Worst bottle break?

Never broken a beer that I myself was going to drink. Specifically because I duct tape the bottle around my left hand until I am finished pouring it all into my glass. Is it tedious? Yes. Is it cumbersome? Indeed. Do I cry tears of pain every time I rip that duct tape off my hand and take half of the hair on my hands with it? SO MUCH! But hey....................no broken bottles for me.

 

Dropped and broke a bottle of Firestone Anniversary right before having a tasting of about 6 other years of the same. Knocked over the first glass of Pliney the Elder that I ever had before drinking even half of it.

 

I'm a breaker of glasses not bottles of beer, I've broken a dozen collectable glasses. I can still kick myself on those fine mid 1970 ish glasses I abused , broke, or lost. Those were art pieces.

 

Waynes Market, Lincoln New Hampshire.

Picked a twelve pack variety autumn off the floor, the whole bottom gave out and probably 4 or 5 of the bottles smashed and seemingly every shard ricocheted and cut my leg with about 20 paper cut sized bleeders.

 

Dropped a firestone rye ddba/ bretta rose as the last bag moving into my new apartment.

Supposed "bottle bag" broke through the bottom. Good news is that a Parabola survived.

 

In college I had a molsen( don't judge, they were $ 10.00 a case) in my back pocket. I took it out, dropped it and landed flat on the bottom on a thin rug over concrete. The entire contents exploded into a 4' circle of dripping foam all over the dorm ceiling. Covered half my backside , plus a beer shower from above. Never seen anything like it. Crazy.

 

Watched a guy drop and break his SP Tete de Cuvée after the SP Zwanze day. Walked away like it didn't happen, no help cleaning.

 

Dropped a bomber of Stone 15th Black IPA all over some important papers

 

I set a bomber of Double Daisy Cutter on my friends granite countertop in Chicago. It instantly exploded in a rain of delicious DDC and glass. No cuts or anything, cleaned it all up. I emailed the brewery and they replaced it for me, which was awfully generous of them. They earned some respect in my book.

I've dropped more beers than I care to count, but nothing was worse than recently a group of my friends and I rented an RV to go to a football game. Someone left the rear hatch up and as we drove away the cooler fell out of the back, smashing about 6 bombers and a growler. A few beers did survive.

 

A couple years ago I had Clown Shoes Undead. I raved to my buddy about this beer and he was dying to try it. He told me to pick up a bottle for him when he came home from Oregon. I went back to the store, and of course it was sold out. Didn't see Undead for another year or so. Finally it was back in stock! I decided not to tell him and bring it back from CT to NJ as a surprise. After a couple of beers, I decided I would bring this baby out! I told him I had a surprise, and he knew exactly what I was getting. I grabbed the beer out of the fridge and we made eye contact around the corner. I gave him the "Yupppp, here it is" nod and rounded the corner. Swinging my arm like a jackass all I could hear was an explosion of glass- the bomber made impact with the corner of a cabinet. I felt the now weightless bottleneck in my hand and stared down at a luscious fizzing brown puddle, absorbing slowly into my basement floor. The End.

 

Had a Sorachi Ace break today. Not happy.

 

I was walking through the front door with a room of groceries and my roommate's st. Bernard knocked a 4pack of backwoods bastard out of my hand. They all broke on the floor.

 

Just last night. Shifting around beers in my cellar and boom, my new purchase of Evil Twin Maple Bourbon Jesus smashed on the floor. So sad.

 

August 2013 - Drove up to Waterbury, VT to visit The Alchemist's brewery (when it was still open to the public, before the new one obviously)

2 case limit of Heady Topper for people - I got there about 10:30, was out by 11 with my 2 cases and getting ready to drive home. Was packing up my cooler and watched a guy come out of the brewery with his two cases and drop them, as cans were gushing and shooting beer everywhere.

Was tempted to lick the pavement.

For me personally? I dropped a bottle of Breakfast Stout last year when I was pulling it from my fridge. That's about it, to be honest. *knock on wood*

 

Every once in a while I break one out of a case. Usually because I jostled it, or set it down too hard. Last one was a saranac kellerbier. =( Never just dropped one yet. Now glasses . . . that's different.

