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Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here! | Pipeworks Brewing Company

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Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!
BA SCORE
3.76/5
Very Good
327 Ratings
Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!
BEER INFO

Brewed by:
Pipeworks Brewing Company
Illinois, United States
pdubs.net

Style: Milk / Sweet Stout

Alcohol by volume (ABV): 10.50%

Availability: Rotating

Notes / Commercial Description:
"Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Regular Stout. You're Mr. Regular Stout. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, White Stout, or uh, Milk Stout, or El White Russian Imperial Stouterino if you're not into the whole brevity thing." We aged this White Russian inspired white stout with cacao nibs, vanilla bean and cold pressed ipsento coffee. The beverage at the end of this process is beer that could turn anyone concerned with style categories into a nihilist. It is amber in color but has aromas and flavors of coffee, chocolate, vanilla, caramel and sweet malt. Delicious now or to cellar until Walter agrees to roll on shabbas (and that will be a while).

Added by Norseman on 10-29-2013

BEER STATS
Ranking:
#21,098
Reviews:
35
Ratings:
327
pDev:
10.9%
Bros Score:
0
 
 
Wants:
59
Gots:
63
Trade:
3
HISTOGRAM
 
User Ratings & Reviews
Sort by:  Recent | High | Low | Top Raters
first ← prev | 1-25 | 26-50 | 51-75  | nextlast
Ratings: 327 |  Reviews: 35
Photo of Ristaccia
4.45/5  rDev +18.4%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4.75 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 4.5

Photo of Rammed96
2.7/5  rDev -28.2%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2.5

Photo of AuntBea
4/5  rDev +6.4%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Photo of Gkruszewski
3.99/5  rDev +6.1%
look: 3.75 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Photo of cryptichead
4.25/5  rDev +13%
look: 4.25 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 4.25 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 4.25

Photo of Dutchcraftbeergeek
4.25/5  rDev +13%
look: 4.25 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 4.25 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 4.25

Photo of EMH73
3.94/5  rDev +4.8%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4.25 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 4

Pours a deep amber with a thin white ring of head that left no lacing. Very mild aroma with some coffee, vanilla and malt notes. Tastes of coffee, vanilla, chocolate, molasses, lactose sweetness and sweet malts. Absolutely no hop presence and hides the 10.5% ABV dangerously well. Light to medium bodied, well carbonated, smooth mouth feel and finishes slightly dry.

 367 characters

Photo of Hopheadjeffery
3.79/5  rDev +0.8%
look: 4 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.75

Tasted in a 9 oz snifter from draft at Consume on January 20, 2017. Look is clear amber with a thin off-white head and no lacing. Smell and taste is coffee, chocolate and caramel malts. Feel is full in body.

 210 characters

Photo of oakaged88
3.61/5  rDev -4%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.5

Photo of Bandi
3.93/5  rDev +4.5%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Photo of metter98
3.86/5  rDev +2.7%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.75

A: The beer is clear amber in color and has a light amount of visible carbonation. It poured with a short white head that died down, leaving wisps of lacing on the surface and a collar around the edge of the glass.
S: Light aromas of vanilla beans and cacao nibs are present in the nose.
T: The taste has flavors of cacao nibs and cold brew coffee along with notes of vanilla beans.
M: It feels medium-bodied and smooth on the palate with a moderate amount of carbonation. The beer really coats your mouth well.
O: This is not your typical milk stout and doesn't seem to have much in the way of lactose, but it has a very interesting mix of cacao, coffee, and vanilla flavors. It also does a very good job at masking any traces of alcohol from the taste.

Serving type: bottle

 779 characters

Photo of Chuckdiesel24
3.46/5  rDev -8%
look: 3 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.25 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.5

Photo of Gotti311
4/5  rDev +6.4%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Photo of Viperman1316
4.02/5  rDev +6.9%
look: 3.75 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 4 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 4

Photo of paulish
4/5  rDev +6.4%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Photo of TheHopsman
3.63/5  rDev -3.5%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.5

Photo of Shafaegalo
3.28/5  rDev -12.8%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3.25 | taste: 3.25 | feel: 3.25 | overall: 3.25

Photo of kojevergas
2.29/5  rDev -39.1%
look: 1.25 | smell: 2.25 | taste: 2.25 | feel: 2.75 | overall: 2.5

BOTTLE: Cash-grab 1 pint 6 fl oz format. Brown glass. Branded red pry-off crown cap. Fun label art (Bottle art by Beejay Olson.) Cost was $11.99 at a Whole Paycheck in Manhattan.

