Looking for good-tasting, low-calorie, all-grain recipe

Something like a Blonde Ale, or even a cream ale might do nicely. I'd start w/ a simple malt bill that's some combination of US 2-row/German Pils/Marris Otter/Golden Promise and then cut it with some flaked rice. Mash on the cool end to target a FG in the 1.008ish range to better mimic a "lite" beer (the other option for this crowd would be add some carapils, mash high, and end up with a sweeter final product). Keep the IBU's super super low (probably no more than 10-15) and either go w/ a German hop like Hersbrucker or a fruity hop like Nelson or Mosaic. Ferment on the cool side of a yeast's recommended range. US05/Chico is probably the obvious choice, but a Kolsch or Alt yeast would be nice too.

 

This is not too hard to do, actually. Off the top of my head, the recipe can be as simple as this, for 5 gallons:

9 lb pilsner malt
4-5 oz acidulated malt
1 oz Saaz hops (60 minutes)
Wyeast 2565 or White Labs WLP029 or dry W-34/70 yeast
distilled water
gelatin

A couple days in advance, make a 2-quart starter of liquid yeast, or if using dry yeast then no starter required, just use 2 packs. Selection of yeast also depends on your capability for temperature control, but all will give great results. The W-34/70 yeast is great at about 50 F. Wyeast 2565 performs very well in the mid to upper 50s or low 60s. If warmer then use WLP029 and it will still turn out clean as a whistle but even faster.

Mash in distilled water at 148 F for 1 hour. Boil for 90 minutes, adding the hops at the 60 mark. Chill and add the appropriate yeast. Ferment with temperature as appropriate for the yeast, at least a couple of weeks. The second week, bring the temperature up by 5 degrees or so to help the yeast clean up after themselves. The 2565 can take up to 5 weeks to clear but racking after fermentation subsides seems to help. In any case, gelatin can help clear the yeast out after fermentation is done. To use gelatin, you need the Knox unflavored gelatin. A half a pack is probably enough or just use one full pack, dissolve in a couple ounces of boiled water, and pour it in. A day or two later, your beer will be clear as crystal. Then bottle or keg as normal, give it a week or two to condition, and roll.

For a really light beer, you could use even less malt, or you can even use more malt and then split the batch so you can have some regular strength, then add distilled water to part of the batch to make the light version -- Budweiser does exactly this, they make a strong version then just water it down, literally. They're geniuses because they can charge just as much for watered down beer. Genius.

EDIT: Adding ~15% rice or corn is a great idea, I missed that. These likewise aid in diluting down the malt flavor, which is great for someone who doesn't want their beer to have much flavor.

 

Hard to beat a Berliner Weisse for low calorie and flavorful;

http://www.beeradvocate.com/community/threads/berliner-time-bring-me-your-best.154633/

 

Ordinary Bitter

6ish pounds of Maris Otter or Pearl
.5 lb Amber malt
.5 lb C40
~12 IBU bittering at 60
1 oz EKG at flameout
English ale yeast of your choice.

Low ABV, Low calorie. All delicious

 

My 'vote' is Cream Ale.

Cheers!

 

If you want to get close to what they know, brew a cream ale or light american lager. If you want to expand their horizons, try american wheat beer or kolsch or helles. These are all light in color, subtle in flavor, but not necessarily uninteresting, and moderate in gravity and alcohol. If you can get them to the point where they find your beer to be tasty, you might be able to gradually branch out to other styles that are even more distinctive. English bitter, Hefeweizen, patersbier etc. Feed them a progression of beers that more or less cater to their tastes, but perhaps with 1 or 2 minor deviations. Before you know it, they'll be swilling your smoked hop double Belgian IPA and your bourbon barrel peanut butter Russian imperial stouts. Well maybe not. For recipes for my serious suggestions, I recommend zainashef and palmer's Brewing Classic Styles. If you want to make these recipes lower in Gravity to reduce calories, consider reducing the base malts in the recipes by 10%. Alternatively, make them to specification and have unflavored carbonated water available to dilute the beer when you serve it. Not a joke.

 

I also would go blonde ale.

I was going to try this soon.

9lbs Maris Otter
.5lb Biscuit or Victory (haven't decided)

.25 oz of Centennial or Galaxy (also undecided) @ 60, 10, 5, FO

US-05

May not be technically a blonde, but is will definitely be sessionable and light

 

Was going to suggest a light lager, as opposed to all the ale suggestions above, because I think they will be more welcoming to a nice clean beer. I don't see any issue with separating into 5 jugs if that's what you need to do to fit in your fermentation chamber (fridge). Just make sure your wort is good and stirred before separating so you don't end up with different gravities between your jugs.

I, for one, really don't like making beer in 1 gallon jugs strictly due to the pain of getting the beer from the small jug to the serving vessel. But if you have a quasi easy plan for going about that, go for it.

Also, making a nice yeast slurry and putting the same amount (by weight) in each jug would probably be the best way to go about making sure you get consistent fermentation across all the jugs.

Recipe suggestion:
80% Pils
20% flaked rice
Bitter w/ noble hops to ~10 or less IBUs
WLP800 Pilsner Lager yeast
Mash @ 149*F 60-90 minutes
Ferment at 50*F 2 weeks
Diacetyl rest for 2 days
Lager at 36*F ish for a few weeks
Water profile suggestions welcome.

 

Record time, I'd say.

 

55% 2-row
42.5% wheat
2.5% aromatic
OG ~1.040-1.045
Mash at 150-152 for 60min
~40IBUs: citra and/or amarillo hops 1-2oz@15min, 1-2oz@10, 2-3oz@flameout/whirlpool
US-05 yeast, ferment at ~66

made roughly that recipe several times and always a crowd pleaser.

 

I suggest finding other ways to please your fiancee. Your homebrew is very low on the list of things than can do this.

I would argue this is more about pleasing and validating you than her. After several tries, she may understand this concept and feign beer pleasure for you. When she eventually divorces you, she will tell you how much your beer sucked and this will hurt you more deeply than you can imagine.

 

I wasn't around for DING, and OVERLORD spent more time banned than on here since I have been around but that is the most dirty asshole of things to say to someone that I can recall.

 

I thought that way for a long time, after even less than 15. Until one thing changed in my process and I was fucked.

 

Hopefully, the person I said it to has thicker skin than you?

 

To OP: BMC should do it...this could get ugly : )

 

OP, real talk, this is the best advice you've been given so far.