"How to talk like a beer snob"

I am floored that there's nary a mention of the word "cloyingly" in that article. It is pretty solid, though.

 

Not enough horse blanket.

 

came here for cloyingly and horse blanket. was disappointed in the omission on the list, which i think did pretty well. BA saved it though!

 

I think "horse blanket" should be upgraded to "barnyard rusticity. It is much more dignified. Animal odors and the word "funk" should be reserved for more basic conversation than beverage taste and smell descriptors. I hate to think where all of this may lead.

 

Honest to god I once said the following "You really tell this was aged in french and not American oak"

I made sure to punch myself in the face before any of my friends did

 

If you enjoyed this article like I did, go on YouTube and search for a video called "Hipsters Ordering Beer".

 

You mean like "aroma of cat pee"? If the description fits, why limit your words?

 

How to talk like a beer snob? DON'T

 

"Cat pee on a leaf" is more couth, I'm sure.

 

LOL. when I saw this thread title on the homepage I came on to respond: "Don't"

@mikeincharleston kudos for arriving on the scene first.

 

"I am about to justify drinking nine beers before noon.”
I pronounce the defendant... GUILTY!

 

Came here to post this same article, funnier/more accurate than expected. Particularly like the super high IBU/genital measuring reference.

 

Yikes, is this really a new thing? Maybe I'm out of touch. People really defend BMC?! Sort of scares me...

 

Never said any of these things before.... I think

 

The only thing that should be quaffed is a potion.

 

So I thought it would be fun to reply to the beer snob:
“I’m really into big beers.”

Really? it comes in gallon bottles?

"This is a very sessionable ale."

Wow, that seems like a long time for one beer

"You can really detect the tannins in this."

Ya, that stuff can turn you orange if your not careful.

"I prefer cask-conditioned beers.”

Is that colder than air conditioned?

“This beer is infinitely quaffable.”

Man at some point I'd have to stop and pee

“It has an interesting bouquet.”

I love flowery labels too

“My favorite beers start at 80 IBUs.”

I though nobody took bitcoins anymore

“Do you have any glassware that isn’t a standard pint?”

How big is an unstandard one?

“The head on this beer is incredibly thick.”

You and it should get on like a house on fire!

“Do you have anything imported?”

Ya, here have a Corona

“That tastes way better on Nitro.”

Na, I used to take stuff like that but now I don't

“Is this beer double hopped or triple hopped?”

Not sure, I think it's shipped direct.

“This is one of the highest-ranked beers in the world.”

Even in Mexico?

 

Yes, they do and I'm that camp at times. I'm not passionate about it but I view BMC the same way as I view Taco Bell. They make a shit product that isn't good for me but tastes good. I still eat it now and again even though I try not to. My wife and I eat out one or two meals a week because I cook at home and I try to cook decent homemade meals with quality ingredients. I probably spend 10 hours a week in the kitchen preparing food for just the two of us, that said… I still love Taco Bell now and again. BMC fills the same hole for me that Taco Bell does. They make a shitty product and I don't keep Miller Lite around but when I'm hanging out with my non BA buddies on a hot summer day I won't hesitate to take down more cans of ML than I should… It's a guilty pleasure now and again (though I don't really feel guilty).

 

... so "Big Beers" doesn't mean my 6 pack of 40's? ... shit ... that's why they were so angry...

 

I like the word quaffable

 

I love you man....this is the dadest post I've ever read in my life.