw into this category the people who think that if a brewery makes more than 5 barrels of beer a year, the brewery's not "crafty" enough and is beneath them.
  16. GreesyFizeek

    GreesyFizeek Poo-Bah (8,196) Mar 6, 2013 New York
    Society Trader

    The "This, and every other beer was better last year" guy.
    OleGee, cavedave, doowhat and 29 others like this.
  17. King_Ranch

    King_Ranch Initiate (0) Feb 19, 2014 Texas

    The "Beer X" was better last year BA.
    Of course it was, they probably made less of it, so it is more rare.

    Looks like I was just beaten to the punch by a few seconds. Good call.

    The autumn seasonals are getting released early BA
    Anyone else noticed they have already started releasing pumpkin beers and octoberfests and it is only July?
  18. GreesyFizeek

    GreesyFizeek Poo-Bah (8,196) Mar 6, 2013 New York
    Society Trader

    The "Look at how big my dong is" guys in the "post a picture of your latest haul" thread
  19. twizzard

    twizzard Defender (655) May 11, 2013 New York

    The sensory expert that can taste/smell 'wet horse blanket' & 'cat piss'.
    Drew26, Hophazzard, OleGee and 66 others like this.
  20. Fargrow

    Fargrow Initiate (0) Feb 7, 2013 Michigan

    The timid "IMO" BA who needs to qualify everything they say with the acronym in hopes of preventing everyone from ripping them a new asshole for stating anything.
  21. TWStandley

    TWStandley Crusader (759) Jan 15, 2008 Massachusetts

    1) The "I Don't Know How to Use a Search Box" BA. Always posting threads that have already been posted hundreds of times before.

    2) The "I Don't Have a Life Outside of BA" BA. Self explanatory.

    3) The "I Refer to Brewers by Their First Name Like We Are Pals" BA. Shaun brews this beer so well...blah blah blah unless you are friends with him this just irks me.
  22. Spiral517

    Spiral517 Initiate (182) Sep 17, 2013 Maryland

    hey, cool! when i tried Orval i got both! can i add "beer sensory expert" to my resume? :slight_smile:
  23. TWStandley

    TWStandley Crusader (759) Jan 15, 2008 Massachusetts

    The "I Would Trade My First Born for Assassin" BA.
    mlhyatt and johnyb like this.
  24. paulys55

    paulys55 Zealot (502) Aug 2, 2010 Pennsylvania

    Coming into this thread, I thought we were going to be talking about specific BAs:slight_frown:
  25. BILF

    BILF Initiate (0) Jan 9, 2010 Israel

    The "Ned Flanders" BA guy who is peachy keen to welcome noobs (hate that word) and to chime in (hate that phrase) at every opportunity just to show how neigbourly he is. Hey hidey hey! Welcome aboard.

    Fuckers even got a beer style named after him. FLANDERS Red Ale.
  26. CTbrew32

    CTbrew32 Zealot (562) Dec 15, 2013 Rhode Island

    The "my taste buds are better than yours BA" - Tells you how a well rated/high rated beer sucks and they can't fathom how other people might enjoy the same beer.

    The "most beer sucks BA"- Most of the beer this BA has had has been mediocre at best. This BA should go drink wine.
  27. breadwinner

    breadwinner Meyvn (1,217) Mar 6, 2014 California

    The "Enlightened International Traveler" BA, who will dutifully reminds you that the version of the style you're drinking is not really true to form, and that when he was studying abroad in Europe, he drank the real stuff at the brewery, which is a centuries old monastery, and that the yeast they use just really isn't reproducible, and that, like, your palate is just so unrefined:wink:
  28. otispdriftwood

    otispdriftwood Initiate (0) Dec 9, 2011 Colorado

    The nouveau faux BA - someone who has just "discovered" Blue Moon & Shock Top and gushes about how great they are.
  29. 5thOhio

    5thOhio Zealot (510) May 13, 2007 South Carolina

    Add when OP asks for destination recommendations and Imma say what I want guy recommends places hundreds of miles out of the way.
  30. breadwinner

    breadwinner Meyvn (1,217) Mar 6, 2014 California

    This is all just IMO, of course.
  31. hopfenunmaltz

    hopfenunmaltz Poo-Bah (1,818) Jun 8, 2005 Michigan

    The geographicallychallengedBa. Breweries from Michigan are east coast for example.
    The timedistancechallengedBa. A brewery 150 miles away is an hour drive.
  32. herrburgess

    herrburgess Meyvn (1,127) Nov 4, 2009 South Carolina

    The passive aggressive BA. :wink:
  33. breadwinner

    breadwinner Meyvn (1,217) Mar 6, 2014 California

    The takes everything personal BA:wink:
    Scipio3, mabermud, cjgiant and 9 others like this.
  34. azorie

    azorie Champion (892) Mar 18, 2006 Florida

    The prefect BA who bitches about everyone else but never looks in the mirror.
  35. herrburgess

    herrburgess Meyvn (1,127) Nov 4, 2009 South Carolina

    Wait, were you talking about me in your first post?
  36. Hop-Droppen-Roll

    Hop-Droppen-Roll Initiate (0) Nov 5, 2013 Minnesota

    The BA who has had all the hardest to get beers.

    'Westy 12 > PtY > Dark Lord > cantillon...'

    I know that not probably an accurate chain of preference, and it compares apples to oranges, but idk, I'll never try any of those beers.

    Oh! Mr. You'reComparingApplesToOranges is another good one.
  37. BILF

    BILF Initiate (0) Jan 9, 2010 Israel

    The Emoticon BA. :grinning: will insert these annoying faces:angry: into every post they write:wink:. And just when you think they're done with this infantile behaviour they finish their post with three of these damn things :sunglasses::rolling_eyes::stuck_out_tongue:.
    OleGee, dianimal, doowhat and 29 others like this.
  38. Smakawhat

    Smakawhat Poo-Bah (7,432) Mar 18, 2008 Maryland

    The Empty Barrel: The guy (yes you know it's a guy) who constantly replies to every post about an opinion of what beer is better or sucks (cause he has to let you all know about his vast knowledge of what he has had), but when you look at their beer ratings, you see that he has no reviews or even ticks (or hardly any) in his profile.
  39. Hop-Droppen-Roll

    Hop-Droppen-Roll Initiate (0) Nov 5, 2013 Minnesota

    This reminds me of the Doesn'tRealizeHowWholesaleDistrobutionWorks B.A. who always assumes that since Beer-X is distributed in Minnesota, then obviously I have access to it because I live in Minnesota.
    s_wit, paulys55, johnyb and 1 other person like this.
  40. pjvie

    pjvie Initiate (186) May 30, 2014 Oregon

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