Looking for a great thick stout

If Doris didn't cost $15+ for a single bomber I'd drink it all the time

 

If you see Double Barrel Jesus give it a go. One of my favorite beers and thick and delicious, like a bourbon soaked, fudge brownie.

Parabola is a fantastic beer but it is definitely not thick. I was surprised how "watery" it was compared to other BA stouts. Still a fantastic beer and one of my favorites.

 

BCBS for sure. To me, that's the measuring stick for thickness.

And that second sentence sounds sexual as all hell.

 

I have a bottle of it. Never had Parabola, but I did drink Abacus '13. It was top notch, but I was expecting more sweetness. That's what I get for driking BCBBW. To me personally Stickee Monkee sounds the best. Might as well recommend Evil Twin Lil' B and Imperial Biscotti variants (including Imperial Doughnut Break).

 

Bcbs is super viscous, haven't met its match yet.

 

BA Biscotti Break is a great example of a thick beer, and fucking delicious. I dig Stickee Monkey, ET Doughnut, and Lil B, but BA Biscotti is probably the thickest of the ones you mentioned.

 

They don't call it Old Engine Oil for nothing. So it's from the UK...drink it anyway.

 

You should try pounding a Heady then! Back to the post, although BCBS isn't really considered a shelf beer its easy enough to get. I would say it is my favorite from a thickness, overall quality of a beer and availability perspective.

 

Another vote for Yeti variants. Don't know where you live in Pennsylvania but according to Great Divide's beerfinder you can find some yetis in the state.

 

Not mentioned yet is thirsty dog Siberian night...I've only had it once but I remember it being pretty roasty and thick

 

consider a can a miniature keg.