"Unfiltered." "Imperial white milk stout...brewed with vanilla beans, an abideable amount of cacao nibs and cold-pressed coffee." "Brewed with lactose sugar with cacao, coffee, and vanilla added." 10.5% ABV.

APPEARANCE: Pours a head that fizzles out within seconds, leaving no lacing. Body colour is decidedly wrong for the milk stout style; this offers a weak looking pale brown with tea-like oily astringency visible on its surface. Translucent but nontransparent. Hardly the opaque black the style calls for, and possibly the worst milk stout appearance I've ever seen. Even outside of style conventions, it's unappealing. Promises a flat brew with ill-enough dark malt presence.

AROMA: Artificial flavours are big in this aroma, with dollar store imitation vanilla extract dominating alongside cold pressed coffee syrup and an off-putting buttery malt sweetness. The extra sweetness from the lactose sugar ensures this aroma suggests an imbalanced almost cloying brew that I'm not at all excited to try. I don't find any chocolate, dark malts, or cacao. No roasted barley.

To style, there's no hop presence or booze - which I'll concede is somewhat impressive at 10.50% ABV.

Aromatic intensity is average.

TASTE: The vanilla, while artificial, kind of works when it emerges as dominant in the third act, but it's messy up front when blended with the cheap cold pressed coffee extract flavour and the too-high-to-be-balanced brown malt/pale malt sweetness. Lactose sugar adds still more sweetness, and it's paticularly unwelcome but I wouldn't say this is cloying nonetheless; it definitely doesn't hold a candle to saccharine messes like, say, Southern Tier Creme Brulee - but then at least Creme Brulee is nice in small pours.

There's no roasted barley presence or char to lend balancing bitterness, but I doubt they could put up a fight to the high sweetness in this build anyway. I find zero cacao nib presence and no chocolate - not even just chocolate malt.

The bright malt bend of this wannabe "white stout" feels wrong. I find myself craving even a boring dark malt backbone instead of whatever they're going for here.

TEXTURE: I guess the carbonation isn't as bad as I feared, but it's still off. Smooth, wet, unrefreshing, medium-bodied. Not syrupy or sticky, to its credit. Not overbearing or too heavy on the palate, but it's filling.

Not oily, astringent, harsh, gushed, hot, boozy, or rough.

OVERALL: Possibly the worst milk stout I'll have tried by the end of 2016, and I didn't expect that coming from Pipeworks (whose Abduction series has some real gems). It's a dreadful shrug of an attempt at a milk stout, and fails to nail the style (or the nascent "white stout" style) spectacularly. I get what they were going for, but the artificiality of it really drags it down and there's no balance, depth of flavour, or subtlety to be found whatsoever. Even throwing style conventions out the window (which I'm happy to do), this just isn't good and will be something of a chore to finish. I'm genuinely surprised they even brought this to market - did I get a bad bottle or something?

I will say that its ABV is well-disguised - and that may be its best attribute.

Low D+ (2.29) / NOT RECOMMENDED

 3,405 characters

Photo of ZEB89
3.38/5  rDev -10.1%
look: 3 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.25 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.25

Photo of 4DAloveofSTOUT
3.54/5  rDev -5.9%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.5

Photo of Monkeyknife
3.77/5  rDev +0.3%
look: 4 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75

Photo of Ohiovania
3.77/5  rDev +0.3%
look: 4 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75

Photo of chillin
4.34/5  rDev +15.4%
look: 4 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 4.25

Photo of warlock_with_a_backpack
3.93/5  rDev +4.5%
look: 3.25 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 3.75

Photo of Bammer21
3.59/5  rDev -4.5%
look: 3.25 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

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Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here! from Pipeworks Brewing Company
Beer rating: 3.76 out of 5 with 327 ratings
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