Funny things kids say about beer.

My son drew a family portrait at school. My portrayal was holding a can that said "beer". The can was nearly as big as me.

 

My kids grew up dipping their finger in the head of my beer and making mustaches then licking them, this moved on to being able to pull a proper pint from a tap. The other day at a cookout we were having my 10 yr old walked up to the keg and elbowed one of my friends out of the way and said "Outta my way lightweight"

 

In my 8 year old's VBS class, they were doing a demonstration with yeast. The teacher asked the kids if they knew what yeast was used for, expecting to get bread/baking as a response. My son confidently raised his hand, was called upon, and said for making beer.

 

my 6 year old gets very upset when I get boxes in the mail from trades... "Mom and I never get anything, all you get is beer, beer, beer!"

 

One day when our son was in early grade school the class must have spent time learning a few things about some vices. While sitting at the dinner table that evening and enjoying a beer with my meal, our son proudly exclaimed .... "Dad, did you know that beer has alcohol in it ?" , inferring I was doing something less than ideal.

 

That's adorable!

 

My niece, when she was 3 or 4, picked up on the fact that my brother really likes Dead Guy. We think the label caught her eye. Anyway, whenever she sees my brother pull a beer from the fridge, she shouts, "Daddy, is that a Dead Guy." When it is and he tells her so, she does this variation on a cheerleader's cheer (which is weird because she's never seen or heard of a cheerleader) and goes "yaaAAAY DEAD GUY!"

 

I don't have kids, but have a funny story my parents told me about when I was ~3-4 years old... By that age I had seen enough anti-drinking and driving TV commercials, but I didn't understand that they specifically meant drinking alcohol. So, this one time I was in the car with my parents, and my dad was driving while drinking a ginger ale soda. I was in the backseat in tears repeatedly telling my dad not to drink and drive or he will die.

In fact, I think my child-mind was brain-washed by this ad campaign:


EDIT: For the record, my dad is still alive and well.

 

CLASSIC!!!

 

This happened to me also, but he graciously left out the golf part - painting a picture of an even greater degenerate....

 

I love it when I'm in the bottle shop & other shoppers have their young children with them.
'look daddy, a unicorn! ...Ooh, a Princess! ...Ninja Turtles!' (Terrapin, every time)
Etc.
This just never seems to get old for me. :-)

 

While my pre-school introduction of "my daddy drinks beer" was high on the list, my favorite kid/beer story is this:
I was out in the yard pulling weeds, cutting the grass, etc... After having my 5 years old already make two or three runs to the basement for Hamms, I once again needed a cold one. I yelled for him to bring "daddy another beer". I over heard him scoff at my request as he walked away and when he returned, to my [pleasant] surprise, he handed me two cans! He almost had the feeling of self accomplishment for his great idea of efficiency and a huge smile. While he didn't say it, I felt like he was thinking, "here you go, you fat asshole...leave me alone for at least ten minutes this time"....

 

On the way back from Costco with my 2&1/2-year-old a couple weeks ago, I impulsively swung by a local brewery & picked up a growler, then went to hit up another brewery on the way home. On finding out that it was closed, he tried to console me by saying, "Daddy, we can go to another beer place."

Also, in pretty much any discussion of what grown-ups do, beer drinking is involved somehow. Grown-ups "drive/cook dinner/go to work/etc. AND drink beer".

 

We went out to dinner one night and when we sat down my son said "Dad, what are you getting to drink? Coffee or beer?".... I drink water too...

 

My 2yr old will open the fridge and just point at the bottles or cans "Daddy! Beer? Beer?!". If its cans (I don't want a dangerous mess with bottles) she'll grab me one if I say yes.

 

My two year old son and I were sitting on the couch watching a bit of a Detroit Tigers game a few weeks ago. I was drinking beer (what else) and he calls out, without taking his eyes off the game, "Mommy, bing me beeya" after pulling his thumb out of his mouth.

 

I'm 24 and am not likely to have any progeny for a while, but I must say this is one of my favorite threads so far this year. All of these stories are hilarious, and there's way less negativity than a lot of threads on here!

 

You've got to keep her away from this website.

 

if my kid's first word isn't "hops" it'll be a F*****G miracle.

 

"X beer was better last year"