Shotgunator and Headmaster Beer Pump
The name of the game is speed, Bro. You cut a hole, lift the can to your mouth, flip the tab and wham! Your botched shotgun hole has left jagged pieces of aluminum in the can and now you’re gasping for air, drenched in beer, blood and shame. Don’t let this happen to you again. Say “Later, bro” to shotgunning injuries and increase your chugging speed with the Shotgunator, a three-in-one key chain that can pop a large hole in a beer can without creating jaggies, and open bottles and can tabs the more conventional way.
Pros: Works okay, and offers college steakheads a false sense of safety. Plus, it’s something cool to whip out that won’t get laughed at by nearby waterhead girls.
Cons: It’s a lame novelty item that doesn’t promote responsible beer drinking; it’s too bulky to keep in your pants pocket; and—insult to injury—it costs more to have it shipped than they claim on the product page. Ugh.
[$3.99 (with shipping: $8.99 or $9.99, hard to say) at shotgunator.com]
Headmaster Beer Pump
Let’s admit it, hand-pumped keg beer sucks. But it looks like keg parties just got an upgrade. Part evolution and part ingenuity, the Headmaster Beer Pump is an electric beer pump that regulates keg pressure so there’s no excessive foaming or slow pours.
Sounds cool, but the drawbacks are many. First, if you don’t know much about tapping a keg, prepare to get sprayed with beer a few times until you get the hang of how this contraption hooks into the keg. It’s a little bit different from a traditional sankey coupler.
Plus, because it’s a pump, you’re literally forcing air into the keg to create enough pressure to pour the beer, so oxidation will set in and ruin the beer quickly—usually within a day. Make sure you have enough people around to finish it off.
In our tests, the pump worked, but our beer lacked carbonated crispness. Our preference is still a proper CO2 setup, which costs about the same and won’t ruin your beer with forced air. But the Headmaster could be a convenient alternative for those who don’t want to mess with CO2 cartridges. There’s also an optional battery pack ($79.95) and car adapter ($9.95) for those kegging it up in the wild.
[$149.95 (with a special price for college students) at headmasterbeerpump.com] ■