Dark Chocolate Lager
Sleeman Breweries Ltd.

Dark Chocolate... Lager? Did I read that right? Nothing about lager is well suited to chocolate. I can think of many (more bizarre) pairings that would work much better: lager with lime and chilies (sounds good with nachos!), lager with hibiscus flowers (add a pleasant perfume for summer patio drinking) or just a simple dry-hopped lager (why is it we hardly ever see that?).

But chocolate? I'm skeptical and the aroma isn't doing much to sway me. That corn syrup-like sweetness so common with mass-produced lagers like the ones Sleeman makes is at complete odds with the chocolate - what paltry, sapless presence it actually has. It just smells like someone sprinkled a teaspoon of low-grade cocoa powder onto the surface.

Just as its clear, fair and frail mahogany complexion would indicate, Dark Chocolate Lager is really more of a Milk Chocolate Lager. (How do they expect to get away with calling something so light and colourful "Dark", especially since it's sold in clear bottles!?). It tastes more like cocoa butter than actual chocolate - maybe it's better on your skin than on your palate?

Kidding aside, this possesses none of the kind of rich, complex flavours that a high-quality chocolate offers. We're not dealing with single origin, fair trade beans - we're talking bulk cocoa powder and artificial vanilla extract. That's all you're getting. And, let's not kid ourselves, that's exactly what you'd expect. I would have been very surprised to find anything better...

On the plus side, there is enough "chocolate" to mask most of the adjuncts; it's bland and superficial but it's not detestable. That said, Sleeman Dark Chocolate Lager lacks the roasty, bittersweet qualities its name implies but also has just enough of that chalky, astringent cocoa character that it's sure to displease any type of beer drinker. No one will miss this one-off.

 

A: Dark amber color, perfectly translucent with very little retention. Head is tan and very macro looking.

S: It actually smells of cocoa, I think they just put some in it because the beer itself isn't dark enough to get those notes. There is a little bit of adjunct but it really isn't all that bad. A bit of toasted malts, biscuit, caramel and a very faint herbal hoppiness is present.

T: Actually tastes a bit more sweet and chocolaty than expected. Rest follows the nose pretty well.

M: What you would expect from the genre. A bit stickier than wanted though.

O: Decent beer, surprisingly so. Worth a try for the curious.

 

 

341 mL bottle from the LCBO, courtesy of Sleeman's latest Seasonal Selections mixed six.

Pours a deep, clear brownish-copper colour reminiscent of that of an old penny. It produces just over one finger's worth of soapy, cream-coloured head that lasts for five minutes or so before giving up the ghost; a modest-sized collar is left behind in its place, with no cap or lacing. There's an unmistakable note of cocoa solids on the nose, giving it a distinct chocolatey vibe that I find kind of charming. All of the other aromatic elements come off indistinct to me - it's a little sweet and malty, with hints of dark fruit, and that's about as detailed as I can get at this point.

The flavour is a bit lacking - not necessarily in variety or magnitude, but this lager's disparate elements seem to clash somewhat. The malt backbone consists of some bready, doughy biscuit and caramel flavours, but the powdered cocoa and bittersweet chocolate flavours manage to surpass it by the latter end of each sip. Minor notes of dark fruit, with a sort of earthy, roastiness to the profile. Lingering cocoa in the aftertaste, but that quickly drops off, leaving a diluted flavour and chalky feel behind in the mouth. Light-bodied, with appropriate carbonation levels for a beer of its ilk - slightly crisp, but restrained enough to not be a distraction. Easy enough to drink; chuggable even, because this beer's handful of flaws are too forgiveable to be truly repelling.

Final Grade: 3.30, a B-. I want to like Sleeman's Dark Chocolate Lager, but I think lukewarm approval is about as good as it's going to get. Not an unappealing beer, but the bittersweet cocoa flavours do not integrate well, and the end result is kind of a chalky, sloppy sort of affair that I don't find especially agreeable. It also smells considerably better than it tastes, which is always a recipe for disappointment. It's still decent by this brewer's standards, and I'd probably take it over the Honey Brown or the Original Dark.

341ml, clear as usual bottle, part of the current Sleeman Selections (or whatever it's called) mixed-pack.

This beer pours a clear, bright medium bronzed amber colour, with a near-teeming tower of puffy, finely foamy, and somewhat creamy ecru head, which leaves some decent spooky snow rime lace around the glass as it quickly blows off.

It smells of bittersweet, musty and stale cocoa powder, an indistinct pale graininess, a twinge of sour black orchard fruitiness, and a suggestion of warmed milk. The taste is bready, grainy pale malt, past its best before date chocolate cake, chalky lactose, a muddled dark and estery fruit character, and a very plain and innocuous earthy bitterness.

The carbonation is quite soft and evenhanded in its supportive and occasionally frolicking frothiness, the body a so-so middleweight, and mostly smooth, just a wee clammy pithiness arising as things warm up a tad. It finishes sweet, as in still rather chocolaty and milky, but not in the normal sense of those two words being used together.

Overall, not a bad, dessert-adjacent offering, but the cocoa, despite its strength, just seems old and tired, instead of fresh and delectable. Most other aspects in the beer are consequently overshadowed, and require no more elucidation here. A 'chocolate' beer for the gateway set.