 

"Good ol' Paps didn't want them in his empty garage fridge..."

Wow! At that point, why even have a garage fridge?!?

For me, was on a business trip and finally located a Madame Rose from Goose Island (the year after the initial release) ... got it home, unpacking bottles from my "business trip haul", and the Madame slipped out of my hands and fell about 16 inches on to the floor squarely on the bottom, and the entire bottom separated with a clean break spewing all the contents across the kitchen floor. I sat there miffed and totally dumbfounded. (The perfect glass break was impressive, though.)

 

As others probably also do - I keep my cellared beer in 4/6 pack carriers and store them on the bottom shelf to minimize the chance of breakage. You can do this for bombers too as World Market - and probably other wine/liquor stores - have six pack carriers which are big enough for bombers. World Market uses them mainly for wine, but also Torani coffee flavoring. Many of you may have already done this.

 

I don't remember what the beer was, but after a long work day I stopped by the store on the way home and picked up a bomber. Got home, opened the car door, and it fell out shattering on the driveway. I was sad

 

Oh man some of these stories....sorry but I can't help but laugh at all of these because it's so damn relateable. You can hear the maniacal laughter coming from my cubicle. I am dying. I'm most definitely following this thread. Time for my small contribution.....

I have definitely smashed my fair share of beer but nothing too rare/expensive luckily. Still have a few funny memories (retrospectively of course)

Most expensive break
An entire 12 pack of Magic Hat Fall Variety. Me and some buddies in college were walking up Mission Hill (Boston) to a party. I was in charge of the good stuff (Magic Hat was top shelf beer in ~2006) but unfortunately, like the novice that I was, I held the case by the sides and the entire bottom gave out once we had reached the top of the Hill. It was a total loss and worse yet the liquor stores had just closed. People were not very happy with me that evening.

Most embarrassing
This one is a toss-up. The first one happened kinda recently so it's still fresh in my memory. When I was living in Tucson, AZ I was in the mood for grilled tacos and cheap lager so I went to the local carnicería and the liquor store right next to it and stocked up. Ended up getting some Mexican Adjunct Lagers and a 40oz of something stupid (I think it was Colt 45 or Country Club). I was fumbling with my keys to unlock my car (not the best area of Tucson, mind you) and the epic weight of the 40oz forced the plastic bag apart and it went off like a fucking pipe bomb. Scared the shit out of me and everyone in the vicinity (because, again, not the best area of Tucson). There were children crying, dogs barking and everything (yes I'm over-exaggerating but that's key to a good story). The lady at the store was kind enough to replace it for me even though I didn't have my receipt. All she asked for was the broken half of the cap+bottle. Never trust those black plastic bags.

Second one happened quite a while ago. It was last call at our favorite craft beer bar in New Bedford MA (Pour Farm Tavern) and I was in a hurry to get my me and my girlfriend one last beer. I quickly handed her a slippery (from washing or condensation or whatever) .5l Weihenstephan weizenbier glass. She dropped it. Dunkelweizen everywhere. People pointed and laughed and gasped. It was tragic. It was partially (mostly, if you ask her) my fault because I botched the hand-off and well...I guess I should've warned her about how wet the glass was. Anyway, I took full blame for the incident and apologized to the bartender and everyone else around me who had to witness such a disturbance. She quite happy I took the blame for it so I came out all the better.


I feel like I'm forgetting another good one but I tend to lock up these sort of memories and bury them in my sub-conscious so I never have to relive them. One involved freshly poured growler(s). One of which involved a 30 pack of beer on the top of a staircase. Imagine an avalanche of beers cascading down a long staircase, careening & exploding like missiles every which-way. Utter havoc. I'll certainly let you all know if I get any flashbacks of horror & devastation.

 

Either some random Pipeworks that will never be brewed again which did not even make it home from the packy because I tried adjusting the bag it was in for it to tip over and break, or the one I got last year when I knocked over and broke a bottle while bottling at home. I think that one wins because I got nerve damage from it and my left pinkie finger bulges out from where the cut was.