Carlton Dry Fusion Black
Carlton & United Breweries, Ltd.

Carlton Dry Fusion BlackCarlton Dry Fusion Black
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Beer Geek Stats:
Fruit and Field Beer
Needs more ratings
1.02 | pDev: 2.94%
Carlton & United Breweries, Ltd.
Carlton Dry Fusion BlackCarlton Dry Fusion Black
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Reviews: 3
Photo of SmashPants
1/5  rDev -2%
look: 1 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

Bottle: cheap clear 355mL bottle, cheap looking label.

Appearance: thick, deep yellow in colour. Really not a pleasant prospect.

Aroma: very unpleasant. An intense aroma of fake fruits with something incredibly unpleasant - worse than off metallic, more like a visceral, arm-sweaty pungence. Not nice.

Taste: ee gads! That ghastly, insipid fake fruit flavour comes through ever so strongly. A cheap, dirty lemonade base with an array of sugary distastefulness.

Aftertaste: damn, get this out of my mouth! It's even worse than the initial taste. Sweetness stays for a bit, but the taste of off metal and arm-sweat dominates.

Mouth feel: watery body with a lemonade-style carbonation that carries naught but an off metallic tang.

Overall: this is a big one. I have had hundreds of different beers, many of which have been pretty rotten. But this is truly, catastrophically awful. How dare they put this shiznat on sale? Why is this called "Black"? It tastes exactly the same as the lemon-infused one. i.e. bloody awful. This is the worst beer I have ever had, bar none.

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Photo of Macca
1.06/5  rDev +3.9%
look: 2 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

It pours crystal clear with a slight white head that quickly vanishes. It looks thin.

The nose is all ginger ale. Nothing else. It smells like I should be mixing it with cheap scotch.

Now that I've tasted it I wouldn't even sully cheap scotch with it. I've had two sips and the rest will go down the sink.

There is no body to it, well at least none that I could tell from the two sips & there is no way I'm having a decent mouthful to find out.

I'd refer everybody to lacqueredmouse's review below as perfectly summarising this abomination of a "beer".

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Photo of lacqueredmouse
1/5  rDev -2%
look: 1 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

I have the lowest, most horribly and terrible expectations for this beer. My hope is that it is even worse than I expect, so I can go on a diatribe about how terrible it is. Please don't disappoint.

Pours a clear and deep golden colour, like the colour of piss when you've been sick—no worse that than: when you've been terminally ill for about a year, but haven't been able to obtain euthanasia. Head is a slick film of white, a little like the brewers at Carlton got a little to excited about the prospect of Carlton Dry infused with "citrus and spice" and accidentally (?) jizzed into the fermenters before bottling. Lacing is non-existant, like my expectations for this beer.

The smell. Oh, that smell. Cheap, sugar-free lemonade mixed with cleaning solvents and cloves. But then filtered, and filtered again to nothingness. It's homeopathic. It really smells like it's been filtered several times through someone's body, and the sewerage system. Like warm, fermenting lemonade served in a perfunctorily cleaned men's urinal.

And that clove note! Why the hell would you put that in? It just heightens the senses to all the other abhorrent and putrefying stenches. Appalling, absolutely appalling.

I dread to take my first sip, and with good cause. Here, the overlay of sickly lemonade sweetness gets filled in by classic Carlton yeast abuse. It tastes like eating the well processed earth fertilized by a long-forgotten diarrheatic hippopotamus migration.

Cloves again rise a cacophony of satirical spice, again making you notice just how horrible everything else is. And when the yeast finally dies away, there's this aftertaste of sickly, sugary, empty lemonade which makes you pray to the gods that you instantaneously develop diabetes, in the hope that this will prevent you ever doing something as stupid as putting this in your mouth again.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you Carlton Dry Fusion Black! You have exceeded even my wildest hopes for how horrible you could be. It is truly astonishing that even after drinking others in the series, I could still be blown away by how appallingly god-awful this beverage is.

Don't drink it. Don't buy it, even for that guy who murdered your family and tortured your kittens. Stay far, far, far away. Move to a different city if you have to. Emigrate.

I can believe that if mankind ever develops interstellar travel, it will be purely in order to put as much distance between themselves and this unholy abomination.

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Carlton Dry Fusion Black from Carlton & United Breweries, Ltd.
Beer rating: 1.02 out of 5 with 3 ratings