Will this ever be possible, or should I move on?

One more minor adjustment needed. The calculator generating your OG is assuming a solution of simple sugars. For wort, the Brix needs to be divided by a wort correction factor, typically 1.04. The refractometer tab on VikeMan's BrewCipher makes this very easy. Check it out at http://www.beeradvocate.com/community/threads/brewcipher-4-0.294104/

Glad to hear you still have some of the beer to bottle. If you still think it is too sweet after carbonating, maybe try increasing the bittering hops.

 

Got it. I find it useful to sacrifice the sample for tasting purposes. I would find 1 gallon batches too small for anything except experimentation with the intent of scaling after achieving successful results.

 

Yup, sorry about that.

Cheers!