A Party Like It’s 2012

The future is near: There’s no time to waste on planning your New Year’s Eve party. New Year’s is a time to relax and celebrate, not worry about what you’re going to wear or where to go. My problem with New Year’s Eve partying is that no one can seem to decide on which party they’d like to be at. People are always coming and going, leaving behind scarves and not bringing beer because they dropped all theirs off at the last place.

The solution to this, of course, is to throw your own party, and make it so memorable that there won’t be much skipping-off. But what makes a good New Year’s Eve party? Aside from a healthy stock of good beer, one ingredient to a good party is to start with an inventive theme. Check out some of these ideas, and let your creative juices flow—that was a resolution for 2012, right?

THE APOCALYPSE PARTY
The ice caps are scorching, radioactive chemicals are pulsing through our veins, and now there’s no parking on your block? What is the world coming to? The END. Make light of the impending universal doom with a party to end all parties.

Decor
Set the mood with omens of destruction and despair. Party streamers made out of twisted plastic bags make a bold statement about the substance that will eventually strangle us all. Cover light fixtures with a jumble of small rocks tied together with chicken wire to resemble asteroids. Now that’s a party you won’t want to miss.

Optional Dress Code
Space suits and/or alien masks; gas masks; all black; steampunk attire.

The Beers
• Three Floyds Apocalypse Cow Imperial IPA
• 10 Barrel Apocalypse IPA
• Weyerbacher Black Hole Ale

THE COCKTAIL-FREE RAGER
Spin yourself into 2012 a day late after sleeping off this party on January 1st. Excess is typically the spirit of the evening, but since it’s not the Roaring ’20s, skip the mixed-drink station and fill your bar with beers that pack a big buzz. Fortunately, there are many new high-octane beers out there to take the place of the customary tequila shot. Now might be a good time to start planning your New Year’s Day hangover recovery strategy …

Decor
Keep it simple—nobody will remember a thing. But you may want to gear up with extra blankets and pillows for those who end up crashing for the night.

Optional Dress Code
Just because you’ve spilled beer on yourself and can’t walk straight doesn’t have to mean you can’t be dressed to the nines; nobody likes a drunken slob anyway. Put a little pomp in the circumstance with a well-groomed look—a tie and handkerchief at the breast pocket, crisp pants, comfortable yet polished shoes—if anything, to help keep your head up when it wants to slump.

The Beers
• BrewDog Sink the Bismarck (41% ABV)
• Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA (15–20% ABV)
• Nøgne Ø Dark Horizon, 3rd Edition (16% ABV)

THE PRIMITIVE PARTY
Forget futuristic foreshadowing and fears of technology taking over our lives, and party like it’s 2012 … BC. Who doesn’t wish they could get away from it all and live like a primate in its natural habitat for a while, so why not get a taste of it on New Year’s? It’s the perfect night to monkey around.

Decor
Think Jungle Book and break out the pet (or fake) snakes, hang bananas from lamps and crack some coconuts for refreshment. Keep weapons hidden safely—like that baseball bat-cum-club, bow and arrow, cleaver, dagger, or that thing with spikes on one end of a stick, if you have it lying around.

Optional Dress Code
Grass skirt; loincloth; toga; warrior paint; floral necklace or jewelry with feathers; chimpanzee suit.

The Beers
• CB’s Caged Alpha Monkey IPA
• Middle Ages Ape Hanger Ale
• Steelhead Hopasaurus Rex ■