You Can't Take Me Anywhere
Off Color Brewing

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Off Color Brewing
Illinois, United States
Kellerbier / Zwickelbier
Ranked #77
Ranked #20,732
3.79 | pDev: 11.87%
May 25, 2021
Jul 22, 2014
Very Good
Notes: Formerly known as: You Never Take Me Anywhere Nice

..loooooong ago, there was a secret love affair between a Styracosaurus and Triceratops, which was very new to their friends and neighbors in the Cretacious neighborhood. So to get everyone to accept them, they threw a giant hot sulphur springs party. Roasted palm fronds, fern salads, beach balls and this beer. In honor of these two progressive dinosaurs, we've made this Zwickel as closely to their recipe as possible: pils, carapils, and slightly dry hopped. We can't promise it will get people to accept you, but who cares? We can promise it'll transport you to an amazing dino-beach party. In your mind, at least.

In 2020 we thought a name change for the yearly Zwickelbier You Never Take Me Anywhere Nice would be appropriate with current stay at home orders.

35 IBU
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Rated: 4.69 by Ristaccia from Nebraska

May 25, 2021
Photo of zeff80
Reviewed by zeff80 from Missouri

3.85/5  rDev +1.6%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75
16oz can. Poured out a slightly cloudy, golden yellow color with a small, off-white head of foam. It smelled floral with toasted caramel and bready notes. Sweet caramel and toasted bread with a subtle bitterness.
Jun 01, 2020
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Reviewed by Mister_Faucher from Washington

3.86/5  rDev +1.8%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.75
16oz can served in a nonic glass, No can dating.

Look- Crystal clear golden straw color. Modest bright white head that slowly recedes to a thin cap of foam, light lacing. Very active carbonation streams visible.

Smell- Bready malt and honey, yeast, lemon, light green apple, spicy/grassy and floral notes.

Taste- Nice lemony citrus, sweet bready malts, yeast, light green apple skin, floral/earthy hops and light spice.

Feel- Medium/light bodied. Crisp with a dry, light bitter finish. Medium/heavy carbonation on the tongue.

O- A very nice kellerbier and a great representation of the style, definitely worth a shot.
May 20, 2020
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Reviewed by eppCOS from Colorado

3.87/5  rDev +2.1%
look: 4 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75
Appearance: Proper, unfiltered look to it, great head on it on the first pour (not even aggressive), keeps a gold glow going throughout. Fine. 4/5 (no issues)

Aroma: A bit of muted sourdough starter and a hint of saltine cracker impression on the nose, and I did NOT have this too cold. A little lager-y tang on the old schnoz as it warms though. 3.75

Taste: Drinks like a fine, unfiltered Lager. Impeccable balance of malt, dough, cracker, really nice backbone to this with the "Lager" impressions saved for the back palate and throat. Pretty darn nice, not as flavorful as some other Lagers had recently (Maplewood/Dovetail). But clean as hell as a finish. Nice and cracker dry at the end. REVISED: 4!

Mouthfeel: really good, continuous bubbles, solid carbonation, nothing crazy, proper for a Keller. (apparently an unfiltered version of their Pilsner). 4

Overall: a really solid Lager from a brewery that doesn't necessarily specialize in Lagers (mostly wild, sours, etc.) but I really enjoyed it. Off Color continues to put a distinctive stamp on their angles, beers, and priorities. I for one appreciate it. If you find some, I think you would too. I'd say a 3.75 overall. I'd buy this if I lived in Chicago.
May 17, 2020
Rated: 4.25 by 4DAloveofSTOUT from Illinois

May 08, 2020
Rated: 3 by Riik3 from Illinois

Jan 20, 2019
Rated: 4.07 by Commandophile from Illinois

Dec 29, 2018
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Reviewed by joe1510 from Illinois

4/5  rDev +5.5%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4
12oz Bottle
$9.99 6-Pack
Binny's - Montgomery, IL

You Never Take Me Anywhere Nice is purty. It's the palest of goldens with just the slightest touch of haze obscuring pure clarity. The clean white foam is exceptionally silky and dense, soft, pillowy. Delicate lacing clings to the glass with each drink. It's appetizing, that's for sure.

The nose is also purty. It's all grain off the bat. A nice malty, dense graininess, freshly hulled with a bit of mustiness. It's so very clean. Floral notes come from both the graininess and from the hop profile. Cut, drying grass also shows up courtesy of the hopping. This beer is pretty bright and that crisp, bold, clean graininess makes me salivate.

