Waka Zacca Flame
DankHouse Brewing Company

Review: WakaZaccaFlaka – DankHouse Brewing Company

(as told by a bard who witnessed the end of days through a cornhole match)

Lo, upon the eve of a great reckoning—known to the common folk as Friday—I did crack open a can of WakaZaccaFlaka. The sky trembled. Birds fled. Somewhere, a squirrel dropped his acorn in reverent silence.

From the vessel rose aromas of citrus and tropical splendor, accompanied by a dankness so divine it could resurrect a fainting goat. I inhaled deeply and felt myself become Chosen By The Boards. My friends warned me not to “get weird.” It was already too late.

The First Sip — The Awakening

With the beer’s touch upon my tongue, reality flickered.
Time slowed.
Cornhole bags floated midair like majestic, slightly moldy jellyfish.

A deep voice echoed in my mind:
“THROW, MORTAL.”

The Second Sip — The Unraveling

My confidence surged to catastrophic levels.
I approached the cornhole boards with the swagger of a Greek demigod who had just invented both geometry and poor sportsmanship.

I declared, “LET THIS TOSS BE KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE AGES.”

I wound up.
I launched.
The bag traveled in a trajectory so horrifying, so unnatural, that a hawk actively dodged it mid-flight. It bounced off a chair, rebounded off a cooler, struck a lawn flamingo so hard it rotated 180 degrees, and landed in a completely different yard.

I nodded solemnly and said, “That was practice.”

The Third Sip — The Ascension

At 7% ABV, the beer took full command of my soul.

I began narrating the match in a National Geographic whisper:

“Observe the competitive male human in his natural habitat. Witness his mating call: ‘Bro, that DEFINITELY should’ve counted.’”

My cousin told me to relax.
I removed my shoe and used it as a scoreboard.
The shoe declared me the winner.
I trusted the shoe.

The Final Sip — The Prophecy

As I finished the can, a powerful, hoppy enlightenment washed over me.
I gained the ability to see into the future.

And what I saw…
Was me missing every single throw for the rest of the night.

But I did not fear.
No.

For WakaZaccaFlaka had given me something greater than accuracy:
Unbreakable, unstoppable, utterly delusional confidence.

I stood atop the picnic table and proclaimed:

“LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THIS BEER IS FIRE,
THIS GAME IS SACRED,
AND I AM…
UNDEFEATED IN MY HEART.”

Was I asked to leave the backyard?
Perhaps.
But as I trudged home, I whispered into the wind:

“I regret nothing.
WakaZaccaFlaka forever.”

From a 16oz can:

Appearance: Hazy gold, good head.

Smell: Not much, very slight citrus?

Taste: Quite sweet and full bodied. Candied grapefruit. Cherry note. Thick feel and coating.

Overall: Got a single in a mixed IPA pack. Interesting, seems a little old school as the sweetness reminds me of some old DIPA/strong ales that weren't going for super high IBUs. Not what I was expecting (a dank bomb), but I like it!

Pours a hazy golden straw color with a 1 finger white head. Smell is fruity tropical and dank. Taste has grapefruit and tangelo with pine resin and fruit rind. Mouth feel crisp with fair amount of bitterness ,malts in finish to balance.

I tried this beer off the tapper at the brewery as part of a five sample flight. It poured a slightly hazy golden with white head that is leaving a nice lace. The scent had citrus fruit notes. The taste was nicely balanced and easy to drink with good orange and subtle bitter tangerine fruit presence. The mouthfeel was medium in body with good carbonation. Overall it is a solid beer.