Full Cellar LIF - Creativity Required

The Drinking at Work BIF

Anyone who signs up must give their work address and boss/supervisor's name. 200oz min, at least 3 KH style whales, no noisemakers, all bottles packed sideways to maximize noise. Shipper keeps track of box and only notifies target on day of delivery. Thus target's box will be delivered to their boss, who will probably open the 40lb+ monster box. Target must then try to explain why the beer was delivered there, and why they should get to keep it. Bonus points go to anyone who can get their boss to let them crack one open while on the job. Major points go to anyone working a corporate job with strict no alcohol policy.

 

How many bonus points for being a high school teacher? Pretty sure this one would cost me my job although the assistant principal and I regularly trade homebrew and talk beer.

 

Positive or negative points for being in a corporate job with a strict "growler Friday" policy?

 

hahah, you just inspired me to up the ante. When the BIF starts, all participants send a whale to the organizer. At the end, everyone writes up what happens including if they kept their job or got fired. Participants vote, and the box of whales is sent from the organizer to an even higher up this time. (like superintendent in your case, CEO/VP whatever in a company) If you can talk that person in to giving you the box of whales, you win at life forever.

 

Probably negative, trying to give more points for the more work you have to do to get the beer/keep your job. A lax beer policy kinda defeats that.

 

Ultimate Wale (sic) BIF
White Whale's only. I will organize the BIF and assign the targets. Everyone must ship a pre-approved white whale to their target within the shipping window. Note that the shipping window will be very short (approx. one week). Oh, by the way I am everyone's target and will disappear from BA shortly after the designated shipping date. You may see your beers on ebay in the future. (Alternate Name: RochesterAaron's ebay retirement plan)

 

My submission lost steam in terms of "Likes" probably because people are afraid to be shunned from future participation

 

Everyone in my office now knows that I'm not working right now. I cannot stop laughing.

 

Slow clap...

 

I know I missed the dealing by a few mins but wanted to post this for fun.

x has time at my grandmas house one of the uncles always brings a case of the cheapest beer at the time. This has been going on since I was a kid. There are almost full cases of things like busch, bud, and other misc shit like that with born on dates going back into the early 1990's. Package a nice vertical of each and send those out! haha

 

Great LIF and congrats to the winners!

At least the consolation Like's are flowing in. After free beer, the next best thing is good likes:messages horatios.

Plus, I consider Bourbon Fred muling a pretty sweet award

 

Dammit.

I wanted that Cerasus too. I passed one up when I was in Portland because it was $20.

 

Thanks to Luke for coming up with the best lif that I can remember.

Thanks to you sick degenerates for liking my story. Gives me hope for the future of this site.

 

Well, thanks. That's what I'm good at.

Damn, I knew I should have had the last target shoot the OP.

 

Woohoo! Now I have to think of my own LIF to put up.

Loved the Russian Roulette BIF. The wife says it may be more saddening to shoot at the box of whales.
Still don't completely understand the Diminishing Returns BIF. It actually hurt my head to try to figure it out...

 

The Russian Roulette LIF:

Exactly one of the flaps on the LIF'ed box is wired to an explosive. Open with care.

 

Eh, I've always found tragic decisions with questionable rewards trumps explosions for audiences of hooligans.