The flavor basically follows where the nose leads. The graininess starts out clean with a drizzle of honey sweetness and segues to a damp graininess on the swallow. The floral quality shows up in the middle and pushes through the finish while a squeeze of lemon brightens it all up. The grassiness falls behind the floral notes in the flavor. This is some easy drinking, enjoyable beer.

The body on this beer is rather nice. It's a couple ticks heavier than what you would expect of a beer of this style with a carbonation softer than you would expect. That adds to a soft, pillowy feel. There's an even, mild bitterness that runs down the tongue while the finish dries up in a hurry and makes this beer ever drinkable. You could sit down and drink this one all day.

This is another good beer from the folks at Off Color. It's bright and clean and crisp. SImple and well done, which is never simple. I'll probably pick this one up again in the future. It would be a great Summertime outdoor beer.
Dec 09, 2018
Rated: 3.25 by JmpJckFlsh from Maine

Nov 24, 2018
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Reviewed by Beginner2 from Illinois

3.9/5  rDev +2.9%
look: 4.25 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.5
To confess my bias upfront...... With this beer, Off Color probably permanently passes my #2 brewer, Anchor (in number of ratings). I started with Anchor in 1976 (I had been a legal imbiber for 3 years.) I started with Off Color 40 years later. (I reward funny and it rewards me... and Off Color is very funny.)

This lager is cloudy and Looks true to this unfiltered style. But, this is explained humorously on the label as "Secret Ingredient: the filter guy called in sick." So for making me laugh, Off Color gets more points than they might otherwise deserve. Smells are slightly above average maltiness. But Taste is respectably balanced between malt and hops at 35 IBU. The spicing and bubbles clean the palate for the next bite of my sandwich. This beer is a dinosaur love story, so why can't everyone get along today?

As for the part about the dinosaurs being progressive and trying to get their community to accept them for thinking different... Well ... that metaphor should strike home to most Americans, I'd hope. As for me nowadays, as long as Trump is in the White House... anytime a beer can make me laugh twice -- at beginning and end -- then, that beer is my friend.

1/9/19 I finished the 6 pack with Indian food, a mild dal. Calmed the mouth, a decent pairing. The same metaphor is life.

3/1/22 Well, we got the dinosaur out of the White House... but now his buddy started a war in Europe. It's never simple. But I'm starting to like this simple-styled lager. I should drink more cloudy Kellers; reminds me of blonde ales. Anyway, I'm keeping count over at UnTappd.
Nov 09, 2018
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Rated by ChizzieLizzie from Illinois

2.42/5  rDev -36.1%
look: 4 | smell: 2 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 1 | overall: 3
It's got nothing going for it. Not worth the calories.
Nov 07, 2018
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Reviewed by SaltofOH from Ohio

4.78/5  rDev +26.1%
look: 5 | smell: 4.5 | taste: 5 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 4.75
Bottle B.B. 19 Sep 2018. Narrow top tumbler.

A: pours a slightly hazy straw yellow. One finger bright white head that lingers to the very end. Roiling visible carbonation. Left a lot of yeast in the bottle on purpose. Rings of lacing as you drink it down.

S: lager yeast! Loads of crisp grain, lager yeast, a hint of lemon peel but less than many a craft lager of late. It is that distinctive lager yeastiness that stands out to me.

T: crisp Pilsner malt arrival. Crackery, bready center. The slightest hint of floral hops toward the end. Clean, crisp finish. Lingering lager yeast and floral, borderline soapy hop note, but with the volume turned down as compared to Weihenstephaner original.

M: heavier end of lightweight. Slickness and carbonation stop it from being watery. Far from the cleanest finishing lager I’ve ever had, but it’s unfiltered, what do you expect?

O: another reviewer said this is their go to after Weihenstephaner. I can see that. Weihenstephaner Original is one of only two beers I’d give a perfect score. This is as close as any domestic lager has come to that standard. Really an excellent beer. If you’re not a snob who hates all lagers, you should definitely try this one. Damn how I wish I could get this regularly.
Jul 28, 2018
Rated: 3.9 by drstalker from Illinois

Jul 24, 2018
Rated: 4 by jakea from Wisconsin

Jul 23, 2018
Rated: 3.65 by robotic_being from Florida

Jul 17, 2018
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Reviewed by FBarber from Illinois

3.89/5  rDev +2.6%
look: 4 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.25
Pours a slightly cloudy bright golden color. Beer definitely clears up as it sits. Quite effervescent. Thick velvety head dissipates slowly but not completely.

