SAVAGES v3

Surprisingly this one is not that heavy, I think it even got a fair amount of radio play when it was released.

 

Target #1 Hint #1-I requested you as a target.
Target #2 Hint #1-If I requested a 2nd target you would have been it.
Both Targets Hint #2-you’re screwed, commence Operation Porch Reinforcement asap I may not wait long.
Both Targets Hint #3-neither one of you have had much Modern Times. That will change.
Both Targets Hint #4-Hint #2 was wishful thinking. I’ll probably take until the deadline. This will be in your benefit.
Both Targets Hint #5-you’re not very picky.
Target #1 Hint #6-we’ve talked before.
Target #2 Hint #6-I’ve been to your city. It was cleaner and way safer than I expected. I’d gladly come back.
Both Targets Haul Hint #1 -Due to Hint #5 above I'm trying to send you both identical boxes, or close to it. Not finding as many bottles as I usually like to send. But due to almost every brewery in CA shipping cans, just ordered a sweet box from one of my favorite breweries, in a city known for golf and scuba diving. From what I can tell, you both have only checked in 2 brews from here.
Both Targets Haul Hint #2 - Hope you're wanting a ton of hops. Just secured some of the most difficult CA cans to get ahold of. Was, struggling on brewery swag since many breweries are out of stock w/Covid. Not struggling any more. And this morning was able to order 6 different 4 packs of cans from a CA brewery more known for their sours. I think you'll both be pleased...as will my 3rd ninja target.
Target #2 (you know who you are) Final Haul Hint

Target #1 Hint #7 You haven’t called me out, and there’s a reason for that. But it gives me an opportunity to mess with you. Sending out a box hoping you think it’s a ninja. And then I’ll hit you again.

 

Packing and shipping boxes today. One is heading to Iowa and the other to California. Swag and food item will come a little later in another box.

 

Congrats to @Bum4ever and @Buck89 for winning this LIF! They both picked 47, with the correct answer 48:
My Firmino (9) + Daughter One Firmino (9) + Daughter Two Firmino (9) + Wife Salah (11) + My Mane (10) = 48

Since I didn't put a tiebreaker, both guys will get a box. Congrats guys. Boxes will probably go out end of next week, I have a mini-vaca planned early next week that might provide some opportunities to get something good to add.

 

Dear Targets,
My beer karma (real, not the fake BA crap) was running low so I shipped out 3 boxes today. None were for you, I still need a few more days. Your boxes will go next week.

 

Somehow missed your last hint, which should have made it obvious! Can’t wait.

 

Awesome!

 

Holy hell. I feel bad for the people in the apartment below mine.

 

Remember to bend at the knees while lifting.

 

Dear Targets,

Your boxes will not be arriving until the last possible moment. I want to include the latest Human Robot sours, since honestly those are my favorite Philly-brewed beers right now. Hoping they release one Friday, so that I can send on Monday. If not, I might wait a few more days.

I promise the wait will be worth it.

 

your targets will thank you for that

 

Dear Targets,

Your boxes are in the wind. The gaps in your NJ ticks will be fixed. Keep an eye out for the UPS truck.

MFW leaving the USPS earlier today:

 

LARRY!!!!! Just got my shipping notification. Looking forward to it!!

 

Math is hard but the rest of your hints seem to work for me. So...I'm

 

Side note, this reminded me of my favorite Chuck Norris joke.

When Chuck Norris went off to college and was saying goodbye to his parents, he looked at his dad and said, "you're the man of the house now".

 

Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up; he throws down

 

Enjoy guys, remember for heavy packages lift with your knees, not you back!

 

Hint 1: shipping east (or really, really far west)

Hint 2: I've sent or received beer from at least one target

Hint 3: There was a baseball player who played his whole major league baseball career, over 15 years, with one team...

Hint 4: he was an all star, gold glove winner, silver slugger

and since it’s Aloha Friday, let’s turn two

Hint 5:

Hint 6: he's also been a rookie of the year and a world series champion

Hint 7: he was in the American League

Hint 8: now that some of you know who this Sweet player is, I’m not shipping to the state that was home to his baseball team

Hint 9: Now that a team is established, I’m thinking of two P’s that played for that team. They have some things in common. One thing that they don’t have in common is that one was a RHP and one was a LHP

Hint 10: both pitchers have won a Cy young and a World Series

Hint 11: both pitchers didn't play their whole careers for that team

Hint 12: both pitchers won their Cy Young award when they weren't on the Tigers

Hint 13: both pitchers won the world series when they weren't on the Tigers

Hint 14: how the mighty have fallen. both pitchers pitched in 2019 and both pitchers' ERA was over 4

Hint 15:


Hint 16:

15 and 16 go together

Hint 17:

Hint 18:

Hint 19:

Hint 17, 18 and 19 go together

Non sports hint 1: For @Oconomowocian and other guys who are not baseball guys, you get math hints instead...the product of the digits in my zip code is greater than or equal to the product of the digits in either of my targets' zip code

non sports hint 2: the product of the digits in my zip code is greater than or equal to the sum of the digit products of both my targets

non sports hint 3: even if I were to swim across the Pacific Ocean and land on a state, I’d still need to cross at least 4 more states to reach my targets

non sports hint 4:

non sports hint 5: the product of my phone digits is greater than or equal to the product of the phone digits of either of my targets

non sports hint 6: the distance between my two targets' cities is a little less than half the distance from myself to @Bum4ever 's city

non sports hint 7: if a=1, b=2, c=3...for the entire alphabet, both of my targets' state name sum is greater than my state name sum (hawaii)[/QUOTE]

 

[/QUOTE]
I think I see who these hints are targeting..