Seattle

Gorgeous scenery. Friendly people afflicted by a near-compulsive need to mainline hops. Tons of boats. Is there a reason to not start drinking your way from one end of Seattle to the other? Yeah, we didn’t think so.

Let’s start in Pike Place, because that’s where everybody who comes to town starts. It’s been this way since the beginning of time. Ten gazillion tourists can’t be wrong, eh? And when gawking at flying seafood and scoring impossibly fresh produce and cheese gets tiring, swing by the Pike Pub and Brewery for a reenergizing pint. Their stout will do terrible things to you. We promise. Nearby is Pioneer Square, Seattle’s longstanding cultural epicenter, and home to the city’s best spot for dinner and a pint, the Collins Pub. The place is seriously, ridiculously wonderful, a distillation of everything that makes Seattle great: They’ve got a passion for outstanding beer and food, and zero attitude.

From Pioneer Square, head uptown to Capitol Hill, home to the city’s best-reviewed (and award-laden) brewpub, Elysian, as well as the fiercely loved Belgian beer-and-Scrabble bar, the Stumbling Monk. Or, if you’re in a sporting mood, walk a few blocks south, toward the wall of sweating, roaring, uniformed masses that tend to congregate outside Qwest and Safeco Fields. Elysian and Pyramid Brewing both serve pints of handcrafted beers to athletically minded locals.

Point your compass toward the cranes looming on the waterfront, and then blow right past them. There may be plentiful quantities of beer to be scrounged up at the docks, but not the kind we’re after. Instead, venture into West Seattle (pit stops for beach-going and gawking at the Sound are highly encouraged), and seek out the Beveridge Place Pub. It stands out in the neighborhood for its commitment to stocking great Belgian brews—and for its free games. Hooray, games.

All this a little too neighborhoody? The South Park industrial district will change that right quick. Two top-notch specialty breweries—the Laughing Buddha, which serves samples of its adjunct-heavy Asian brews in its Tiki tasting room, and the German-only Baron Brewing Company—call the neighborhood home. Tour half the world without leaving the block.

By this time, you should be in proper condition to endure a long cab ride north, into Green Lake. There you’ll find two damn fine neighborhood watering holes, Duck Island and the Über Tavern. The Duck is a bit bigger and more low key than the tiny, often frenzied Über—hit it first. And when all that’s finished, Beth’s, Seattle’s best 24-hour diner, is right there on the block. How convenient.

Baron Brewing Co. [closed]
Seattle’s homegrown German craft brewery brews a hell of a Pilsner, and their 13-percent Eisbock promises to “kick your ass.” That’s a challenge we’ll take, friends.

Laughing Buddha Brewing
Laughing Buddha brews ales and lagers with Asian adjuncts like palm sugar, pandan leaves, mango ginger and lychee.

Elysian Brewing Co.
If Elysian’s three GABF Large Brewpub of the Year awards aren’t enough to recommend this brewpub, their Stout, Jasmine IPA and ESB should do the trick.

Pyramid Alehouse, Brewery & Restaurant
Pyramid serves up their award-winning Hefeweizen, along with brewpub-only exclusives, in the shadow of the waterfront’s stadiums.

Big Time Brewery and Alehouse
One of the geezers of Seattle’s brewing scene, Big Time has been brewing in the U-District since 1988. They’ve often got several interpretations of the same style on tap, so it’s best to try them all.

Maritime Pacific Brewing Co.
Seattle’s Ballard district used to be a port of call for mariners and traders; now it’s home to Imperial Pale Ales that’ll give you sea legs.

Pike Pub and Brewery
Leave that fish alone! Catch a Pike XXXXX Stout instead. Because, you know, beer is more fun than fish-tossing. Tastier, too.

Brouwer’s Café
Five dozen taps, over 300 bottles, and one nasty-good menu steeped in Belgian ales: Bottleworks, Seattle’s favorite beer store, is doing the beer bar business right.

Beveridge Place Pub
Eighteen taps rotating between the best of the Pacific Northwest’s offerings, plus 100 more in the bottle (including a monster Belgian list), plus free darts equals … us never leaving. Ever.

The Stumbling Monk
Beer Advocates are effusive in their love for the Monk, and throw all sorts of florid, devotional language at it. For us, calling it “plain and simple the best beer bar in Seattle” sums it up just fine.

Über Tavern
The proprietors have packed a whole lotta beer into this tiny, beloved bar: 17 tap handles and over 200 bottles. And with 2-liter boots, you’ll be packing them away, too.

Prost!
Newly remodeled, Seattle’s all-German neighborhood bar Prost! features plenty of cheer—and just as much Spaten on tap.

Collins Pub
The food at this Pioneer Square gastro-pub rivals the beer; have a look at the impressive, heavily local beer list, and you’ll find that to be a high compliment indeed.

The Barking Dog Alehouse
Local crafts on tap (long live the cheap-ass imperial pint!), tons of specialty Belgians by the bottle, and consistently tasty grub make for one beloved neighborhood pub.

Duck Island
Another little neighborhood joint with a deservedly fanatical following, Duck Island serves beer from 25 carefully selected taps with a heaping dose of good company. Both are equally well appreciated. ■