Ice Cream Novelties
Magnify Brewing Company

This beer looks like watered down mud, smells like bad vanilla extract and notes of decent ice cream, tastes like dishwater that had vanilla extract and cheap coco powder dumped in it, feels like thin, lightly carbonated water. This is a disastrous mess of a beer, and I'm honestly embarrassed that a brewery that I generally like opted to release this rather than dump it. I honestly think I'm rating it higher than it deserves because it is just awful. It's a shame any brewery would actually sell something like this.

Reviewed on release day. Poured from 16 oz. can into Magnify tulip glass. It's an unusual color for a Porter. It's much lighter brown with cola hues; more the color of a Barleywine. The thin, ecru-colored head dissipated quickly leaving a thin sheen of lacing. The nose is heavy on vanilla, along with noticeable orange The smell is super sweet. I'm not smelling any of the roastiness commonly associated with a Porter. Like the smell, the taste features a strong dose of vanilla and orange. But it's also surprisingly bitter, particularly in the after taste. Again, there's no hint of the usual chocolate, coffee or nuts. The tastes blend better as the glass warms. The mouth feel is typical for a porter with perhaps more carbonation, and the 7.5% ABV is noticeable. Overall, this offering is certainly unusual: there's a huge contrast between sweet and bitter. Update: after two weeks I noticed a distinct improvement. The beer settled and mellowed; the orange is less in your face and as the glass warms I'm tasting more coffee and vanilla. I usually don't change my rating but in this case I raised it a little.