Old Chub Stick

“Twist the Knob & Rub the Chub,” it teases. Seriously, it does. Quivering with excitement, I raise the slick brown wax—scented with chocolate and cocoa butter—firmly to my lips and slide it across.

Relax. It’s a lip balm, and according to Oskar Blues Brewery (Lyons, CO), it’s the first one made with beer and beer ingredients, including Old Chub Scottish Style Ale, malted barley, hops, vitamin E, sweet almond oil, macadamia nut oil, beeswax, cocoa butter, coconut oil, cocoa extract, shea butter, natural flavoring and rosemary extract.

Fellas, here’s your excuse to sport healthy-looking lips without having your manhood called into question. Though it really doesn’t taste or smell like beer, it’s quite chocolaty and offers SPF15. And the fact that it’s made with beer is reason enough to buy it. $3, oskarblues.com

Beer Geek Tip: Make sure to wipe the balm from your lips before you sip your beer, lest you knock the head out of your beer. ■