Aroma has some notes of grain, cracker malts, grassy herbal hop aroma with a touch of sweet grain on the nose.

Taste follows the nose with some cracker malts, a a solid grain backbone, some lemon notes and a strong hoppy bitterness on the finish with some spicy grassy notes.

Feel is light and pretty crisp. Vibrant carbonation. Pretty dry finish.

Overall this is not exactly what I'd expect from a zwickel - it drinks more like an unfiltered pilsner than a zwickel. But lets say its just an unfiltered pilsner - then, its quite a good beer. Right up there with Tooth and Claw as great lagers from Off Color.
Jul 07, 2018
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Reviewed by dagmer from Illinois

4.9/5  rDev +29.3%
look: 5 | smell: 5 | taste: 4.75 | feel: 5 | overall: 5
Outstanding take on this style of beer. My new go to if I can't find Weihenstephaner. Tastes almost as great as it smells. Seriously, the aroma is great, I don't normally go sniffing lagers but this smells terrific.
Jul 04, 2018
Rated: 4.11 by Guinnsslvr from Illinois

Jul 01, 2018
Rated: 3.93 by ssimpson89 from Illinois

Jun 30, 2018
Rated: 3.94 by Jaycase from Illinois

Jun 22, 2018
Rated: 4 by JRod1969 from New York

Aug 24, 2016
Rated: 3.5 by Gotti311 from Wisconsin

Aug 15, 2016
Rated: 3.69 by Soneast from Wisconsin

Aug 14, 2016
Rated: 4.02 by Rihup from Illinois

Jul 10, 2016
Rated: 3.75 by ahbithwabm from Illinois

Jul 09, 2016
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Reviewed by Sazarac from Minnesota

5/5  rDev +31.9%
look: 5 | smell: 5 | taste: 5 | feel: 5 | overall: 5
This is an amazing execution of an old world hell lager. It reminded me of the Andechs Spezial Hell from outside Munich. Highly recomended. Brewers have been in to my restaurant and remarked at how amazing it is. So there.
Feb 14, 2016
Rated: 3.5 by nathanmiller from New York

Oct 02, 2015
Rated: 3.5 by Nordbier from Georgia

Jul 09, 2015
Rated: 3.08 by johnklotter from Vermont

May 15, 2015
Rated: 3.78 by dannycohen62 from Illinois

May 03, 2015
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Rated by onedogtwodog from Texas

3.4/5  rDev -10.3%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.25 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5
Had it on tap at Owen and Engine... Not usually my first choice style wise but pretty tasty with fish and chips...
Apr 20, 2015
Rated: 3.89 by Modernrickk from California

Apr 19, 2015
Rated: 3.46 by Whiskeydeez from Kansas

Mar 31, 2015
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Reviewed by TMoney2591 from Illinois

3.76/5  rDev -0.8%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.75
Served from tap in a becker at Firkin.

Gotta hand it to Off Color for brewing up a style that most brewers completely ignore. This stuff pours a partly cloudy straw topped by a finger of lightly off-white foam. The nose comprises sweet grain, sweetgrass, mild greens, and flowers. The taste brings in more of the same, the flowery grassiness taking full root. The body is a hefty light, with a light moderate carbonation and a rather fluid feel. Overall, a solid zwickel, something easy to drink and unprepossessing. Not bad at all.
Mar 05, 2015
Rated: 3.75 by Scarfer_Brad from Florida

Mar 02, 2015
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Rated by Hopheadjeffery from Illinois

3.5/5  rDev -7.7%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5
Tasted from draft at Firkin on February 27, 2015.
Feb 27, 2015
Rated: 3.94 by CraigTravor from California

Jan 21, 2015
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Rated by PHBoiler from Illinois

3.83/5  rDev +1.1%
look: 4.25 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 3.75
Bready, light and well balanced. Nicely carbed blonde zwickel with some hints of spice. Tangy finish with a light bitterness.
Jan 19, 2015
Rated: 4 by Axnjxn from North Carolina

Jan 02, 2015
Rated: 4.02 by superdoopersauce from Illinois

Jan 02, 2015
You Can't Take Me Anywhere from Off Color Brewing
Beer rating: 86 out of 100 with 51 ratings